Hey there weekday warriors,

(TLDR: Please complete this survey. The future of TWC is in your hands.)

One of my goals for TWC 2.0 is to make it The People’s Newsletter ™️. Not in a weird, cult-y way… I want to make sure that I’m building the community you want to be part of and the newsletter you want to read.

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My aim is to only put products/services in front of you that 1) you actually give a damn about 2) I can feel good about putting in front of you (i.e. no sh*tcoin projects).

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Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks "closed lower Thursday, pressured by a Meta-led slump in tech as concerns about slowing advertising growth offset better-than-expected quarterly results." (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield "were lower on Thursday following a raft of fresh U.S. economic data, as traders looked for clues on the Federal Reserve’s next policy moves." (CNBC)

+ Oil "fell more than $2 a barrel on Thursday as fears of a wider Middle East conflict eased at the same time that U.S. demand showed signs of weakening." (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin’s momentum slowed on Thursday, which is probably why you didn’t hear from your bitcoin bro (you know, the guy everyone knows that comes out from whatever rock he lives under every time BTC jumps 10%).

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24-hours were: 1) Amazon -1.50% 2) Nvidia -3.48% 3) Meta -3.73%.

“Look at me, I’m the captain now…” - Andy Jassy

Andy Jassy is finally proving that he might be up to the Herculean task of filling the gaping void left by Jeff Bezos’s departure (my inner monologue right now: “don’t make a Lauren Sanchez joke, don’t make a Lauren Sanchez joke, don’t make a Lauren Sanchez joke”). After a disappointing 2022, Andy has been more like this… and less like this in the year of our lord, 2023.

Amazon’s top line jumped 13%, easily beating expectations. And Andy’s got the American consumer to thank. E-commerce sales rose 7% on the back of its “biggest ever sale” (see: Prime Day in July).

On the earnings front, Andy Jassy didn’t just make analysts look foolish, he made them his b*tch. AMZN’s EPS hit 94 cents in Q3 vs. just 58 cents expected.

To be fair to the smartest guys in the room, the yuge profit figure includes a $1.2B gain from its investment in EV maker Rivian.

But the company is still reaping the rewards of its “right-sizing” (read: it laid off nearly 30k people) that began last fall. Other cost-cutting measures did the company a solid as well… like just removing employees’ bladders, so they don’t even need to waste time pissing in bottles.

“You sir are no Jeff Bezos…” - the haters

AWS’ earnings actually… wait for it… missed expectations ever so slightly. And word on the Street is Microsoft is coming for its cloud market share. Fun fact: Andy led the Web Services line of business before taking over for Jeffrey Commerce. ​

Not to mention, company-wide expectations for the holiday quarter came in right into the middle of analysts’ estimates. Jeff would never…

Still, shares rose almost 5.5% after hours.

It’s Friday. Don’t act like you’re busy doing something else…

Complete the quick, anonymous TWC survey now.

+ A credit card Christmas: Taking on shopping debt carries more risk this holiday season (Read)

+ Want to retire at 65 with $2 million? Here’s how much to save each month (Read)​

+ ICYMI yesterday... What it will take to make homes affordable again for millions of Americans (Read)

+ The American people are spending money like they’re a dude named Kyle (yes, he’s wearing white Oakley’s) at a Monster Energy BOGO sale. US GDP grew an astonishing 4.9% in the quarter... above estimates of 4.7%. And, believe it or not, it was consumer spending that put the team on its back (+4%). We out here putting the product in gross domestic product.

Luckily, the strong showing won't exactly come as a surprise to J-Poww and his merry band of Central Bankers. And, as such, the figure likely won't impact Fed Policy going forward. *J-Poww adds this report to his 'high for longer' folder... just in case* (Read)

+ Name three worse words in the English language than “return to office.” Ford workers are packing their lunch pails and heading down to the factory for the first time in 6 weeks. Because management has made a deal with the devil (the UAW). The union reached a tentative labor agreement with Ford just ahead of its earnings report. Probably not a coincidence.

Ford had to make it rain on its employees to get them back to the office. They'll get a 25% raise over the 4.5 year term, juicier retirement contributions, and certain changes to pay tiers. GM and Stellantis have yet to cave. Ford was down almost 1% on the day. (Read)

+ FORD BONUS: Ford reported after the bell, and its Q3 was more disappointing than finding out the car company wasn’t going to make a special OJ EDITION of the new Bronco. It missed on the top and bottom lines. And it still pulled guidance for the full year… despite the handshake agreement. Ford reported that the strike had cost it $1.3B. (Read​)

+ Zuck made Q3 his b*tch. On Wednesday, after the close, Meta reported a beat on the top and bottom line… despite massive losses on Zuck’s little metaverse side hustle. Still, shares fell nearly 4% yesterday. So, who’s to blame? I don’t like to point fingers… but it probably had something to do with CFO Susan Li warning about headwinds related to “unpredictability” in the Middle East. Friendly reminder: Snap suffered a similar fate after mentioning “geopolitical uncertainties.” (Read)

+ Chipotle’s earnings were the complete opposite of your bowel movement after consuming a double carne asada con queso burrito: very, very solid. The fast-casual joint that your parents have a hard time pronouncing, beat on the top and bottom line as its price hikes continue to outpace inflation. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ ExxonMobil, Chevron, and Charter report

+ The University of Michigan consumer sentiment data drops (no word on if this data was illegally collected from the opposing sideline)

Yesterday, I asked Who should have been the next CEO of Morgan Stanley (wrong answers only)?

A few answers put a smile on my face...

• Dog the Bounty Hunter

• Caroline Ellison

• MORGAN Freeman and STANLEY Tucci

• The eldest boy

Here's today's question...

FIRST… watch this viral video of a woman complaining about having a 9-5…

NOW…

What’s your immediate reaction?

Respond directly to this email and I'll share the best answers tomorrow.

Oh, and I have one more question…

Have completed the TWC survey yet?

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of a God-fearing family man with sh*t-for-brains. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.