💦 That's showbiz baby

ESPN just dropped financials for the first time ever

Hey there weekday warriors,

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but keep fighting the good fight. If Costco’s outgoing CEO could work his way up from forklift operator to head honcho, you can get promoted to Assistant VP.

Here’s what we’re getting into today...

  • ESPN opens its books

  • J-Poww speaks

  • New TGL team, who dis?

Enjoy the next few 4 minutes and 2 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

PS, in case you missed it… after nearly two years at Barstool, The Water Coolest has gone independent (again). And I'm in the driver's seat.

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2. That's it.

MARKETS

+ US stocks "closed lower Thursday as investors weighed a surge in the 10-year Treasury yield, mixed quarterly results and remarks from Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell." (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield "ended just below 5% on Thursday, yet still established another 16-year closing high, after Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell discussed the U.S. economy’s resiliency and the possibility of further monetary tightening." (Reuters)

+ Oil "rose for a third day in a row as Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell’s disinclination to suggest another rate hike despite worrying US inflation tamped down the dollar, handing commodity bulls, including those betting on higher crude prices, a win." (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin rose thanks in part to Grayscale's victory over the Shortseller Enrichment Commission last week. Friendly reminder: the SEC said it wouldn't appeal a judge's decision to allow Grayscale to proceed with a bitcoin ETF. (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24-hours were: 1) Tesla -9.30% 2) Netflix -16.05% 3) Nvidia -0.23%.

That's showbiz baby

IMAGE1

ESPN is in a slump… (Source: Giphy)

"I was in the pool." - ESPN

The Worldwide Leader has a shrinkage problem. For the first time ever, we got a look at the financials of the OG sports network​. In an SEC filing, Disney broke out its "sports" division, which, for the record, is mostly ESPN. Friendly reminder: new (but also old) CEO Bob Iger recently restructured the company to include 3 segments: Entertainment, Sports, and Experiences.

And, well, let's just say it's becoming more clear why Bob Iger has decided to put its prodigal son up for adoption. For the first 9 months of 2023, ESPN's revenue came in at $13.2B... a 1.3% drop​ vs. the same period last year.

But wait, it gets worse...

The bottom line was harder to look at than Alex Smith's broken leg on repeat. ESPN's operating income of $1.48B for the three quarters ended July 1st fell 20% year over year. And now all the talent layoffs are starting to make a lot more sense...

What went wrong?

You're not going to believe this, but the cable-only network is losing subscribers like an IG model when she goes public with her bf. That, coupled with the skyrocketing costs of sports rights, has made for a nightmare scenario.

Of course, the company isn't exactly helping itself. It still hasn't announced a release date for a full streaming DTC service (read: real ESPN, not that red-headed stepchild, ESPN+).

Swing and a miss...

Not great to be putting up these kinda numbers in the show biz equivalent of a contract year. You see, Disney is reportedly considering offloading some or all of ESPN. It's allegedly eyeing deals with sports leagues like the NBA... which would certainly help cut down on the cost of acquiring rights.​

Interested in being one of The Water Coolest’s first advertising partners? Fill out this form and I’ll be in touch.

STB

+ Here’s the Income You Need To Be a Securely Middle Class Family (Read)

+ Is $1,000,000 Enough Money To Consider Yourself Wealthy? It’s Complicated (Read)

​+ ICYMI yesterday... 6 Secrets That TV Shows Don’t Tell You About Flipping Houses (Read)

TS

+ Hear me out... what if inflation isn't too high, but the Fed's mandate is too low

Yesterday J-Poww told the Economic Club of New York (which sounds like it smells of rich mahogany, and wouldn't allow TWC readers to become members) the Fed is "resolute" in its plans to achieve its mandated 2% inflation. Such a stickler for the rules...

Jay didn't offer up any indication of whether he planned to raise rates at the November or December meeting. But, during his speech, futures traders sent the chances of a hike in November and December tumbling. So we've got that going for us.

The Central Bank's big swingin' d*ck also hinted that rising bond yields could be doing some of the Fed's work for it (see: slowing the economy). So markets were stoked, right? Right?! Not exactly. Despite indications that the Fed's rate hiking journey may be over, the stench of "higher for longer" hung in the air like a stale fart. (Read)

What else?

+ "Oh and a TGL team too." - USC QB Caleb Williams who recently said he wants an ownership stake in whatever NFL franchise he's drafted by​.

Owning a TGL team (the new golf league founded by Tiger Woods and Rory Mcilory) is the new "owning a pickleball team." Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, and Andre Iguodala (perhaps you've heard of them?) are teaming up with billionaire Marc Lasry to buy the TGL's San Fran franchise. For those of you still saving up, I've got some good news: there's still one team (out of 6) left to buy. (Read)

+ What's that? You've been mildly inconvenienced by not having 5G connectivity in your city? Welp, at least you're not one of these poor b*stards. Nokia is laying off 14k employees, or nearly 20% of its workforce, citing weakness in its 5G biz. The company's earnings were abysmal. Global sales fell 20%, with North America's top line cratering 40%. No wonder why the rest of the world hates us. Shares of the Swedish telecom fell more than 5% in the US. (Read)

FWD

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Amex reports

+ Amazon's TwitchCon gets underway in Vegas (virgins only)

EXIT

Yesterday, I asked What's the best sandwich place in your town? Make sure to give the deli and town.

I got a ton of deli recommendations. I think the play here might be to spin up a database. More to come...

Here's today's question...

During J-Poww's speech yesterday, a bunch of climate protestors stormed the stage​. Got me thinking...

Who is the worst type of person at work?

Respond directly to this email and I'll share the best answers tomorrow.

FINE

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

TYLER

No, it’s the face of a God-fearing family man with sh*t-for-brains. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.