One daily email. Four minutes. 100% not for everyone.
“Somehow snarky, slightly offensive… and smart — in that order.”
- c******[email protected], satisfied reader since 2018
Unfiltered coverage of markets, big business, and the main characters that run the show. And what it all means for the rest of us.
You’ve definitely wasted clicks on worse.
Written by the same “snarky mf’er”
(source: a***[email protected], right before he unsubscribed) since 2017, trusted by hundreds of thousands, and unlike anything else in your inbox.
If you want the real story delivered with “group chat commentary,” “2000s movie references,” and “just enough depth to hold your own at happy hour” — welcome home.
Don’t take our word for it…
“A comedic and engaging snippet of current events and how they’re relevant to every man, not just those with financial backgrounds.”
– Written by someone who thinks CNBC is a personality test
“It's like Family Guy's interpretation of the Wall Street Journal.”
– Said by someone who invests exclusively via memes
“Best toilet read I’ve ever had.”
– Typed mid-swipe, legs asleep
“It’s like reading financial news during a bar fight — somehow messy, hilarious, and weirdly insightful.”
– Written by someone who thought ROI meant “Roast of Investors, Inc.”
At least this won’t ask you to “smash that like button.”
But The Water Coolest isn’t for everyone…
This email is not for you if you:
Don’t like the masters of the universe being roasted for doing masters of the universe stuff
Need trigger warnings before someone insults billionaires, multinationals, and pretty much every Forbes 30 under 30
Dislike pop culture references
Get butthurt about “coarse” language
Seriously. We’re not for everyone.
We’re for the rest of us.
Join 102k+ readers who now understand the markets just enough to be dangerous.
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Your last five tabs were way dumber than this.
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