Hey there weekday warriors,

Here’s what we’re getting into today…

• Amazon’s new SaaS product

• Elon’s payday

• ASML spooks investors

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 7 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

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+ US stocks “fell in choppy trading on Wednesday as investors assessed the Federal Reserve's interest rate stance and a batch of soft earnings early in the financial reporting season.” (Reuters)

+ The 10-year Treasury yields “pulled back on Wednesday as investors digested comments from Federal Reserve policymakers about the state of the economy and monetary policy outlook." (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled down 3% on Wednesday, pressured by a rise in U.S. commercial inventories, weaker economic data from China and U.S. progress on Ukraine and Israel aid bills.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin struggled to maintain $60k.

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Trump Media +15.5% 2) TSMC -0.5% 3) Nvidia -3.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Despite Boeing’s best efforts, United Airlines jumped 17.4% after reporting strong earnings and sharing a rosy outlook.

+ Trump Media & Technology finally stopped the bleeding. DJT rose 15.9% on the day.

– Trucking company JB Hunt stumbled 8.1% after indicating that freight demand was weaker than a trucker who just got a compliment from a stripper.

+ Shares of Snap jumped 4.7% on news that the House is looking to “fast track” a ban of TikTok in the US.

The future is now, old man

Amazon (-1.1%) is changing the shopping cart game.

Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the new Boston Dynamics robot?

The e-comm giant, whose Employee Handbook includes an entire section on pissing in water bottles, is rolling out its Dash Carts to other retailers. Shopping cart as a service (SaaS), if you will…

The shopping carts on steroids are rolling out in a handful of non-Amazon stores in Kansas and Missouri.

Unfamiliar with Dash Cart’s game?

It’s part of Amazon’s suite of brick-and-mortar tech. The smart carts are equipped with cameras and sensors to tally the total due in real-time. Then, whenever you’re done shopping, you just pull a Jameis Winston (walk out of the store without waiting in line or paying a cashier).

“Wait, this sounds vaguely familiar…”

No, it’s not a fever dream….

The Dash Cart is available for use in AMZN’s Fresh stores and at certain Whole Foods (not mine, and I may never forgive Andy Jassy).

Or, perhaps you heard about its Just Walk Out platform that has turned into a bit of a PR nightmare (nothing some salacious Lauren Sanchez headlines can’t bury).

This month, Amazon said it would discontinue the tech in its Fresh stores.

Then some tech dorks over at Gizmodo claimed the “JWO” tech is actually a bunch of offshore talent watching you shop in real-time and calculating your final bill.

Hard to come back from that…

+ Imagine a worse time to ask shareholders to re-approve your $55.8B pay package…

Earlier this week, Tesla (-1.0%) laid off 10% of its workforce.

Rumors are swirling that the company has given up on its “affordable” Model 2.

EV demand is worse than Elon’s baby mama’s Coachella performance.

Shares of Tesla are down 37% this year…

And the EV maker’s board is asking shareholders to sign off on Elon’s massive 2018 pay package that was struck down by a Delaware court earlier this year (this time with more transparency).

I guess it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that the Street thinks that the comp package will get shareholder approval. The bigger question is if the judge will sign off on it…

+ Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Shares of ASML (-7.0%), the company that makes the machines that make semiconductors (still with me?) got rekt yesterday after reporting earnings. The top line miss didn’t help, but it was Q1 orders dropping by 61% that had investors going all “and for that reason, I’m out.”

And, as you might have guessed, this raised some concerns about the industry as a whole. Think: “Is this a leading indicator of chip demand falling off a cliff?” Arm, AMD, Nvidia, and Intel all took their lumps…

+ “I’ll f*ckin do it again.” - the FTC

The US Federal Trade Commission is doing what it does best… getting in the way of M&A. Rumor has it that the fun police plan to sue to block Tapestry’s (-0.9%) (owner of Coach) $8.5B acquisition of Capri (-2.7%) (which owns Michael Kors and other luxury brands). The EU and Japan signed off on the deal earlier this week.

+ It was a bad day to be Boeing (-0.2%). Well, worse than normal. Whistleblowers (the ones Boeing hasn’t gotten to yet) told Congressional subcommittees yesterday things like “they are putting out defective airplanes.” Woof.

And just hours before, United Airlines said during its earnings call that Boeing would compensate it for losses incurred thanks to plane groundings and delivery delays. United estimated that it took a $200M hit courtesy of Boeing’s incompetence.

+ I have 5 income streams and make $142,000/mo from Amazon alone: Top 3 side hustle mistakes I always tell others to avoid (Read)

+ Series I bonds are ‘still a good deal’ despite an expected falling rate in May, experts say (Read)

+ How much money should you keep in your checking account? This TikTok user says she would ‘panic’ if her balance fell below $4,000. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Netflix, Blackstone, Ally, Taiwan Semiconductor, and Intuitive Surgical report

+ A bunch of Fed officials take the stage to run their mouths about higher for longer

Yesterday I asked… What’s the greatest casual chain in the game?

Alright, here are your top 3…

1. Texas Roadhouse

2. Chili’s

3. Olive Garden (I won’t show my Italian grandmother this one)

Here’s today’s question…

BTW…

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Oh, and…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional