💩 Alcohol is bad mmkay

And POTUS pulls the plug on a huge merger

Author

Tyler Morin
January 06, 2025

Hey there weekday warrior,

The fun police are back on their bullsh*t. And this time they’re coming for alcohol.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 13 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

+ US stocks “stepped higher on Friday, shaking off a downbeat start to 2025 as Tesla and Nvidia led a tech-heavy comeback.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “moved higher on Friday as investors considered the economic outlook for the new year amid a quiet trading week.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices edged higher on Friday and were on track for weekly gains as cold weather in Europe and the U.S. as well as additional economic stimulus flagged by China helped push prices in the previous session to their highest in more than two months.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rallied about 4% this week.” (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Advanced Micro Devices +3.9% 2) Nvidia +4.4% 3) Kohl’s Corporation +0.6%

The market moves you need to know about


+ Cerence AI went parabolic on Friday. Having AI in its name isn’t its only unfair advantage. It also announced it was “expanding a partnership” with Nvidia. Investors didn’t seem to give a damn that Cerence is just kinda using Nvidia’s tech, which anyone with enough money can do. Shares jumped 143.7% on the day.

+ Imagine a merger worse for consumers. You can’t. Shutterstock and Getty Images, which charge ‘your firstborn child’ for a digital picture of Justin Bieber at Nobu, are talking about merging. Getty rose 13.2% on the day, while Shutterstock jumped 7.8%.

Alcohol is bad mmkay

Source: Giphy

Something tells me US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy isn't very fun at parties. Probably always warning everyone about the microplastics in Red Solo Cups and how "Zyn is wayyy worse than JUUL."

The equivalent of the team doctor for the entire United States has decided to wage war on alcohol like some sort of Puritan. Instead of focusing on the health concerns that matter, like whatever the hell is going on in the Telepathy Tapes, he’s recommending alcohol carry a cancer warning label.

Viv wants drinkers to know that they're about to consume the third leading preventable cause of cancer in the US. Obesity and tobacco are the top two seeds, in case you were wondering.

If the Surgeon General gets his way, labels on beer, wine, and liquor would warn about the cancer risks associated with the nectar of the gods. The idea is they'd act as a buzzkill and encourage Americans to stop drinking, or at least reconsider their habits.

Proof

In Vivek's defense, he came with receipts. There's research that links alcohol to seven types of cancers


In his press release, the SG shared that alcohol is "responsible for about 100,000 cases of cancer and 20,000 cancer deaths annually in the United States — greater than the 13,500 alcohol-associated traffic crash fatalities per year in the U.S."

As you probably guessed, alcohol shares tumbled on the news. Molson Coors (-3.3%), AB InBev (-2.8%), and Diageo (-3.7%) all fell on Friday.

TS

+ In what has to be the least surprising move of his Presidency, Joey Politics has pardoned Hunter officially killed Nippon Steel’s takeover of US Steel


If you’re thinking, “wait, didn’t that already happen?” Well, yes, but also no. Biden had indicated that he would block it as far back as March of 2024.

So why’d Joe get his Dikembe Mutombo on? Well, probably because he’s only got 2 weeks left in office. Oh, and he agreed with both sides of the aisle that a Japanese company taking over a company called US Steel was a “national security threat.” TikTok be like ‘f*ck my life
’

Joe was facing some added pressure from the United Steelworkers union. Union Prez David McCall said allowing the deal would “further destabilize our trade system from within and in the process, compromise our ability to meet our own national security and critical infrastructure needs.”

Nippon and US Steel called the decision unlawful. Because, obviously.

US Steel (-6.5%) shares fell after the announcement.

+ You gotta spend money to make money.

Microsoft (+1.1%) Vice Chair and President Brad Smith just dropped a yuge announcement Friday that the maker of Teams will spend $80B in 2025 on data center construction for AI. That sound you hear is Nvidia’s sales team going from six to midnight. And some good news for the America First crowd
 over half of that sweet, sweet infrastructure investment will take place right here in ‘merica.

Smith also publicly called for the incoming Trump administration to increase funding for AI research and a national “talent strategy” for American job training in the coming AI age. Suck it, robots.

+ This might be the greatest Motor City comeback since B-Rabbit took down the Leaders of the Free World


US Auto is back, baby. On Friday, both GM (+0.7%) and Ford (+2.3%) reported their best annual US new vehicle sales since 2019. GM Q4 sales rose 21% from the same period last year, with electric vehicle sales nearly doubling. That makes GM the 2nd largest US EV seller. Elon punching the air right now. 

Ford also saw growth in the EV department, with a 9% gain in Q4. Meanwhile, Toyota (+1.1%) posted a 3% decline in quarterly sales, and Stellantis (-1.9%) (think: Jeep, Chrysler, Ram) posted a 7% drop in sales.

And just in case Elon’s week wasn’t bad enough (friendly reminder: Tesla reported its first annual delivery decline in a decade), Rivian (+24.4%) shares had their best day ever. RIVN rose after the company reported production came in line with expectations and indicated its supply chain issues are behind it.

+ Ok, now do Barron


In the latest attempt by tech titans to cuddle up to Donny Politics pre-inauguration, Amazon (+1.8%) Prime Video announced that it will be licensing a documentary film about First Lady Melania Trump.

It’s not Bezos’ first rodeo. Like many other fat cats, Lauren Sanchez’s Sugar Daddy met with Trump at White House #2 (Mar-a-Lago) following the election and cut him a $1M check for his inauguration. Filming for the unnamed documentary began in December and is expected to be released in 2025.

+ Driving into Manhattan? That’ll cost you, as new congestion toll starts Sunday. I have a funny feeling the MTA CEO’s "sign unveiling ceremony” is going to age about as well as George W. Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished” moment.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

FWD

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on


+ Happy January 6th to those who celebrate

+ The Consumer Electronic Show gets underway

EXIT

Friday, I asked, “For the rest of your life you either have to ride one of those electric scooters (think: Lime, Bird, or literally any of the other ones) everywhere OR only eat Taco Bell. Which horrific fate are you taking?”

57.1% of you are taking (death by) Taco Bell.

Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)


  • “Need to go to the hospital? Gotta scoot. Blizzard conditions while you’re going skiing? Gotta scoot. Drunk Ubers? No thanks, gotta scoot
 yeah I’m choosing TBell 100%”

  • “I just pulled up the Taco Bell menu... They have chicken nuggets now?! I'm going TB and banking on 20 more identity crises over the next 40 years to keep it interesting (assuming I live that much longer eating their "healthier" bowl options).”

  • “Ketchup for my three kids and I chose scooting, my wife chose Taco Bell. Presumably because she wants to escape via an early death.” She's not allowed a vote if she doesn't subscribe. Sorry, I don't make the rules (kidding, I do).

  • “Eating Taco Bell over a long period of time would surely lead to a slow agonizing death. The scooter would be a much quicker and merciful way to go.”

And here’s today’s question


Picture this: every time you go to the liquor store (I'd say "package store" but everyone will get mad at me) there are huge labels on alcohol & signs around the store warning you that booze can give you cancer. How do you think your habits would change?

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Oh, and one more thing


What did you think about today's newsletter?

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FINE

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.