Hey there weekday warriors,

Today we’re getting into Amazon’s worst idea since the Fire Phone. Plus, a major OpenAI acquisition.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 43 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “closed mixed on Friday but finished the week higher even as the artificial intelligence trade showed signs of stumbling.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield was “little changed Friday as traders pored through the latest U.S. economic data in search of clues for when the Federal Reserve may cut rates." (CNBC)

+ Oil “eased about 1% on Friday on worries that global oil demand growth could be hit by a strong U.S. dollar and negative economic news from some parts of the world.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin’s “slow bleed lower over the past weeks sped up Friday, the price dipping more than 3% in the past 24 hours to slide to about a five-week low of $63,700, now lower by 9% over the past month.” (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -3.2% 2) C3.ai -0.8% 3) Tesla +0.7%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ The good news is that Trump Media rose 3.4% on Friday. The bad news? It is down nearly 50% since the former President was convicted on 34 felony counts. To be fair, the stonk’s collapse probably has more to do with the fat stacks of outstanding warrants that can be exchanged for shares.

– Nio and Li Auto fell 0.6% and 0.8%, respectively, after news broke that Canada is considering tariffs on Chinese EVs similar to those in the US and EU.

+ Shares of HubSpot jumped 3.8% on news that Amazon and an unnamed suitor have joined Google in pursuit of the CRM maker.

+ Let me get this straight… Amazon can’t deliver a package with drones, but Archer is going to be flying electric air taxis in the Bay Area next year. Archer Aviation mooned 17.3% after announcing plans for a SF Mobility Network (read: it inked a memorandum of understanding with some potential landing spots).

“Alexa, cancel my Alexa subscription.”

“Alexa, how can we get even fewer people to use you?”

Amazon (+1.6%) has an idea so crazy… that it probably won’t work. According to some snitches on the inside (who will probably be drawn and quartered by Andy Jassy when they’re found out), Amazon is planning to make Alexa a paid subscription product.

Users would be able to choose from one of two tiers, with the “elite” version of the voice assistant coming with a ~$5-a-month price tag.

Amazon leadership has been pushing for an August release date.

What will you get for $5?

The company that pioneered pissing in bottles will give Alexa a makeover for the first time in more than a decade. The platform has been largely unchanged since it launched in 2024… which is probably why it’s in desperation mode.

As you might have guessed, it will roll out an AI-powered Alexa in the next few months. Yes, OpenAI did that last month… just without the hardware.

Y tho?

Well, certainly not because anyone asked…

The new (paid) model probably has something to do with Alexa just setting piles of cash on fire. It has yet to turn a profit or really ever come close.

The move could also help Amazon keep up with the likes of OpenAI. Of course, Amazon does have one massive advantage it hopes to capitalize on: it claims to have more than 500M Big Brother Echo devices in homes around the world.

+ The FTC has entered the chat…

It appears that OpenAI is in the M&A Goldilocks zone. Too flush with cash to not spend it… but not big enough to catch the attention of regulators who have effectively banned big techs from gobbling up smaller competitors.

On Friday, OpenAI said it is acquiring Rockset, a “database analytics firm." Translation? Its tech makes AI even faster and more powerful by optimizing search.

The two didn’t disclose a purchase price, but in August of last year, Rockset said it had raised more than $105M to date.

+ Don’t freak out, but the “living wills” of four of the biggest banks in the US are riddled with “shortcomings” according to the Federal Reserve and FDIC. The living wills are plans detailing how the banks would wind down, in case they aren’t too big to fail after all. The rules came into effect post-2008 financial crisis.

The 4 culprits (JPM, Bank of America, Goldman, and Citi) have until next summer to right their wrongs. Noticeably absent from the list of offenders? Wells Fargo…

+ Your pretentious friend who makes their Amex (+0.07%) card their entire personality just got a little more insufferable. The charge card company bought booking platform Tock for $400M from Squarespace. The deal will give it exclusive access to more than 7k partner restaurants. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s basically a copy-paste of its Resy acquisition.

+ Desperate times call for desperate measures, amirite, Tim Cook?

Rumor has it that Apple (-1.0%) is in discussion with Meta (-1.3%) to implement the Threads-maker’s large language models into the Apple Intelligence ecosystem.

The discussions shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, considering Apple has tried to spin zone its tardiness to the AI party by rolling out “AI for the masses” by way of its own “smaller language models” and a partnership with OpenAI.

+ 4 ways to earn extra cash this summer, from people whose side hustles bring in $100,000 or more a year (Read)

+ Home prices hit record high in May as sales stall (Read)

+ The No. 1 trait that sets highly successful people apart, says Harvard expert: ‘It’s rare to find’ (Read)

⏪ On Friday, we were keeping an eye on the super volatile triple witching day. You can check out all the details above…

⏩ Not a whole lot on the radar today…

Yesterday, I asked, “What's the best summer Friday activity (think: skip work to do this)?”

Golf (technically) won by a mile. But I think day drinking was the real winner because pretty much every comment was about day drinking while doing any summer Friday activity.

Here’s today’s question…

Since it’s the first Summer Friday of the year…

Before you go…

I feel so bad for the Hawk Tuah girl’s parents…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.