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Hey there weekday warriors,

Shout out to everyone who’s applied to become a part-time writer and work alongside me in building The Water Coolest. I’m accepting applications for a few more days. You can apply right now to help me build the best damn newsletter on the internet.

Also, if you sent an email with an application, please fill out the form above as some of the emails have been hitting my spam or have gotten lost in my inbox.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 39 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ US stocks “closed mixed on Wednesday as investors weighed fresh consumer inflation data that looked to keep the Federal Reserve on pace for another rate cut next month.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “was little changed Wednesday as investors assessed a key inflation reading that came in as expected.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “rebounded on Wednesday, settling higher on short-covering a day after they fell near a two-week low on OPEC's reduced demand forecast, but crude's gains were limited as the dollar hit a seven-month high.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “has shown no signs of slowing down, as the world's largest crypto asset recently traded above $93,000 for the first time in its history.” (Investopedia)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla +0.5% 2) Intuitive Machines +13.0% 3) Rocket Lab +28.4%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Turns out that without an auditor, it’s awfully tough to produce financial statements. A few months after delaying its 10K while it gets its sh*t together, Super Micro Computer said it is delaying its 10Q for the most quarter. Shares fell 6.3% on the news.

+ Cava is coming for Chipotle’s crown. The overpriced, Mediterranean fast-casual slow bowl chain put up another huge quarter, beating easily on the top and bottom lines. Shares closed up 1.5% a day after reporting earnings.

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Temuzon

Amazon (+2.4%) just went all "I don't want to play with you anymore" to its top secret fertility tracking product (I'm not sure exactly wtf that is, but at this point, I'm too afraid to ask). The company will shutter the project immediately and lay off a group of employees.

It was part of Amazon's internal "Grand Challenge" incubator. Perhaps they should challenge themselves to create some good Amazon Prime original content.

News that the company is pulling the plug on the product that gives major Handmaid's Tale vibes shouldn't come as a total shock given AMZN's history with devices. Its Alexa line of business (a category it literally invented) has struggled to actually make money. And who can forget the Fire Phone?

But, cheer up soon-to-be-former Amazon employees. The company introduced a website that might help while you're on a tight budget “between jobs…”

Amazon launched "Haul" yesterday. The site is Andy Jassy's answer to Temu and Shein... just in case product quality wasn't sh*tty enough for you on regular Amazon.

It will look and feel a whole lot like Temu, and nothing will cost more than $20. And the best part… each purchase comes with the tears of the child laborer who manufactured it.

The biggest difference vs. regular Amazon is you might need to wait 1–2 weeks for your cheap products to arrive from China.

+ Oh, you thought your portfolio was complicated because your 401k is with Fidelity and your brokerage is at WeBull?

Try being billionaire John Malone (no relation to Karl). The "cable cowboy" just spun off some of Liberty Media's (-2.3%) assets into a separate publicly traded company called Liberty Live. Still with me?

Liberty Media will remain the holding company of F1 and MotoGP. Think: the TKO Holdings of motorsports. Oh, and the 83-year-old is going full Logan Roy (refusing to give up control/love his kids) by becoming the temporary CEO of the “new” Liberty Media.

The spinoff, Liberty Live, will hold a large stake in Live Nation and other live (duh) event companies.

Oh, and if that wasn't all hard enough to follow, Liberty Broadband is being acquired by Charter Communications as part of a separate acquisition.

+ Imagine telling you from 6 months ago that CPI would be a nothingburger.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, prices jumped just 0.2% in October, meaning the year-over-year inflation figure was 2.6%. Friendly reminder: J-Poww’s inflation goal is 2%.

+ Stop trying to make buy now, pay later happen…

Despite 2020 calling and wanting its fintech innovation back, Klarna has filed confidentially for a US IPO. The Swedish BNPL will reportedly seek a valuation near $20B.

That’s bad news for all the investors who ponied up cash at a $45B valuation in 2021. Bring me back.

+ Hand up, I owe OBJ an apology. And probably the President of El Salvador too…

Bitcoin continues to absolutely rip in the aftermath of Donny Politics election. It hit $93k at one point on Wednesday.

+ AMD (-3.0%) is making a blood sacrifice in hopes of appeasing the semiconductor gods…

The chipmaker said it’s laying off about 4% of its workforce. Despite being the Nvidia of the CPU market (sucks to suck, Intel), AMD still lags Jensen Huang’s $3T behemoth in the AI GPU game. That’s kept its stock price in check. AMD is roughly flat on the year.

+ The price of bitcoin is soaring. Here’s a key move for investors to reduce future crypto taxes. Have you considered not paying them?

+ The Best Amazon Tiny Homes for Less Than $50,000: Inside the DIY Dwellings Taking the Internet by Storm. I think I’d rather live in the Amazon box it came in.

🔥 CEO who manages $2 billion in assets: The No. 1 most important thing you can do to increase your earning power over your career. I cannot believe it wasn’t “take credit for colleagues good ideas.”

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Yesterday, Cisco dropped earnings after the close. Plus, we got October inflation data.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Disney, JD.com, and Bilibili report before the bell

+ Applied Materials, AST SpaceMobile, and Oklo drop earnings after the close

+ It's Q3 13F deadline day

+ October Producer Price Index data drops

+ J-Poww speaks in Dallas

Yesterday, I asked, “If you had to eat one Lunchable for a week straight, which would it be?”

1. Pepperoni pizza

2. Ham & cheddar

3. Turkey & American

Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…

• Ham & cheddar: “The Palm Springs airport has these in one of their little food marts. Have brought me back to life on flights after some legendary hangovers."

• Turkey & American: “It's the GOAT for a reason, and now as an adult I won't need help opening my capri su-DAMMIT I bent the straw again...MOM!”

• Pepperoni pizza: “The actual correct answer is nachos, but out of the options here, you've gotta go pepperoni pizza.” The real ones wrote in 'discontinued hot dog' Lunchables.

• Turkey & American: “And now I'm curious as to whether the ingredients in the "cheddar" are any different than the often demonized "American."

And here’s today’s question…

Jett got Pookie a $35k push present. So…

+ For some reason, Zuck sang Lil Jon’s “Get Low” with T-Pain

🔥 Believe me when I tell you we DO NOT have to worry about the robots taking over…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.