Amazon doing Amazon things… and it’s only fitting markets closed out a brutal month with a brutal day. Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 6 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “closed in a sea of red on Tuesday to close Wall Street's worst month of 2024, as new labor data came in hotter than expected while investors await the Federal Reserve's upcoming interest rate decision and digest strong earnings from Amazon.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “advanced on Tuesday, after data on labor costs rose more than forecasted while traders awaited news out of the Federal Reserve meeting." (CNBC)

+ Oil “fell 1% on Tuesday, extending losses from Monday, on the back of rising U.S. crude production, as well as hopes of an Israel-Hamas ceasefire.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “tumbled below $60,000 with what appeared to be a poor debut of spot ETFs in Hong Kong and interest rate fears giving traders plenty of reason to sell on Tuesday.” (Investing.com)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Amazon -3.2% / +1.2% after hours 2) AMD -1.1% / -6.9% after hours 3) Super Micro Computer -3.5% / -10.1% after hours

The market moves you need to know about…

– Sometimes it really do be like that. Chegg collapsed 27.8% after sharing a disappointing outlook. Turns out students are just using ChatGPT instead of using online education resources.

+ The DEA had the coolest thing ever on 4/20 and absolutely blew it. Rumors are swirling that the Drug Enforcement Agency is set to reclassify marijuana as a less dangerous drug. That sent shares of devil’s lettuce producers to the moon. Tilray gained 39.8% on the day.

– Super Micro Computer plummeted 10.1% in extended trading after reporting an earnings miss. Investors didn’t seem to care about solid top-line guidance.

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Amazon (-3.2% / +1.2% after hours) CEO Andy Jassy is channeling his inner Jeffrey Commerce (no word on if he plans to divorce his wife and get more shredded than Billy Blanks circa 1999…)

The e-comm giant, which has yet to fulfill its promise of delivering our packages via drone (people don’t forget), just reported a top and bottom line beat.

Oh, and it managed to triple its net income vs. the same period last year. Which probably has to sting a little bit for the 27k employees who were sacrificed to create thiccer margins.

Zooming in…

What it lacks in the ability to run a just walk out store, Amazon more than makes up for in cloud services capabilities.

AWS continues to print money (and make Google Cloud its b*tch). Amazon Web Services sales jumped 17% vs. just 12% expected.

Management said that AWS demand is ramping back up after a slowdown in spend among customers. And it’s largely driven by… you guessed it… AI.

Looking forward

The Mag 7’s outlook for the current quarter was kind of a letdown, though.

AMZN said it expects revenue growth of 7% to 11%. The Street was hoping for closer to 12%. “It’s called making sandbagging, look it up.” - Andy Jassy, probably

+ Imagine thinking the people of Walmart want to treat their bodies like a temple…

Wally World (-1.4%) is reversing course on its plans to dive deeper into healthcare. It’s closing all 51 of its ‘Health Centers’ and its telehealth biz. The company cited growing healthcare costs and reimbursement challenges.

Have no fear, Walmart faithful… your local supercenter’s pharmacy and vision center aren’t going anywhere. This is great news if your idea of a nice little Saturday is getting all hopped up on Ambien and passing out in the electronics section of your nearest WMT store.

+ Define “degenerate”…

Starting in the next few months, Dave & Buster’s (-0.1%) patrons will be able to bet on arcade games participate in “real-money contests” at 100s of locations. Via the D&B app, participants will be able to wager $5 on the Hot Shots basketball game, Skee-Ball, and other games.

The Chuck E. Cheese for adults is hoping the friendly wagers will help increase traffic and encourage downloads of its rewards app.

+ In April, consumers were about as confident about the economy as I am that my parents are proud of my life choices. According to the Conference Board, the consumer confidence index just hit its lowest level since 2022.

Per the board, "Consumers became less positive about the current labor market situation, and more concerned about future business conditions, job availability, and income.” Oh, so everything?

+ Changpeng Zhao will join his fellow crypto founder, SBF, in lock-up, trying not to drop the soap.

He was sentenced to 4 months in prison for enabling money laundering on his crypto exchange. CZ failed to implement any sort of controls to ensure sketchy money wasn’t flowing through the brokerage. Apparently, that’s frowned upon.

Sure, that’s bad, but shouldn’t we give him some credit for outing SBF?

+ ‘Sell in May and go away’ is a catchy adage, but probably not a good idea (Read)

+ Hands Down Some of the Best Credit Cards for Balance Transfers (Read)

+ Treasury Department announces new Series I bond rate of 4.28% for the next six months (Read)

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Yesterday, earnings reports from McDonald’s, Eli Lilly, Starbucks, AMD, Amazon, and Super Micro Computer were on our radar. Here’s how they did…

+ McDonald’s (+0.2%) reported mixed earnings this AM. It beat on the top line and missed on the bottom. And the poors are to blame. McD’s management pointed out that consumers are thinking more carefully about if and where they spend their money.

+ Eli Lilly (+5.9%) shares jumped after the company raised its guidance, thanks mostly to its weight loss drugs.

+ Starbucks (-11.5% after hours) just put on a masterclass on how to disappoint investors. Shares fell after the coffee chain reported a brutal miss on the top and bottom lines.

+ “That don’t impress me much.” - Shania Twain and AMD (-6.9% after hours) investors. Despite a top and bottom line beat, plus in-line Q2 guidance, shares tumbled. Expectations are sky-high for chip stonks at the moment.

+ Check out more on Amazon and Super Micro Computer above…

Here's what we’re keeping an eye on today...

+ Mastercard, Pfizer, CVS, and Marriott report this AM

+ Qualcomm, DoorDash, Carvana, Zillow, and Etsy report after the close

+ Viking Holdings is expected to IPO… because just what markets need is another cruise line

+ The FOMC meeting wraps up, which means we get a rate hike decision as well as a press conference from J-Poww.

Yesterday I asked… What’s your go-to pizza move?

75% of you said local pizza joint. That is the ONLY correct answer.

Here’s today’s question…

Dave & Busters has 220 locations in the US (and Canada) and claims to have 30M unique customers per year…

Oh, and…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional