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Hey there weekday warriors,

It was a big weekend for Disney adults. And let’s recap the market’s wild week.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ “Higher trading on Friday capped a major comeback on Wall Street as late-stage gains largely wiped away Monday's heavy losses, ending a turbulent week with a high note.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “was lower Friday as investors continued to assess the state of the U.S. economy after labor data buoyed sentiment.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled higher on Friday and notched over 3.5% in weekly gains as positive economic data and signals from Fed policymakers that they could cut interest rates as early as September eased demand concerns, while fears of a widening Middle East conflict continue to raise supply risks.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin stumbled late Sunday after hovering around $60k for most of the weekend.

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -0.2% 2) JD.com -0.3% 3) C3.ai +0.4%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ “Ok, hear me out: steak.” Sweetgreen’s decision to add beef to its menu is paying off. In its most recent quarter, the overpriced salad chain beat the Street’s expectations easily, while cutting its loss in half. Oh, and it hiked guidance for the second time this year. SG mooned 33.3% on Friday.

+ Investors didn’t seem phased by Expedia’s warning about “a more challenging macro environment and a slowdown in travel demand.” Shares popped 10.2% after a top and bottom line beat.

+ Imagine telling someone in 2020 that Nikola would have “robust truck demand.” Nikola shares rose 8.2% after the company reported that it delivered more trucks than expected. To be fair, that was only 72 vehicles…

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Big DIS Energy

This weekend was the Super Bowl for Disney adults…

The House of Mouse held its biennial D23 fan conference that’s a mix of Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference and Comic Con… except all the after-hours orgies are Disney-themed.

On Saturday, Disney (+0.2%) lifted the lid on what it has planned for its parks over the next decade. You might recall that last year it had announced a $60B investment, but was tight-lipped on the details… until now.

Ok, so what’s it got up its sleeve (…in addition to getting rid of all the racist stuff)?

The Magic Kingdom in Florida is getting a massive “land” devoted to villains, which honestly seems pretty on-brand for Florida. In addition to the heel turn, Florida’s Disney outpost will get a Cars-themed area. To put the expansion in perspective… together, those attractions will be the largest expansion ever at the Magic Kingdom.

Meanwhile, in Cali, DIS will make massive upgrades to the Avenger’s Campus and build out a Coco-themed world. Plus, Disneyland will get an animatronic Walt Disney to celebrate the park’s 70th anniversary. No word on how lifelike it will be (read: if it will shout bigoted stuff).

And just in case you thought, “Gee, I sure wish there was an even more miserable way to spend my hard-earned money on a Disney vacation,” they’ve got you covered. The company announced it has plans to add 4 new cruise ships. That’s in addition to the 4 already in development, and the 5 already at sea.

But it wasn’t just Disney adults that were fully bricked up. The attractions will likely be music to investor’s ears. When Disney reported last week, it shared a disappointing quarter for parks and a pretty bleak outlook.

In recent years, it was the parks biz that had put the company on its back.

+ The markets just got their 2017 New England Patriots on. The S&P 500 pulled off the economic equivalent of coming back from being down 28-3 in the third quarter…

Despite having its worst day since 2022 on Monday, the S&P 500 managed to close flat on the week. Most of the gainz came on Thursday following a pretty encouraging jobless claims report. The broad index jumped 2.3% on Thursday and added another 0.5% on Friday.

+ You might’ve had a sh*tty Friday, but it could have been a whole lot worse…

Networking giant Cisco (-0.7%) is reportedly slashing ~4k jobs, while Stellantis (the company that makes Jeep, Dodge, Ram, etc.) is parting ways with ~2.5k union employees.

This is Cisco’s second tranche of job cuts in the year of our lord 2024. February’s round was a similar size. The changes are part of the equipment maker’s plan to focus on more lucrative lines of biz like AI and cybersecurity.

Stellantis (-1.3%) will cut nearly 2,500 employees at its Warren, Michigan plant, as it plans to discontinue an older version of its Ram 1500 pickup later this year. Christmas is about to be bleak af in Warren this year…

+ “Hollup, let them cook…” - every Starbucks’ investor

Shares of the #1 employer of blue-haired art history majors popped after hours on Friday. News broke late in the day that activist investor Starboard Value had taken an undisclosed stake in Starbucks (-0.8% // +3.3% after hours).

Starboard joins Elliott Management as a major shareholder of SBUX, with the goal of returning the coffee chain to its former glory. Shares are down nearly 20% YTD. Elliott is reportedly seeking board seats, while it’s still unclear if Starboard will (spoiler: they will).

Oh, and…

+ Trump Media reports $16 million loss for quarter as revenue falls. It’s honestly impressive that TRUTH Social only managed to make $836,900 in 3 months…

+ JPMorgan Chase is giving its employees an AI assistant powered by ChatGPT maker OpenAI. Jamie Dimon knows they can just use CharGPT for free, right?

+ Wall Street bonuses could surge by up to 35% in 2024 as deal-making rebounds: report. This is bullish for Zyn and Sweetgreen.

+ What is the best time of year to buy a house? Spoiler: when houses are cheapest.

+ $1 million starter homes are common in more than 100 towns in America, Zillow data shows. All the boomers be like I paid $75 and a bushel of cabbage for my 4k square foot waterfront property.

+ I’m 37 Years Old, and I Haven’t Saved Nearly Enough for Retirement. What Do I Do? Give up.

+ Credit card experts identified a card that is perfect for anyone looking to pay down debt. *Dave Ramsey has entered the chat*

🔥 Inside the hard-partying, big-spending world of Wall Street’s summer interns. Spoiler: a bunch of 21-year-olds with too much money drink excessively and make questionable decisions in NYC.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Friday, Canopy Growth & Nikola reported before the bell.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Barrick Gold and Monday.com report in the morning

+ Rumble reports after the close

Yesterday, I asked you guys to reply to this email with “SUP.”

“Sup” right back at you all. Thanks for helping me defeat the email gods that try to send TWC to the promotions tab.

Here’s today’s question…

I was on a long drive this weekend and there was someone in front of me trolling everyone with Waze. For those of you unfamiliar with Waze, it’s a maps app that has a social aspect. It crowdsources what’s happening on the road in real time (i.e. if there is a cop ahead, you enter it into the app and it alerts everyone else).

Welp, someone in front of me kept warning that there were “unplowed roads ahead,” “icy conditions” (it was like 85 degrees), and “a multi-car pileup." Just a great reminder that the internet is awesome. Also, got me thinking…

+ Stavros Halkias take on big tech is *chef’s kiss* (IG)

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.