TOGETHER WITH

Today, we’re getting into Lululemon vs. Costco, the Senate approves the Trump spending bill, and Figma is going public. But first...

In the July 2, 2024 edition of The Water Coolest (and all the July 2nds before that), we reflected on Bobby Bonilla Day (read: July 1st).

Yesterday, former MLB player Bobby Bonilla collected a check from the NY Mets for $1,193,248.20. Just like he has every year since 2011… and just like he will every year through 2035.

The deal was part of a $5.9M buyout of Bonilla’s contract in 2000. The Mets agreed to pay Bobby $1.19M per year for 25 years beginning in 2011 as part of a deferred payment arrangement.

Why, you ask? Because at the time, the Met’s owners were investing with Bernie Madoff (yes, that Bernie Madoff), which was pretty much printing cash. To be fair, the math checks out, given Madoff’s (too good to be true) returns averaged north of 10%.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone you’d split a Costco $1.50 hot dog combo with. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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I ain’t passed the bar, but I know a little bit…

And Lululemon $LULU ( ▲ 1.76% ) needs to fire whatever Kirkland Signature lawyer they found on a billboard who convinced them this lawsuit was a good idea…

The brand that made athleisure a thing has lawyered up and filed suit against the home of the double chunk chocolate cookie.

So, what bone do they have to pick?

LULU is butthurt that Costco $COST ( ▼ 1.69% ) is ripping off some of its “iconic” designs and infringing on its patents.

The suit calls out Costco for working directly with its manufacturers to make similar pieces of clothing… and selling them for much, much cheaper. For example, Costco is selling a poor man’s Hi-Tec Men’s Scuba Full Zip for $19.97. Lulu’s authentic version retails for more than $100.

But the company that thinks it invented yoga pants didn’t stop there. It says Costco doesn’t do enough to clarify any ambiguity about the similar products… and I cannot wait for free samples of DEFINITELY NOT LULULEMON ABC Pants during my next Costco run.

What’s next?

Lulu is hoping to force Costco to stop selling dupes of its bestsellers (plus some monetary damages for its troubles, of course).

This isn’t the yoga pant maker’s first time accusing a competitor of getting its copy-paste on. It sued Peloton for releasing eerily similar gear.

Fun fact: just a few years later, Lululemon and Peloton ended up entering into an apparel partnership. So, by that logic, the Costco Guys x Peloton Collection is about to get 5 big booms…

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+ Br*zzers be like “One Big Beautiful Bill Gangb*nged In All Night Session (100+ Participants!)…”

After a 24-hour “vote-a-rama,” the Senate approved Donny Politics’ budget and spending bill (read: the legislation formerly known as the ‘One Big Beautiful Bill’). VP Vance broke a 50-50 tie. But that might have been the easy part…

Now it heads back to the House for another vote. Before you go all “didn’t the House already give the bill the green light?”… yes, but given the significant redlines, the House of Representatives will need to have another look. And this time around, getting the votes needed is expected to be more difficult.

+ The UI/UX software for people who have a graphic design degree and think Canva is an affront to their “art” is planning to test the public markets…

Figma filed for an IPO and plans to list under the ticker symbol FIG… which is presumably only available because Fig Newton is owned by Nabisco.

Adobe tried to acquire Figma for $20B back in 2023 until the Buzz Killingtons in the EU effectively killed the deal over antitrust concerns.

But it appears that Europe’s regulators did Figma a solid (and not just because of the $1B breakup fee Adobe had to pay). Figma is currently growing without regard for human life. In Q1, sales jumped 46%. And the number of clients spending more than $100k annually on the platform rose 47%.

BONUS: TWC was lucky enough to score exclusive footage of a design student at the local community college mansplaining why “Figma is GOATed.”

+ Your wife: “So you gambled our child’s college fund on Jesus returning in 2025 via Polymarket?”

You: “I think that’s right.”

J-Poww finally said what we all knew. During a panel discussion yesterday, he was asked if the Fed would have already lowered rates again in 2025 if it wasn’t for tariffs. His response? “I think that’s right.”

+ Imagine having to tell your future children you met their mother by sliding into her Threads DM… *throws up in mouth a little bit*

Although it isn’t entirely clear why, Zuck is still trying to make Threads a thing. And he’s even investing in new features. Like DMs.

But bad news for shady characters hoping the DMs are going to be a cesspool of d*ck pics and crypto offers like Twitter. You’ll only be able to DM users who follow you back or are mutual followers on IG (remember: it’s technically Instagram Threads).

Oh, and Threads is rolling out highlights… which sounds a lot like Twitter’s Trending… mostly because it is. The major difference is that it will be in the feed and be, well, highlighted (literally).

+ US stocks “were mixed on Tuesday as President Trump's massive budget bill passed in the Senate and Wall Street watched for progress on trade talks.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “rose Tuesday after Senate Republicans passed their version of the White House’s gigantic tax-and-spending legislation, threatening to add at least $3 trillion to the federal deficit over the next decade.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices edged higher on Tuesday as investors took stock of positive demand indicators, while also treading cautiously ahead of an OPEC+ meeting to decide the group’s August output policy.” (Reuters)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Constellation Brands reported after the close

+ Car companies began reporting their quarterly delivery #s

+ J-Poww participated in a panel discussion at an ECB Forum

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Universal Pictures' Jurassic World Rebirth will open in the U.S.

Yesterday, I asked, “Live in your dream house without AC or live in a pretty mediocre house with AC?”

56.7% of you said “Dream home (No AC).”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Same…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.