Hey there weekday warriors,

(TLDR: Please complete this survey. It’ll help shape the future of TWC.)

Just two days left to complete the TWC survey. Appreciate everyone who’s already taken a few minutes to do it.

And since I know your time is valuable, I’m giving a $250 Amazon gift card to one random person who completes the short survey this week.

In addition to treating yo self, you can sleep easy knowing your input will give me valuable insight into everything from the types of content you want to see, to how I should monetize TWC 2.0.

Thanks in advance, all.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks "ended higher Wednesday following a slump in Treasury yields after the Federal Reserve kept rates steady for a second-straight meeting." (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield "fell to two-week lows on Wednesday after the Federal Reserve left interest rates steady but left the door open to a further increase in borrowing costs." (Reuters)

+ Oil "eased about 1% to a three-week low on a rising U.S. dollar and after the U.S. Federal Reserve kept interest rates steady as expected but noted it would keep the door open to possible future rate hikes due to a strong U.S. economy." (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin was little changed following the FOMC meeting. (Coindesk)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24-hours were: 1) AMD +9.69% 2) Nvidia +3.79% 3) PayPal -0.27%.

+ ICYMI, on Tuesday, we discussed Meta’s new premium subscription in Europe. I asked Are you all bullish or bearish on META over the next 12 months? Here are the results…

Commenting for reach

At long last (21 year, but who’s counting?) LinkedIn has joined the three-comma club. Of course, approximately 900M of those “users” are bots sliding into your DMs asking if you’re happy with your current payroll technology…

It appears that all that “commenting for reach” has paid off. LinkedIn announced that it topped 1B users worldwide on Wednesday. But it wasn’t all Mylar balloons and sad office parties at LinkedIn HQ. The Microsoft-owned site dropped a bunch of new AI capabilities to celebrate.

What kind of AI tool?

Think: the lovechild of Clippy and that girl you went to college with who went through a messy breakup and came out the other side as a “career and life coach.”

Some Premium users (not me, smdh) have already gotten access to a chatbot that will act like a career counselor. For example, jobseekers will be prompted to ask questions like “Am I a good fit for this job?” if they are viewing a job opening.

The bot will also bring you down a notch by pointing out reasons you’re not the ideal candidate for a certain job, just in case you don’t have someone in your life who loves you enough to point out all of your flaws in excruciating detail.

And what would a LinkedIn AI tool be without networking capabilities? The tech will help you identify connections at targeted companies and prompt you to ask them things like “what’s your favorite part of working at XYZ Co.?” or… “what’s the company policy on masturbation in the lactation room… I mean, something’s getting milked, amirite… lol?”

I hate to break it to you, but…

LinkedIn probably (read: really) doesn’t actually give a sh*t about you landing a job. Besides, everyone knows the only way to get a good job is the old-fashioned way: nepotism.

The AI play is twofold:

1) It helps justify that $10B Microsoft invested in OpenAI (the maker of ChatGPT) 2) It could help boost engagement, which, spoiler, can lead to revenue growth…

You see, LinkedIn revenue has stalled over the past… couple of years. Revenue growth has shrunk for 8 quarters and counting…

+ Tips for House Hunters Frustrated With Frozen Real Estate Market (Read)

+ IRS announces 2024 retirement account contribution limits (Read)

+ DoorDash warns no-tip orders might take longer (Read)​

+ ICYMI yesterday... Treasury Department announces new Series I bond rate for the next six months (Read)

+ The perfect merger doesn’t exi—

Rumors are swirling that Six Flags and Cedar Fair are balls-deep in merger discussions… again.

The two park operators have taken their lumps as consumers pump the brakes on discretionary spending. They’ve both underperformed the United States Leisure & Recreation Price Return Index by like 15%. Woof. The thought is that two crappy companies could make one really mediocre one that (might) weather the storm.

Shares of both companies rose 6% on the news. But, we’ve seen this movie before. The rollercoaster tycoons appeared to be this close to a deal in 2019, but failed to get it over the finish line. (Read)

+ We just got one of those Fed meetings that could have been an email. As expected, the Central Bank held the Federal Funds Rate steady at between 5.25% and 5.5%. And while J-Poww didn’t exactly give us much to work with during his presser, markets seem to think the Fed is done raising for 2023. Exhibit A: stonks moved higher during and after Jay’s speech. (Read)

+ Given the sheer volume of Airbnb arbitrage gurus (all multi-millionaires, btw) hawking courses on the internet, it’s honestly shocking that the hospitality company didn’t have a better quarter. Airbnb reported a beat on the top and bottom lines for Q3, but shares still tumbled 3% after hours. Turns out, investors don’t like when the company’s estimates come in below the Street’s expectations for the current quarter. *Airbnb immediately hikes “cleaning fees”* (Read)

+ Despite its failings (as recently pointed out by Elon Musk), PayPal had itself a Q3. Not only did it beat on the top and bottom lines, but it raised its full-year profit projections. Shares rose almost 4% after hours. (Read​)

+ No surprise here, but Disney said it’s going to buy Comcast’s 1/3 stake in Hulu for $8.6B. Hulu, which began as a joint venture between Fox and Comcast (and eventually Disney) will now be fully owned by the House of Mouse. Shares of DIS hardly moved on the news, because, well, we’ve been talking about this since before Hulu had live sports. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Apple, Booking Holdings, Carvana, Coinbase, ConocoPhillips, Duke Energy, Moderna, Molson Coors, Palantir, and Starbucks report

Yesterday I asked What was the best Halloween costume of the year?

In case you’ve been living under a rock/in a k-hole for the past 6 days, this costume won Halloween, and it wasn’t particularly close…

If you’re confused, this video should clear things up.

Here's today's question...

Mariah Carey's ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ is on repeat, which means the countdown to the holidays is officially on. And this year I’m bringing back the TWC gift guide. So…

What’s on your holiday wish list (or something you recently bought that other weekday warriors will love)?

Respond directly to this email (PS, links make my life easier) and keep an eye out for the gift guide.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of a God-fearing family man with sh*t-for-brains. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.