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Hey there weekday warrior,
Zuck just copied Elon’s homework. To be fair, there are worse people to cheat off of…
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 31 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “reversed early gains to close firmly lower as cautious investors weighed new economic data, while Nvidia (NVDA) retreated from its record close despite the company's big artificial intelligence plans.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “rose on Tuesday after economic data suggested services inflation is proving hard to tame.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices settled higher on Tuesday, driven by concerns over limited supply from Russia and Iran because of Western sanctions and expected higher Chinese demand.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin took its lumps on Tuesday.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -6.2% 2) Carvana +5.0% 3) C3.ai -3.0%
The market moves you need to know about…
– Flutter Entertainment shares fell 1.2% after *checks notes* gamblers won too much. The US sports betting company had a tough Q4 at the track. NFL Parlay and Same Game Parlay gamblers made it rain during a quarter that was “the most customer-friendly in nearly two decades.”
+ Honda stock jumped 1.7% after announcing 2 new all-electric models, a sedan and an SUV. The new EVs will be built at the Honda Ohio plant and hit the market in early 2026. Honda plans to release 30 total new EV models by 2030 and phase gas guzzlers out entirely in North America by 2040. Who’s going to tell them they don’t have to do that anymore?
This Tech Company Grew 32,481%…
No, it’s not Nvidia… it's Mode Mobile, last year's fastest-growing software company, according to Deloitte.
Mode’s disruptive $martphone, has already helped consumers earn and save $325M+ through simple, everyday use. That led to 32,481% revenue growth between 2019 and 2022, and presence in 170+ countries. Turning smartphones from an expense into an income stream, Mode is disrupting the $1 trillion smartphone industry, like Uber did with taxis and Airbnb with hotels.
They've just been granted the stock ticker $MODE by the Nasdaq, and you can still invest in their pre-IPO offering at just $0.26/share.
Community noted
*Zuck begins Trump dancing*
Mark Zuckerberg is Making Meta (-1.9%) Great Again. After naming UFC CEO Dana White to the Meta Board on Monday, Zuckerbot announced that FB’s third-party fact-checkers are officially canceled.
Instead, Meta is doing what it does best: copying someone else’s homework (see: stealing Facebook from the Winklevii, ripping off TikTok, creating Threads, etc.)
Zuck plans to build a version of X’s popular Community Notes system. Users will directly contribute context to posts, which means all those “Nice try, Diddy” comments in your Insta feed could become a legitimate part of the national conversation. Fingers crossed.
The move will also allow for political content and discussion to return to Facebook and Instagram, with less moderation. Plus, restrictions on subjects like immigration and gender will be lifted… and J. K. Rowling is about to go full send.
This is a big f*cking deal considering just four short years ago Donny Politics was banned from Facebook and Instagram following the January 6 riot.
It appears that the only thing Zuck wants more than to be a real boy is to get in the good graces of the incoming President.
In addition to the board appointments and yesterday’s platform change, Zuck also installed former GOP staffer Joel Kaplan as head of Meta’s global policy and donated $1M to the Trump inaugural fund.
Your move, libs.
+ Getty Images (+24.1%) is buying Shutterstock (+14.8%) for $3.7B… or the approximate licensing fee of one photo on Getty…
The visual content companies (which I’m pretty sure puts them in the same category as Feet Finder) will combine forces to help delay the inevitable: being rekt by AI image generators.
It’s probably not a coincidence that the deal came to fruition less than two weeks before the end of the Biden administration. The current FTC would have killed this deal quicker than Lina Khan could say “Sherman Antitrust Act.”
+ “When life gives you Charged Lemonade, just say f*ck the lemons and bail.” - Panera Brands CEO
It’s been a rough ride for Panera Brands (the parent company of Panera Bread, Caribou Coffee, and Einstein Bros.) over the last few years. Spoiler: its caffeinated lemonade literally killed people.
So it shouldn't come as a total shock that CEO Jose Dueñas is “stepping down.” Not only does Jose have blood on his hands, but he’s committed a much more heinous crime: failing to create shareholder value.
You see, the family office that has assembled this conglomerate of carbs has been hoping to take the company public. Despite filing confidentially to IPO in December of ‘23, Dueñas failed to get Panera to the promised land.
+ “There’s no way this day could get any worse.” - OpenAI founder Sam Altman, who is being sued by his sister following years of alleged sexual abuse
Anthropic, the AI startup founded by a handful of OpenAI defectors, is looking to raise a cool $2B at a $60B valuation. The round is being led by Lightspeed Venture Partners, which is a little surprising considering Amazon has hitched its wagon to Anthropic. Friendly reminder: Amazon has already dumped $8B into Temu OpenAI.
+ The only thing Jamie Dimon hates more than Bitcoin is his employees working from home…
JPMorgan is reportedly (strongly) considering making all 300k of its employees come into the office 5 days a week. Probably just a coincidence that it’s about to open its $3B HQ in NYC this year…
+ Federal watchdog bans medical debt from credit reports. So there are no repercussions for never paying for a BBL? Asking for a friend…
🔥 Need to Get Noticed at Work? Do This First. Wear something unforgettable like a Patagonia vest and Lululemon pants.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday McDonald’s launched the McValue menu, because f*ck Ozempic, all my homies hate Ozempic
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Jefferies reports
+ The Fed drops its minutes for the most recent FOMC meeting
Yesterday, I asked, “How many beers is the best amount of beers to drink?”
3
4
6
Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
4: “Little buzz and not a lot of indigestion ”
7: “I can still make my putts but I do not feel the pain in my swing. The tough part is getting to that spot quick enough and then maintaining. I am not so good at the maintaining part. Probably why my back 9 scores are so much higher.”
10+: “Ever hear of a case race?”
8: "I see 3 is winning the poll. Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up!”
5: "4-5 at the pub with the lads. Light beer golf/sports weekend with the boys? Limitless."
9: "Halfway between not enough (6 pack) and likely a night shortened or next day issue (12 pack). I call it moderation, the medical community calls it binge drinking. One of us has to be right”
10+: "busch lattes, but your super heady craft ipa crap is probably 2-3"
6: “They sell sixers for a reason”
And here’s today’s question…
What's the "right" amount of days in the office? |
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.