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Hey there weekday warriors,

Tesla mooned after reporting Q3 earnings… although it’s not really clear why.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 21 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ US stocks “slumped on Wednesday as doubts about rate cuts weighed on investors dealing with a busy day of earnings highlighted by Boeing (BA) and Tesla (TSLA).” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “rose again Wednesday as traders digested the latest comments from Federal Reserve officials on the trajectory of interest rate cuts.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “fell on Wednesday after data showed U.S. crude inventories rose by more than expected even as refining activity rebounded, though futures remained up about 2% this week as traders factored in continuing conflict in the Middle East.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “experiencing a downturn, closely mirroring the decline in the stock market.” (QZ)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla -1.9% // +12.1% after hours 2) Visa -0.3% 3) Nvidia -2.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Define “douche.” David Einhorn told investors he believes Peloton is ‘significantly undervalued’… while riding a Peloton. The stock, which also got a boost yesterday after announcing a partnership with Costco, climbed 10.9% on the day.

– The ‘no one ever got fired for buying IBM’ crowd is punching air right now. Shares of International Business Machines fell 2.4% after reporting a revenue miss, admitting its consulting biz was a bigger letdown than pretty much anyone you meet who works at IBM (seriously, find me an IBM lifer who is fun at parties…)

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Cybercap

Tesla: “We sold a lot of really profitable products.”

Tesla shareholders: “The product you’re talking about is an EV, right? Right?!”

Elon’s EV maker (Tesla -1.9% // +12.1% after hours) reported mixed results yesterday, missing on the top line but beating the Street’s bottom line expectations.

But before you go “at least it’s got that going for it,” keep in mind that $739M of its $2.1B profit can be directly attributed to regulatory credits. You know, the things with a 100% profit margin that investors have historically despised.

Still, shares jumped 12% after hours…

Why?

This may come as a shock to you, but the guy who named his kid Tau Techno Mechanicus (oh, you thought I was going to say X Æ A-Xii?) made some claims the SEC will be investigating soon enough.

Elon said his best guess is that EV deliveries will grow by 20% to 30% next year. To put that in perspective, expectations are that sales will be roughly flat (if not negative) this year. Plus, analysts were expecting just 15% growth (at the top end) for 2025.

And what would an Elon earnings call be without an overly optimistic prediction about technology that literally doesn’t even exist yet? Lon Corleone said we can expect driverless robotaxis in Texas and Cali as soon as next year.

+ Remember the Apple Vision Pro? Me either…

According to sources (read: some of the children who Tim Cook has chained up assembling Apple products) Apple (-2.1%) has cut Vision Pro production significantly. And could call it quits by the end of the year.

Rumor has it that AAPL will revamp the product with a lower price tag. Friendly reminder: Tim Apple’s current VR offering costs $3,500... while Meta's will run you less than $500.

But that probably wasn't why shares of Apple took their lumps. A prominent supply chain analyst (sounds like someone's childhood dreams didn't pan out...), who presumably chatted with the same child laborers, claims Apple cut orders of the iPhone 16 by about 10M units.

+ Just how bad have things gotten at Boeing?

Well, yesterday news broke that one of Boeing’s (-1.7%) satellites (apparently they figured they’d mastered airplanes, so it was time to tackle the next frontier…) exploded in space, and it’s still not entirely clear why. Oh, and the company announced that it lost $6B in the most recent quarter.

Investors went all “That’s it?” Shares fell just 1.7%.

+ Unlike you and your ex-wife, Spirit (45.9%) and Frontier (+1.9%) are talking again…

The two airlines, whose customers are people with little to no self-respect and even less money, have reportedly discussed a “merger" (again). In all likelihood, any deal would be part of a restructuring via bankruptcy. *Kirkland & Ellis has entered the chat*

You might recall that Frontier had agreed to buy Spirit… before JetBlue swooped in. Unfortunately for Spirit, the DOJ blocked that deal, which left teetering on the edge of bankruptcy.

+ Coward.

According to Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett does not endorse political candidates or investment opportunities. Well, except Occidental Petroleum. The company is trying to crack down on the fraudulent use of the Oracle’s name and likeness on the interwebs.

+ Dockworkers are getting a big raise after their strike. Here are 3 other blue-collar jobs that pay six figures. #3 is slinging newsletters.

+ Mark Cuban: If I was 16 again, I’d start this lucrative side hustle. “Being your homies’ plug.”

🔥 IRS announces new federal income tax brackets for 2025. Prepare to feel poor…

🔥 The IRS unveils higher capital gains tax brackets for 2025. *Double checks to make sure it’s for realized gains*

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Yesterday Coca-Cola, Thermo-Fisher, AT&T, Boston Scientific, Boeing, General Dynamics, and Hilton reported before the bell. And Tesla, T-Mobile, IBM, and ServiceNow dropped earnings after hours.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ S&P, Union Pacific, Honeywell, KKR, UPS, Nasdaq, Barclays, Southwest, Hasbro, and American Airlines drop earnings this AM

+ Capital One, L3Harris, Deckers, and Texas Road House report after the close

Yesterday, I asked, “If you get food poisoning from your favorite restaurant, how long until you go back?”

25.6% of you said “never.” Followed by “a few months” and “at least a year.” McDonald's has gotta be super happy it's nobody's favorite restaurant.

Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…

• A month or so: "Depends (I was wearing them)"

• Give it a week: "def going back but not ordering the same thing again"

• Never: "Both the restaurant and the meal are cancelled. I got food poisoning from a Meatball Sub when I was a kid - haven't eaten one in over 20 years." Weak.

• A few months: "Just like my ex, I might need to cool off for a bit but she always finds her way back" Also weak (but in a different way).

And here’s today’s question…

+ The three types of sports owners explained

🔥 Dating… but you have a Neuralink

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.