💦 Debits and credits

And China gets it stimulus on

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Hey there weekday warriors,

The DOJ is coming for Visa’s sorry a**… again.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 34 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

Markets

+ US stocks “rose modestly on Tuesday, with the S&P 500 and Dow Jones Industrial Average notching record closes. Investors digested China's launch of aggressive stimulus and a notable dip in US consumer sentiment.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “hovered near the flatline.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “climbed about 2% to a three-week high on Tuesday on news of monetary stimulus from China, the world's top crude importer, and amid concerns that growing conflict in the Middle East could hit regional supply.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “traded flat on Tuesday as a recent rebound ran out of steam even as capital inflows persisted, with focus turning squarely to a slew of cues on U.S. interest rates due this week.” (Investing)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +3.9% 2) Tesla +1.7% 3) Intuitive Machines -4.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

 Stitch Fix saw ThredUp’s earnings back in August (spoiler: the company had a brutal quarter and has lost more than 50% of its value since the report dropped) and went all ‘hold my beer.’ SFIX reported lower-than-expected revenue and a steep dropoff in customers looking to get overpriced clothes delivered to their doorstep. Oh, and the company doesn’t expect the bleeding to stop anytime soon. Shares fell 23.2% after hours.

+ Mining stocks were among the biggest beneficiaries of China’s stimmy package (see below). One of the big winners was Freeport-McMoran. Shares jumped 7.9% on the day.

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Debits and credits

Barnacles

Source: Giphy

Don’t say there weren’t signs the DOJ was about to come down hard on Visa…

You see, back in July, legislative trading disclosures indicated that Nancy Pelosi’s husband Paul sold more than $500k worth of Visa (-5.4%) shares. Fast forward three months and one antitrust lawsuit later, and that looks like a savvy move. Can you blame him for not wanting to get hammered?

On Tuesday the Justice Department sued Visa, claiming the payment network has created an illegal monopoly by stifling competition in the debit card market.

And now it’s starting to make sense why the company processes ~60% of US debit transactions… which generates $7B in fees, for the record. Imagine using a debit card in the year of our lord 2024…

The DOJ is calling bullsh*t on Visa’s practice of (allegedly) threatening merchants with higher fees if they allow non-Visa payments to grow beyond a certain threshold. As you might have guessed, sellers just pass on the higher fees to poor b*stards like you and I. Uncle Sam claims the f*ckery has cost the human race billions of dollars.

But wait, there’s more.

The fun police also claim that Visa was paying off would-be competitors to make sure they didn’t even think about getting into the debit card payment game. And they weren’t exactly sly about it.

Visa put “non-competes” in writing with the likes of Apple and Square.

Debits and credits

But don’t confuse this antitrust action with the deal Visa and Mastercard cut with the government related to its credit card fees. The two credit card giants agreed to reduce fees by nearly $30B over the next 5 years after decades of overcharging consumers.

This got me thinking… who the f*ck is still using debit cards anyway?

How often are you using a debit card on purchases?

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TS

+ Ya’ll got any more of that stimulus?

China’s Fed just unleashed a huge load of stimulus all over its economy. It’s by far the biggest stimmy package since the People’s Republic released the novel ‘rona virus back in 2020.

To combat its dogsh*t economy, China slashed interest rates and said it would lower its banks’ capital requirements. It also made moves that would help lower mortgage costs.

Everything from luxury goods makers (which are highly dependent on China) to mining companies popped on the news of government intervention.

+ This is the last headline you see before you get laid off from your SaaS job: Blackstone and Vista Equity Partners to acquire software maker Smartsheet for $8.4 billion

Blackstone and Vista are buying the collaborative software maker (… which means nothing to literally anyone outside of Silicon Valley) Smartsheet (+6.4%) for $8.4B. The price is a 41% premium to SMAR’s average closing price over the past 3 months.

It isn’t exactly novel that PE is coming in to scoop up a software maker that hasn’t quite lived up to expectations. Nor is the deal all that surprising considering Smartsheet has been shopping itself for the past few months.

+ Elliott Management calling a ‘special meeting’ for a company is the activist investor equivalent of your significant other saying “We need to talk…”

Elliott said it will look to schedule a special meeting at Southwest Airlines (+0.4%) as soon as next week. Spoiler: they’re probably going to play boar on the floor.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Paul Singer’s Elliott Management is getting its activist investor on at the airline. It’s hoping to clean house by ousting the S-Dub’s CEO and exec chair. Oh, and it would like to add 10 hand-picked members to the board.

+ I bet Caroline Ellison really regrets hiring Cellino & Barnes to represent her.

Despite going full founder snitch mode on her ex-lover/boss, SBF, a judge still handed the Alameda Research CEO 2 years behind bars.

+ On the fence about getting a travel card? This just might be the perfect card for you. It’s time to make credit card miles your entire personality…

+ Mortgage rates dip, giving U.S. homebuyers a huge amount of additional spending power in some U.S. cities. I think society will look back fondly on the times we had to give up our firstborn child to afford a home.

🔥 40-year-old CEO shares the No. 1 red flag she sees in employees—avoiding it is ‘more important than ever’. Believe it or not, the biggest red flag is wearing square-toed shoes to an interview…

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

FWD

⏪ Yesterday, AutoZone reported before the open, and Stitch Fix and KB Home dropped earnings after the close

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Cintas reports before the open

+ Micron drops earnings after the close

+ Meta holds its ‘Connect’ event where it will show off its AI, VR, and metaverse tech

EXIT

Yesterday I asked, “You get $1M per year but you have to eat three hotdogs every day for the rest of your life. If you skip a dog, or quit, you do a year in (white collar) prison. Do you take the deal?”

You guys went all ‘show me the money.’ 73.3% of you are taking the cash (and eating the hot dogs).

Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)

  • Yes: "I don't even like hot dogs and I'm in for this deal."

  • Yes: "I was going to ask questions like, "Are they all beef?" "What are the ingredients?" etc. But then I saw there are no major health consequences. This a no-brainer."

  • Yes: "Call me the Glizzy Gobbler. I want that money." Weird, isn’t that what you were called in college too?

  • No: "Coincidentally, I'm trying to get through a 2lb package of Nathan's 1/4 franks. I've been eating two a day, every other day just to get rid of the remaining dogs. What was a delicious treat has become a chore. 3 dogs a day would be extremely unpleasant. Not worth a 1-year stint in prison. Do prison gangs have rush week? How do you know which one to join?"

  • Yes: "I eat the same thing for lunch every day already, might as well make millions doing it"

  • Yes: "If onlyf*ns models can do this everyday so can I" That’s somebody’s daughter…

  • No: "This sounds like a great deal, no health consequences for crushing glizzies and $1M but I don’t trust myself to remember to eat 3 a day - one hangover and I’m toast"

And here’s today’s questions…

Would you rather have an extra $1 million in retirement savings or 3 more healthy years?

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Oh, and one more thing…

What did you think about today's newsletter?

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FINE

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.