Hey there weekday warrior,

DeepSeek sends its DeepestCondolences to Nvidia shareholders.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 9 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

DeepImpact

“I am going to create an environment that is so toxic” - DeepSeek

Tech stocks (and friends) got put in a body bag Monday after China’s DeepSeek AI assistant stole OpenAI’s lunch money and rocketed to the top of app downloads in the US. 

Last week, DeepSeek released their “R1” model, which can apparently perform at the same level as ChatGPT.

So why did everyone panic sell? Turns out that DeepSeek’s self-reported development bill was a mere $6M. Oh, and it only took 2 months to bring to market. You might recall that US-based AI companies have pissed away hundreds of billions of dollars over the last few decades for similar results…

Nvidia (-16.9%) was out here setting the wrong kinda records. The chipmaker erased nearly $600B in market cap, the biggest one-day loss in US history. Is this why Selena Gomez was so sad?

To put that in perspective, $600B is more than double Coca-Cola’s (+3.1%) entire market cap.  “And the sound you hear is the sound of sh*t hitting the fan. Globally.” 

Meanwhile, former Denny’s Employee of the Month (read: CEO Jensen Huang) saw his personal net worth plummet by $21B. For the sake of market cap d*ck measuring, that’s bigger than the entire market cap of Snapchat or Nippon Steel (+0.9%) *Jensen frantically signs t*tties while he still can*.

Still, Nvidia went full findom. Despite getting killed, they cuddled up to and simped for DeepSeek, calling it “an excellent AI advancement and a perfect example of Test Time Scaling.” Which makes sense, given that the AI knockoff relies on the reduced-capability Nvidia H800 chips. 

Just to round out the bloodbath, data center companies like Dell (-8.7%) and HP (-5.8%) fell in sympathy, as did energy stocks Vistra (-28.2%) and Constellation Energy (-20.8%) as investors flee the US AI trade. As you might have guessed, the Nasdaq got barbecued… falling 3% on the day.

+ Apple (+3.1%) is pulling a move straight out of its 2014 U2 Songs of Innocence playbook (read: forcing an update to everyone’s devices that no one wants).

The latest round of Apple software updates turns Apple Intelligence ON by default for iPhones, iPads, and Macs. Have no fear, boomers, the AI features are so useless you probably won’t even have to call your kids to figure out how to turn it off. The update will roll out some pretty basic “AI” like email summaries and image generators.

But there’s at least one thing the update will kill: the Apple News feature that was distributing hilarious irresponsible fake news summaries like indicating Rafael Nadal came out as gay (spoiler: he didn’t).

+  Don’t drop the soap, Pat…

Former Archegos CFO Patrick Halligan learned his fate on Monday: 8 years in Club Fed. He was found guilty alongside his boss, Bill Hwang, for blowing up Hwang’s family office, which cost banks nearly $10B.

Friendly reminder: in 2021 Archegos managed $36B, but leveraged its positions to more than $100B via a web of lies to lenders. The house of cards came tumbling down when Hwang & Co. got margin called.

+ After years of leading the (relatively) disappointing Whole Foods business, Amazon (+0.2%) has rewarded Doug Herrington’s mediocrity with a promotion to global grocery retail chief… which means he’ll oversee Whole Foods, Amazon Fresh, and Amazon Go.

+ These hoes ain’t loyal, and neither is Costco (+2.7%). The big box retailer is switching its food court allegiance to Coca-Cola (+3.1%) products from Pepsi (+3.6%). This is the biggest coup since Costco abandoned Amex for Visa.

+ The Senate voted to confirm Wall Street vet Scott Bessent as Treasury Secretary. And don’t cry because Janet Yellen’s term is over, smile because it happened.

+ Haters will say it’s fake, but… Google (-4.2%) will change the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America and Alaska’s Mount Denali to Mount McKinley on Google Maps, per Donny Politics’ executive order. No word on what MapQuest plans to do.

+ Parents whose kids become confident, successful adults avoid this 2-word phrase, says Ivy League-trained psychologist. My kids don’t stand a chance…

+ You can turn 10 PTO days into 45 vacation days this year with a couple of sneaky tricks... here's how. Meanwhile, in Europe, they’re like “45 days, that’s it?”

🔥 How to nail your job interview, according to an ex-Microsoft HR executive. Tell the interviewer that if they don’t hire you, you’ll claim they asked about your sexual orientation, race, and religion.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

+ US stocks “dropped sharply Monday — and chipmaker Nvidia lost nearly $600 billion in market value — after a surprise advancement from a Chinese artificial intelligence company, DeepSeek, threatened the aura of invincibility surrounding America’s technology industry.” (CNN)

+ The 10-year yield “fell on Monday as investors sought out safe-haven assets amid a massive stock market sell-off.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices fell about 2% to a two-week low on Monday as news of surging interest in Chinese startup DeepSeek's low-cost artificial intelligence (AI) model prompted concerns over energy demand to power data centers.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “experienced a surprising 7% correction on Jan. 27, briefly dropping below $98,000 for the first time in over 10 days.” (Cointelegraph.com)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -16.8% 2) C3.ai -5.0% 3) Visa +1.3%

⏪ Yesterday, Sofi & AT&T reported before the bell.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Boeing, Lockheed Martin, GM, Raytheon, SAP, Royal Caribbean, JetBlue, and Sysco report before the bell

+ Starbucks, Stryker, NXT, and Chubb drop earnings after the close

+ Yum! Brands hosts its Taco Bell Consumer Day… and I wonder what they’re serving for lunch

+ Smithfield IPOs

Yesterday, I asked, “Early picks: who ya got in the big game (I can't say Super B*wl)?”

By far one of the closest polls we've had. 50.2% are taking the Chiefs.

• Eagles: "Eagles have #1 defense and best offensive line.”

• Eagles: “I'm sure that the Chiefs will win, but I pray those sh*tbags in Philly beat their a**es. I'm sick of seeing Taylor Swift and her illiterate knuckle-dragger boyfriend (along with his brother) on TV every other minute."

• Chiefs: “Chiefs. Taylor Swift crying on national TV is not good for business."

• Chiefs: “KC obviously. As a KC fan I fully endorse the continued payments to the refs."

• Chiefs: “At least I will be done with the Kelces for a couple of months. Narrator's voice: No, he won't.”

And here’s today’s question…

This dude is smuggling In-N-Out burgers to the East Coast on work trips. Call it East Coast bias (because it is), but In-N-Out is not that good, you guys.

+ The DeepSeek/Lehman/COVID Venn Diagram you didn’t know you needed

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.