Hey there weekday warriors,

A report just dropped that indicates Chick-fil-A has hiked prices by more than 20% over the past two years, and I can’t help but think, I’d pay much, MUCH more than that.

Here’s what we’re getting into today…

• Tesla delivers… but still loses

• Rivian gets rekt

• Bitcoin moons

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 16 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

PS, our ad partners are how I keep The Water Coolest free… so the best way to support The Water Coolest is by supporting them (read: click a link, take a look around…)

+ US stocks “were mixed after the close on Tuesday, as gains in the Telecoms, Healthcare and Utilities sectors led shares higher while losses in the Technology, Consumer Services, and Industrials sectors led shares lower.” (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “climbed on Tuesday as 2024 trading kicked off and questions about the outlook for interest rates and the state of the economy remained." (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices closed the first trading session of 2024 lower as expectations for interest rate cuts waned and on easing concerns that tensions in the Red Sea will disrupt supplies.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin mooned “into the new year, with the price of the original cryptocurrency hitting $45,000 Tuesday for the first time since April 2022.” (Axios)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Marathon Digital -2.38% 2) Visa -0.57% 3) Tesla -0.02%.

Deliver us from Elon

Good news, Elon haters. Once again, the Tesla CEO was justttt a bit outside on another one of his outlandish overpromises…

You might recall that at the beginning of 2023 Elon promised that Tesla would produce 2M vehicles (spoiler: it did not). To be fair, by Q3, Elon’s handlers convinced him to lower guidance to 1.8M (and blame the high interest rate environment).

Yesterday, Tesla reported that the company delivered 484.5k EVs in Q4. That’s well above the 477k analyst consensus.

For the year, Tesla produced 1.8M cars that just scream “I have disposable income and am not afraid to kill a family of peasants while in FSD." That’s 38% growth year over year.

And the crowd goes mild…

Despite the win for Elon (he was catching Ls on the Twitter/X front), shares were down slightly on the day.

And there’s only one man to blame… Warren Buffett. You see, the Oracle-backed Chinese EV maker, BYD, officially took the crown from Tesla as the biggest swinging EV producer in Q4. On Monday, BYD announced that it moved 526k units (which is more than 484k, because math).

To be fair, for the full year, Tesla still sold more cars. But BYD’s power move could mark a changing of the guard, given its commitment to lower-priced cars and its massive geographic advantages. Friendly reminder: China is the biggest EV market in the world and is home to cheap labor and massive amounts of rare earth minerals that are key components in EV batteries.

How do you say "get your sh*t together in 2024"... in French?

Following through on a resolution can be hard (trust me... not only did I not lose weight... I gained weight).

But Babbel can help you stay accountable while learning a new language in 2024.

Find your follow-through with Babbel: the language learning app that teaches real-world conversation for any situation.

* This is a sponsored post

+ Keep this line off your resume, says ex-Disney recruiter: ‘There’s zero benefit’ (Read)

+ Motley Fool has unearthed what they think could be the Netflix of AI. A company that's dominating the AI tool market with a critical component... AI chips. Their 'AI Disruption Playbook' shares the stock and four others. You can get the Playbook for free with a subscription to Motley Fool's market-crushing service Stock Advisor (Secure your copy)*

+ The top 3 money goals Gen Zers and millennials have for 2024—and expert advice on how to achieve them (Read)

+ ICYMI... The great Rolex recession is here: How the Fed crushed the luxury-watch boom (Read)

* This is a sponsored post

+ Don’t get too down on yourself for coming in second to BYD, Elon. It could be much, much worse…

You could be Rivian.

Shares of the preferred EV maker of people who would kill for a Tesla but want to show people that they disapprove of Elon Musk, fell more than 10% on the day. And it’s not entirely clear why.

Sure, deliveries fell ~10% from the previous quarter… but the number was in line with expectations. So, yeah, it shouldn’t exactly have been a surprise. FFS, even managing to outpace annual production estimates (57k vs. 54k) wasn’t enough to keep you ungrateful b*stards investors happy. (Read)

+ [read in the voice of this guy who is aggressively mansplaining to some poor female at the bar] “Yeah, so in early 2024, the SEC is expected to approve the first Bitcoin spot ETF. A bitcoin spot ETF is…”

Late Monday, bitcoin hit $45k for the first time in nearly 2-years, and it’s probably the only thing Intern Full Time Ian is talking about at Barstool HQ right now. (Read)

+ Define “down tremendous.” In November, Fidelity marked down the value of its stake in Twitter by (another) 19%. For those of you keeping score at home, that means Fidelity has written down its Twitter investment by more than 70%. (Read)

+ Imagine waking up in 2024 and the first thing you do is decide to bet against Apple? Barclays analyst Tim Long (just an all-time name for an equity analyst) just downgraded Apple… even though he only cut his price target by a buck. Coward.

His rationale? Piss poor sales of the iPhone 15 in China, which he thinks will bleed over to the iPhone 16. Plus, he sees a slowdown in the higher-margin services business.

AAPL fell more than 3.5% on the day… and Timmy Shorts gained a bunch of new haters. (Read)

+ Maersk just went all “f*ck that noise.” The massive shipping company said it’s pausing shipping through the Red Sea and Suez Canal “until further notice.” And, to be honest, I can’t blame them. Houthi rebels in the Red Sea attacked the Maersk Hangzhou over the weekend. That is, until the US Navy put a world of hurt on the Iranian-backed terrorists. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Cal-Maine reports earnings

+ The December Fed meeting minutes drop. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

Yesterday, I asked Will the S&P 500 close above or below 4,800 on December 31, 2024? (extra points for rationale)

78.5% of you think the S&P 500 will close above 4,800 on December 31, 2024.

Here’s today’s question…

Mostly because my town just got a Chick-fil-A…

What’s the best Chick-fil-A sauce?

Reply directly to this email with your thoughts. I’ll share the results tomorrow.

Oh, and two more things…

Have you checked out today’s partner Babbel yet?

Interested in sponsoring The Water Coolest? Fill out this form and I’ll be in touch. Or reach out directly to [email protected].

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.