Hey there weekday warriors,

Something super important before we get into it…

A friendly reminder to everyone that no matter how sh*tty things are… you matter. If you’re having a hard time or having some dark thoughts, it’s OK to ask for help. Especially all the alpha males out there who think it’s “weak” to talk to a therapist. It’s not. I promise you. Talking to someone will make a huge difference in your life and the lives of everyone who loves you.

Go get yourself the help that you need. You can call or text 988 if you’re in distress. Or reach out to someone who cares about you. Or email me (seriously).

Some context…

11 years ago today my dad killed himself. He battled depression for most of his adult life, but it was still totally unexpected. I still remember getting the phone call.

You think it can’t happen to someone you love. Until it does. If someone you give a damn about is struggling, reach out. And don’t stop until they get the help they need.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “cleared all-time highs on Friday as investors embraced the idea that the June jobs report will push the Federal Reserve closer to a rate cut.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “dropped on Friday as the latest U.S. jobs report showed an unexpected rise in the unemployment rate." (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled lower on Friday as the rising possibility of a ceasefire deal in Gaza outweighed strong summer fuel demand and potential supply disruptions from Gulf of Mexico hurricanes.” (Reuters)

+ The Bitcoin bloodbath continues…

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla +2.0% 2) Nvidia -1.9% 3) C3.ai +4.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Shares of Penn Entertainment rose 4.7% on news that Flutter (the parent company of FanDuel) might be interested in joining Boyd Gaming in a takeover bid.

– Things you don’t want to hear from a company’s auditor: we are “unwilling to be associated with the financial statements prepared by management.” SunPower stock fell 22.3% on news that E&Y resigned as its auditor following accusations that leadership lied about financials.

Dove tuah

Do you smell that? It’s the sweet, sweet aroma of J-Poww slashing interest rates in the year of our lord 2024.

On Friday, the Labor Department dropped the official US jobs report. The US economy added 206k positions in June, beating economist’s expectations. In case you were wondering, that’s a f*ck ton of jobs.

But it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies…

That figure was down from May’s (downwardly revised) 218k jobs added.

Plus, the unemployment rate jumped to 4.1%. That’s the first time since 2021 that the unemployment rate topped 4%.

Meanwhile, hourly earnings rose just 0.3% month over month and 3.9% vs. a year ago. That was in line with expectations.

So what does it all mean?

It was a Goldilocks jobs report. The US is still adding jobs. But at a slower rate… and unemployment jumped, showing some slack in the job market.

Combined with the recent PCE (inflation) report, the masters of the universe are starting to bet on a September rate cut.

+ While we were celebrating America defeating our colonial oppressors on Thursday, an incredibly un-American deal was being finalized right under our noses…

Saks Fifth Avenue, which Canadian company HBC owns, is buying Neiman Marcus for $2.65B. For those of you still buying suits off the rack, that means Saks, Neiman Marcus, Saks Off 5th, and Bergdorf Goodman will all be under the same umbrella called Saks Global.

HBC will manage its Canadian property and Hudson’s Bay stores separately.

Oh, and did I mention that Amazon invested in the deal? It makes sense, considering AMZN kinda sucks at brick-and-mortar retail and is very, very good at delivery and logistics.

+ Today in ‘sh*t you cannot make up’… headphone maker Koss (+25.5%) rose nearly 230% last week. All because retail investors were betting that Roaring Kitty would unveil a stake in the company on July 4th.

Turns out that back in May, Gill posted an image on Twitter that showed a microphone emoji on an American flag…

Mouth breathers deducted that it was a clue left by Roaring Kitty, hinting that he’d reveal a stake in Koss on Independence Day. Spoiler: it’s a few days after the 4th of July, and there is still no sign that Gill pulled the trigger on Koss.

What a time to be alive…

+ ICYMI on the 4th…

Zuck is in his f*ck boy era. The CEO of Meta, who has traded his signature hoodies for designer t-shirts and a gold chain, really outdid himself for Independence Day…

zuck

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+ JPMorgan warns about paying for checking accounts. You gotta spend money to make money, amirite?

+ Here’s how much money Americans in their 30s have in their 401(k)s. Don’t look at this if you can’t deal with feeling inadequate.

+ Young, wealthy investors turn to alternatives instead of traditional stock and bond investments. Have we learned nothing from NFTs?

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Walmart Deals shopping event gets underway. Think: Prime Day for poors.

Here’s today’s question…

Considering Zuck’s glow-up…

Before you go…

Vintage videos of Steve Ballmer never get old…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.