Hey there weekday warriors,

Today we’re breaking down TikTok’s day in court and some major acquisition rumors.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “indexes edged back from their records Thursday, weighed down by a dip for Wall Street darling Nvidia, following a mixed set of reports on the economy.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “rose Thursday as investors weighed fresh economic data indicating further signs of a slowing economy." (CNBC)

+ Oil “climbed on Thursday after the U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA) reported a draw on crude oil and data showing a cooling jobs market that stoked hopes the Federal Reserve could cut interest rates soon.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rose marginally on Thursday as investor sentiment remains muted amid ongoing concerns about prolonged high interest rates and global economic health.” (Investing.com)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -3.5% 2) Visa +1.1% 3) AMD +4.6%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Oh my God, ok, it’s happening. Everybody stay calm. Boyd Gaming has allegedly approached Penn Entertainment about an acquisition. Shares of Penn rose 9.9% on the news. Rumors have been swirling for months that Penn could be a takeover target. Last month, activist investor Donerail claimed PENN could command more than double its share price on the open market…

– The good news is that your computer is AI-optimized. The bad news? It’s no longer compatible with standard software and apps (think: Adobe and Fortnite). Shares of Qualcomm fell 5.1% after Samsung blamed the chipmaker for recent hiccups with new computers.

+ Nothing to see here. Shares of Allurion (don’t worry, the founder’s mother probably has never heard of it either) mooned 145.2% after releasing positive data related to a swallowable gastric balloon used for weight loss. Spoiler: it results in less muscle mass loss than GPL-1s.

+ Name a fate worse than getting acquired by Boeing. You literally can’t. It’s like getting on the Titanic when it’s already taking on water. Still, shares of SpiritAerosystems rose 4.2% after hours following reports that it was close to a deal with Boeing (which, for the record, used to own it).

Get ready to go to court with me

Bad news for all the tech-illiterate billionaires trying to go all “how do you do fellow kids” by buying TikTok…

According to Bytedance’s lawyers, TikTok ain’t for sale. During a hearing yesterday, the company asked a court to overturn a law that would force the app to shut down in the US.

“bUT waIT I thOUGHt TheY COulD SeLL ThE ApP…”

Technically, the law forces the sale to an owner that isn’t affiliated with the People’s Republic. But TikTok’s lawyers made it clear that divestiture is "not possible technologically, commercially, or legally."

That wasn’t the only argument the court heard.

TikTok’s legal team pointed out, "This law is a radical departure from this country’s tradition of championing an open Internet, and sets a dangerous precedent allowing the political branches to target a disfavored speech platform and force it to sell or be shut down." And one can only assume a USA chant broke out.

Not for lack of trying…

The social media app showed up to court with receipts. It claims it had been trying to work with the US government to come to a resolution… until Uncle Sam suddenly ended discussions in 2022.

TikTok reportedly spent north of $2B on the effort which would protect US users, including building a “kill switch” that would allow the government to pull the plug.

+ Your move, Altman…

Anthropic (think: OpenAI for people who sat by themselves during lunch in high school) dropped a brand-new AI model. Meet: Claude 3.5 Sonnet.

It debuted the Claude 3 platform less than three months ago.

So, what’s so good about Sonnet? Well, for starters, it’s twice as fast and a fifth the cost for software developers. And I’m sure major investors like Google and Amazon love to hear their portco is in a race to the bottom.

+ Cowards.

Despite inflation reaching its 2% target on Wednesday, the Bank of England decided against cutting rates on Thursday. Something about needing “to be restrictive for an extended period of time.”

+ Today in things that I really, really hope are true: Martin “Pharma Bro” Shkreli claims that he launched the DJT TrumpCoin (think: Solana based sh*tcoin) with… wait for it… Barron Trump. And you thought the Bush twins were cool…

+ On second thought, maybe Nikola should just bring back Trevor Milton to start making sh*t up again. 

Shares of NKLA tanked 31.4% after the company announced a 1-for-30 stock split. Currently, the company is at risk of being delisted from the Nasdaq…

+ Red flags that suggest a job posting doesn’t offer a ‘competitive salary’ as it claims, recruiters say (Read)

+ Once you hit this credit score ‘you’re good,’ says credit expert—here’s how to get even better (Read)

+ The salary a family of 4 needs to get by in every U.S. state—it’s more than $150,000 in the most expensive one (Read)

⏪ Yesterday, we were keeping an eye on Kroger and Darden earnings…

+ Kroger (-3.2%) took its lumps after warning about cautious consumers reeling in spending (despite a top and bottom line beat).

+ Darden (+1.5%) (so, Olive Garden) shared mixed results and warned about slowing consumer spending. And investors didn’t care at all…

⏩ Here’s what we’re keeping an eye on today…

+ Happy triple witching day to those who celebrate (stock options, stock index futures, and stock index options contracts expire)

+ CrowdStrike, KKR, and GoDaddy join the S&P 500 after the close. And in case you were wondering… yes, it’s already priced in.

Yesterday, I asked, “What other 2000s mall retailer deserves a second chance?”

1. Sharper Image

2. Tower Records

3. KB Toys

Spencer’s got a lot of write-in love… but here’s the thing guys… it literally still exists.

Here’s today’s question…

Since it’s the first Summer Friday of the year…

Before you go…

He really should have gone back to reading The Water Coolest… (Check in out on Twitter)

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.