💦 We're going streaming

And Meta’s latest acquisition target

Hey there weekday warriors,

Today we’re diving into another mind-boggling quarter by Netflix. Plus, Meta’s latest acquisition target.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 9 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

Markets

+ “Tech stocks failed to make a comeback on Thursday, as a sell-off broadened after the Nasdaq's worst day since 2022.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “advanced on Thursday as investors digested a range of comments by Federal Reserve officials and what they could mean for interest rates." (CNBC)

+Oil “steadied on Thursday as investors wrestled with mixed signals about crude demand, with concerns about an economic slowdown in the U.S. contending with rising expectations the Federal Reserve would soon cut interest rates.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin was “again in the red on Thursday, alongside a continued slump in U.S. equity prices and swirling speculation about the presidential election race.” (Coindesk)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +2.8%2) TSMC -0.3%3) Netflix -0.6% // -0.1% after hours

The market moves you need to know about…

Domino’s sure could use one of those emergency pizzas right now. The glorified pizza parlor burnt the roof of investors’ mouths after reporting a big top-line miss. Shares fell13.5% on the day.

Honestly, I’d rather swim in an above-ground pool than invest in Leslie’s. The pool supply store slid 30.6% after sharing piss-poor earnings. Turns out discretionary items, like, say, pools, are the first thing humans stop spending on when times get tough. Oh, and Leslie’s CEO pointed out that bad weather wreaked havoc on its most recent quarter.

We’re going streaming

Source: Giphy

Can someone check in on the guy at Blockbuster who passed on Netflix?

In the streaming wars, Netflix (-0.6% // -0.1% after hours) is America in 2024 and everyone else is a bunch of farmers with pitchforks.

NFLX is out here getting its March 2020 on. The streamer put up thick n juicy numbers in its most recent quarter. It beat easily on the top and bottom lines.

And it only plans to build on its commanding lead. NFLX hiked its full-year top-line growth guidance.

But what might have been most impressive was its ability to add subscribers. Global paid memberships topped 278M. That’s a 16.5% increase and beat the Street’s expectations (274M).

Oh, and its ad-supported tier grew a whopping 34%.

Of course…

…this is one of the last times we’ll get to see subscriber numbers from Netflix. They told us last quarter that they’re going to stop reporting subscriber numbers and focus on revenue and profitability.

Not only will this protect Netflix if it has a quarter where it is dealing with shrinkage (it was in the pool!). But it’s a way to show that it’s the big swingin’ d*ck in the streaming space and everyone else is playing for second. No other streamer is profitable. Nor do they come close in number of subscribers.

Honestly, Netflix probably won’t have that hard of a time adding subs going forward, though. It’s getting the rights to WWE RAW in 2025. And it’ll stream NFL games on Christmas. Oh, and it’s got exclusive rights to the Joey Chestnut-Kobayashi hot dog eating match on Labor Day Weekend.

TS

+ Ok, hear me out. I figured out why eyewear maker EssilorLuxottica just bought the streetwear brand Supreme from VF Corp. for $1.5B.

You see, it turns out that Meta (+3.0%) (yes, the one that steals your data) is considering buying a 5% stake in Essilor for ~$5B. The two currently partner on the creepy Meta x Ray-Ban smart sunglasses.

Now here’s my hot take…

You might’ve seen noticed Zuck went from virgin lizard boi to f*ck boy almost overnight. As part of his glow up, he’s been rocking some very high-end designer clothes… including streetwear.

Meta investors would certainly balk at him investing directly in an apparel brand. But they wouldn’t blink an eye if he was investing in a “trusted tech partner.”

+This one is gonna sting a little for all the tree huggers…

Not only has Ford (+0.4%) decided it will no longer convert its Oakville Assembly Complex in Ontario, Canada to an EV production hub. Instead, it will spend more than $2B to expand production of its gas-guzzling Super Duty pickup trucks.

It will presumably also build a coal-burning power plant on the site and raise cows with IBS…

+ What’s better than one once-great zombie media brand? That’s right… two slightly smaller once-great zombie media brands.

Rumor has it that Warner Bros. Discovery (+2.4%) is about to go all “desperate times call for desperate measures.” It’s considering splitting its streaming business from its legacy media property, which I’m pretty sure was a subplot in ‘Succession.’

Just how bad are things? Well, the company just laid off 1k people. And the stock has fallen 70% since Warner Bros. and Discovery merged in the year of our lord 2022.

Oh, and…

+ Amazon says this year's Prime Day was its biggest ever.Imagine not having Amazon in your portfolio…

+Google brings AI to US broadcast of Paris Olympics.Great news! Now they can showcase their AI incompetence to even the most remote nations.

🤦‍♂️ My bad, there was a broken line yesterday for…Top 5 Alternative Investments for Real Estate Investors in 2024.Spoiler: 1st edition Charizard is #2.

FWD

⏪ Yesterday we were keeping an eye on Domino’s and Netflix earnings. Plus, we got the European Central Bank’s policy statement…

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Amex, Travelers, Fifth Third, Huntington Bancshares, and Regions Bank report before the bell

EXIT

Yesterday, I asked, “Do you go out of your way to shop for Prime Day deals?”

53.6% of you said “nope.”

Here’s today’s question…

Summer Friday and Leslie’s got me thinking…

What's the GOATed place to swim?

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Why did I start a newsletter?

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FINE

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.