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- 💦 This guy Zucks
Hey there weekday warriors,
Bad news. The fun police are even coming for the mediocre streaming services. Hulu will begin cracking down on password sharing in March.
Here’s what else we’re getting into today…
Meta’s yuge quarter
Amazon’s really good, but not quite as good as Meta’s quarter
Peloton down horrendous
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 3 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “pressed higher on Thursday after the worst sell-off in months on Wall Street, as investors recalibrated their timeline for rate cuts from the Federal Reserve and prepared for a heavy-hitting round of mega-cap tech earnings.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield “slumped to a one-month low Thursday as investors digested the latest interest rate decision from the Federal Reserve and clues about the path ahead for rate cuts." (CNBC)
+ Oil prices “fell over 2% on Thursday after false market speculation that Israel had agreed to a Gaza ceasefire proposal.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “sought to recover losses on Feb. 1 after the monthly close turned sour for BTC price action.” (Cointelegraph)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Meta +1.19% AH: +15.22% 2) Apple +1.33% AH: -2.92% 3) Amazon +2.63% AH: +7.11%
The market moves you need to know about…
+ This could be you if you kicked your adult children out of the basement, boomers. Shares of Volvo mooned more than 25% on news that it would stop funding luxury subsidiary Polestar (also, what a great name for a strip club).
– Shares of New York Community Bank fell for a second day in a row. The bank plummeted 30%+ Wednesday after it reported a larger-than-expected loan loss provision and slashed its dividend. Yesterday it fell another 11%. Probably nothing.
– Apple shares fell 2.9% after hours, despite a top and bottom line beat. The iPhone maker spooked investors when it reported that sales in China fell double digits and revenue in the current quarter would be roughly flat. Surely Vision Pro sales will help. Right? You guys?
This guy Zucks, amirite?
(Source: Giphy)
“I’m sorry for everything you’ve all gone through. It’s terrible. No one should have to go through the things that your families have suffered.” - Mark Zuckerberg
If you guessed that quote was Mark Zuckerberg apologizing directly to the parents of children exploited on his platform(s) during a Senate hearing Wednesday… you’re wrong. That’s actually Mark apologizing to all the shorts who bet against Meta…
Facebook went parabolic after reporting earnings yesterday. Shares were up 15.2% after hours.
WTF happened?
Meta put on a clinic in the quarter ended December 31. It beat easily on the top and bottom line. Revenue grew 25% and net income tripled. And it appears that the year of efficiency paid off. Expenses fell 8% in the quarter.
How’d Zuck pull it off?
Spoiler: it had nothing to do with the metaverse. And everything to do with Shein and Temu. The two Chinese e-commerce giants mainlined cash into Facebook and Instagram ads. China accounted for ~10% of sales.
And it appears this will not be Zuck’s last rodeo. The company’s guidance blew away the Street’s Q1 estimates.
Bonus szn came early for Meta investors
Zuck announced Meta’s first-ever dividend (50 cents per share) *your grandpa has entered the chat.*
But wait, there’s more. The social network formerly known as Facebook also announced a $50B buyback.
+ Ryan Reynolds' Co-Owned Or Sold Companies Are Valued at $14 Billion But He Says, 'Thank God I Am Not Running the Company' As He Heads Toward Billionaire Status (Read)
+ Rental markets are cooling, but it ‘doesn’t mean they’re falling,’ Harvard researcher says. Here’s what that means for renters (Read)
+ Why don't many executives take pay cuts to avoid layoffs? An ex-Microsoft HR VP explains. (Read)
> ICYMI... Financial Blogger Says $230,000 A Year Isn't Enough Money For His Family Of Four — 'Desire Is The Cause Of All Suffering.' (Read)
+ Live look at the 27k employees Amazon laid off, so the company could beat on earnings.
In Q4, net income hit $10B… vs. $278M a year ago. The e-comm giant posted thicc quarterly numbers on the top and bottom line, beating easily. And it shared a pretty rosy outlook for the current quarter.
Shares jumped 7%. (Read)
Peloton reported earnings Thursday morning, and it was a lot like that one scene in the Sex and the City spinoff. Shares fell more than 22% after its loss came in bigger than expected… and it warned that revenue growth and profitability are still months away. Spoiler: CEO Barry McCarthy had promised to meet both of those goals *checks calendar* this quarter.
Oh, and the company is completely rebuilding its customer service team after a “holiday season that was particularly taxing for Members.” (Read)
+ Elon is taking his talents to Texas (with shareholder approval). You might recall earlier this week, Elon fired off a tweet that put Delaware (the entire state) in a body bag. Elon’s post came after a judge from “The First State” (even their tagline sucks) voided his $56B 2018 pay package.
After a Twitter poll that gave him the answer he was looking for, Elon said he’ll ask Tesla shareholders to allow the company to incorporate in Texas. (Read)
+ Etsy might be the only stock company that misses the pandemic more than Zoom. Shares have fallen 75% from their all-time high in late 2021. And now, the vultures are circling.
Activist Elliot Management has built a ~13% stake in the company and landed a seat on the board. Elliot has a track record of “turnarounds” at other major tech platforms, like Twitter and Pinterest. Of course, by turnaround, I mean gutting management (RIP Jack Dorsey) and slashing headcount to “create value.” (Read)
Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...
+ Exxon, Chevron, AbbVie and Charter report
+ All eyes will be on the January jobs report
> Crystal ballin’… It’s a Friday and bonus season is quickly approaching. More tech layoffs are inbound…
Yesterday, I asked Is the Sphere in Vegas a must-see?
53.8% of you think yes.
The handful of you that ball outrageous/can stand U2 all said some variation of the same thing: it’s awesome, but probably not worth a trip to Vegas if you’re just going for that.
Here’s today’s question…
You're starting a portfolio. What's your #1 pick? |
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional