TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

I’m getting tired of a missionary intro. Going to try some new stuff. Like revisiting stories from TWC’s past (think: ‘where are they now?’), this week in history, some data and graphics, and more. If you love it, let me know. If you hate it, just keep it to yourself.

Today, we’re talking about Max’s new name, eToro’s IPO, and the real reason the UnitedHealth Group CEO stepped down. But first...

Way back in the May 15, 2021 edition of The Water Coolest… we talked about Elon’s decision to stop letting prospective buyers purchase Teslas with Bitcoin, citing "the environmental impact."

Bitcoin fell below $46k after Lon Corleone posted a chart pointing out Bitcoin's egregious electricity consumption.

I probably don’t need to remind you, but the little sh*tcoin that could has gone on to top $100k.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 44 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

HBO Go

Warner Bros. Discovery just hit us all with the UNO reverse card…

That’s right, the good people at WBD $WBD ( ▲ 0.22% ) have finally come to their senses and Made Max Great Again. The company announced that its streaming service will be called HBO Max… again.

Friendly reminder: the clowns who brought us CNN+ changed the name of their streaming service from “HBO Max” to just “Max” back in 2023 after 3 years.

At the time, everyone thought it was a bad idea… and, yeah, they were right.

Wait, but why?

According to CEO David Zaslav, the change had to do with a return to its roots. Think: a focus on high-quality TV. Plus, it turns out it doesn’t make for good PR if you say “because a McKinsey consultant using ChatGPT told us to.”

Nothing screams premium cable quite like HBO. Think: Game of Thrones, Entourage, Ballers (yes, Ballers), The Sopranos, Succession, etc. The cockiest mf’er in the game, WBD’s head of streaming, seems to agree: “It’s really not subjective, not even controversial — our programming just hits different.”

Quality over quantity (of profit)

WBD has walked the walk over the past few years. It has pumped the brakes on its pace of content to focus on the kind of television that’ll make you forget all about the Sunday scaries (read: it hasn’t tried to keep up with Netflix).

And it’s drastically slowed its subscriber growth initiatives (read: it hasn’t tried to keep up with Netflix).

The approach has allowed it to reduce the f*ck ton of debt Warner Bros. is saddled with and actually turn a profit (something most streamers can’t say).

Today’s fastest growing company might surprise you

🚨 No, it's not the publicly traded tech giant you might expect… Meet $MODE, the disruptor turning phones into potential income generators. Investors are buzzing about the company's pre-IPO offering.

📲 Mode saw 32,481% revenue growth from 2019 to 2022, ranking them the #1 overall software company on Deloitte’s recent fastest-growing companies list by aiming to pioneer "Privatized Universal Basic Income" powered by technology — not government. Their flagship product, EarnPhone, has already helped consumers earn & save $325M+.

🫴 Mode’s Pre-IPO offering is live at $0.30/share, and 41,000+ shareholders already participated in its previous sold-out offering. They’ve just been granted the stock ticker $MODE by the Nasdaq, and you can still invest in their pre-IPO offering at just $0.30/share before it closes.

*Ad disclosures below

+ If you listened closely, you could almost hear Vlad Tenev’s fear b*ner…

Robinhood competitor eToro had itself a public debut. Not only did the WeBull-for-people-who-hate-good-UX price its shares above the expected range, but it opened at $69.69 (I sh*t you not). That was 34% above its IPO price.

ETOR closed the day around $67, but that was still good enough for a 29% pop on the first day of trading. It raised $310M via the offering, which it will presumably use to pay publications like TWC to convince readers to switch from Robinhood (my DMs are open, eToro).

Probably the only mistake they made was not buying the company (a penny stock) with the ticker TORO, just so they could get their hands on that big, beautiful symbol.

+ Who amongst us hasn’t committed Medicare fraud?

Listen, I hate to point fingers, but it looks like we know what the UnitedHealth Group $UNH ( ▲ 6.4% )  CEO’s “personal reasons” for resigning were. Just a day after Andrew Witty stepped down as CEO of UNH and the company pulled its 2025 guidance, those pesky journos at the WSJ discovered that the healthcare giant is being investigated for Medicare fraud. Oof.

+ Before you get too worked up about AI taking your job, just remember…

+ Today in things that are not even a little bit surprising, Warren Buffett said that he decided to step down as CEO of Berkshire Hathaway because… get this… he was starting to feel old.

+ Dick’s Sporting Goods $DKS ( ▲ 2.78% )  is reportedly thisss close to buying Foot Locker $FL ( ▼ 0.21% )  for $2.3B, presumably just so it can roll out those referee uniforms to its own stores (worth it, tbh). Foot Locker has fallen on hard times since Liberation Day. You see, pretty much all of its products are made by children consenting adults in China (or elsewhere in Asia).

+ It appears AMD $AMD ( ▲ 1.9% )  CEO Lisa Su asked ChatGPT “how do I make my stock go up?” The answer? Buybacks, of course. AMD authorized an additional $6B in share repurchases. That’s in addition to the $4B already approved.

The decision was probably made easier by the Saudi Arabian company that announced it was going to make it rain on AMD. Humain (pretty funny name for a Saudi company) plans to spend nearly $10B on AMD chips and servers.

+ US stocks “mostly floated higher on Wednesday as techs drove the Nasdaq higher while Wall Street continued to debate the state of play on tariffs.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “inched higher on Wednesday as investors looked ahead to a handful of fresh economic data, including retail sales and wholesale inflation.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices eased on Wednesday after government data showed U.S. crude oil stockpiles rose unexpectedly last week, prompting investor concerns of excess supplies.” (Reuters)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Global-E and Bitfarms reported before the bell

+ Cisco, Red Cat, IREN, Nextracker, and DLocal reported after the bell

+ Upstart held its AI Day event

+ The three-day Consensus 2025 crypto conference hosted by CoinDesk took place in Toronto

+ The 2025 Sohn Investment Conference was held in New York City

+ Harley-Davidson held its annual shareholder meeting amid activist pressure from H Partners

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Walmart, Alibaba, and Deere report this AM

+ Applied Materials, CAVA, Take-Two, Quantum Computing, KULR, Bit Digital, and Doximity report after hours

+ We’ll start getting 13-Fs from investment managers and hedge funds… so expect lots of emails from stock gurus telling you how to invest like Bridgewater

+ The European Central Bank will release the minutes from its last monetary policy meeting

+ The April Retail Sales report drops

+ J-Poww will give a speech at the Thomas Laubach Research Conference

Yesterday, I asked, “Which are you taking for the rest of your life: unlimited free alcohol OR never get a hangover?”

53.2% of you said “No hangover.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• No hangover: “You needed to include an "Age" option for this. Those of us in the 35-49 category cannot deal with a hangover.”

• Free booze: “Do you know how much money I would save if I never had to pay for alcohol? Literally more than half of any dinner bill.”

• No hangover: “Having to pay for booze is the only thing keeping me from being a real alcoholic. Gotta keep that guardrail”

• Free booze: “Imagine how quickly you'd take out your liver if you never had hangovers again! Probs better to take the free hooch.”

• No hangover: “I would pay way more to not wake up feeling awful after a big night out than any amount of booze I could realistically drink ”

• Free booze: “I can sell it? Finally, a side hustle that'll stick!”

Here’s today’s question…

The initial list is according to me. Curb, Righteous Gemstones, and Eastbound and Down should be on there too, but there are only 10 spots.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

Advertiser Disclosures

1 Mode Mobile recently received their ticker reservation with Nasdaq ($MODE), indicating an intent to IPO in the next 24 months. An intent to IPO is no guarantee that an actual IPO will occur.

2 The rankings are based on submitted applications and public company database research, with winners selected based on their fiscal-year revenue growth percentage over a three-year period.

3 A minimum investment of $1,950 is required to receive bonus shares. 100% bonus shares are offered on investments of $9,950+.