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Hey there weekday warrior,
I’m getting tired of a missionary intro. Going to try some new stuff. Like revisiting stories from TWC’s past (think: ‘where are they now?’), this week in history, some data and graphics, and more. If you love it, let me know. If you hate it, just keep it to yourself.
Today, we’re getting into Airbnb’s new look, Microsoft layoffs, and that $100M market cap NJ deli. But first...
In the May 14, 2024 edition of The Water Coolest… we talked about Keith Gill aka Roaring Kitty’s return to the internet. After a 3-year hiatus, the internet legend tweeted this…
GameStop mooned nearly 75% on the day.
It has proceeded to fall more than 40% from that high-water mark, largely thanks to Roaring Kitty’s much-hyped (and incredibly disappointing) live stream in June of ‘24.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 19 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Hoteling
You guys, I think Brian Chesky just invented hotels…
Airbnb $ABNB ( ▲ 0.89% ) is getting a makeover… and maybe they shouldn’t be making as big of a deal about it as they are.
Earlier this year, ABNB founder and CEO Brian Chesky announced a $250M initiative to make the app “kind of similar to Amazon — to be one place to go for all of your traveling and living needs.”
And, at long last, we know what the hell that diarrhea of the mouth, pulled straight from a Y-Combinator pitch deck, actually means…
The brand known for letting you sleep in strangers’ beds and spend all weekend wondering what’s in the “owner’s only” closet has completely rebuilt its app…
And not just to make finding rentals easier. The app will feel a whole lot more like a concierge. Airbnb guests in more than 260 cities will get access to services like spa treatments, personal training, and prepared meals. Oh, so DoorDash?
When an Airbnb guest logs into the app during their stay, it won’t just be Wi-Fi passwords and reminders to “leave a 5-star review :).” They’ll be greeted by up to 10 categories of services (for a fee, of course).
The goal(s)? Building new revenue streams… and turning your stay in a working-class neighborhood in a Cleveland suburb into more of a White Lotus-like experience. Just me, or does this feel like that time Uber started offering yellow cab rides?
And because god forbid people use a group chat, the new Airbnb app will integrate social features like allowing you to see who else is attending events and upgraded video and photo sharing. This will reportedly be separate from the photos and videos your host illegally recorded of you in their bathroom…
The market panics. Our science progresses.
CYT-108 is entering Phase 2 trials—positioning Cytonics as a biotech outlier with real clinical momentum, not just promises.
Wall Street is jittery. Markets are volatile. But Cytonics isn’t a speculative play on momentum—it’s a data-driven company with a therapy that’s already helped over 10,000 patients.
CYT-108, our lead drug candidate, targets the proteases that degrade cartilage in osteoarthritis. With our Phase 1 trial successfully completed—no drug-related toxicities, strong safety profile—we’re preparing for our next clinical trial.
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Explore our Phase 1 results and join the next stage of growth.
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+ UnitedHealth Group's $UNH ( ▲ 6.4% ) CEO, Andrew Witty, announced that he’s stepping down from his role for “personal reasons”… and, honestly, can you blame the dude (see: Brian Thompson)? He’ll be replaced by former CEO Stephen Hemsley.
For those of you unfamiliar with UnitedHealth’s corporate structure, Brian Thompson was CEO of UnitedHealthcare, UnitedHealth Group’s insurance… hence the whole deny, defend, depose thing.
Witty has had a rough go of it. Not only did he have to deal with the assassination of a colleague, but he also oversaw one of the biggest cyberattacks in US history, and has tried his best (and failed) to deal with out-of-control healthcare costs.
Speaking of healthcare costs… the company also suspended its 2025 guidance on Tuesday… citing spiraling healthcare expenses.
+ “It’s not you, it’s me.” - Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft
Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 0.25% ) is laying off about 3% of its workforce, or 6k employees. According to a MSFT spokesperson, “We’re reducing layers of management… this has 100%, absolutely NOTHING to do with us replacing employees with AI bots at a fraction of the price. Seriously, you guys, this is totally unrelated to advances in AI.”
+ Yes, Saudi Arabia committed to a $600B investment in the US over the next four years. But more importantly, they did THIS…
+ Don’t freak out, but the last time inflation was this low, Archegos was still a successful hedge fund, and Melvin Capital still thought it would end up on the right side of history. April CPI data showed that inflation fell to 2.3% on an annual basis. That wasn’t only below expectations, but it was the lowest since February 2021. Core CPI came in at 2.8%. But most importantly, egg prices fell 12.7% on the month.
That’s the good news. The bad news? We probably won’t see any tariff-related inflation until May CPI data drops… which is probably why the solid April print didn’t get investors fully bricked up.
+ If life has got you down, just remember that the Earth is 4.5B years old, and we happened to be alive during the Hometown Deli saga.
Friendly reminder: in April 2021, Hometown International, a publicly traded deli that was doing ~$18k in sales per year, hit a $100M market cap. This might come as a surprise, but that valuation was achieved largely through f*ckery.
On Tuesday, the father-son duo (Peter Coker Jr. & Sr.) behind the scheme learned their fate after being found guilty of securities fraud. Junior was sentenced to 40 months, but will only serve ~12 after getting credit for time served. Meanwhile, Pops will serve 6 months in prison.
And I think I speak on behalf of the entire TWC community when I say thank you for what might be the greatest white collar crime story of all time.
+ In this economy? It’s not entirely clear why, but the IPO pipeline is flowing like wine. Exhibit A: brokerage app eToro just priced its IPO at $52 per share, above the expected range. We’ll also see Hinge Health take its talents public as soon as this week. Oh, and late Tuesday, Chime, the digital banking startup, filed the paperwork to go public.
+ US stocks “mostly rose on Tuesday, with tech stocks leading a rally after the latest consumer inflation report revealed easing prices in April amid continued euphoria over the US-China trade truce.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “was higher on Tuesday even after data showed slightly cooler than expected inflation for April.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “climbed more than $1.60 a barrel on Tuesday, lifted by a temporary cut in U.S.-China tariffs and a better-than-expected inflation report.” (Reuters)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ JD.com, On Holdings, Sea, Intuitive Machines, CyberArk, Under Armour, and Petroleo Brasileiro reported before the bell
+ Nu Holdings and Oklo dropped earnings after hours
+ The Consumer Price Index report for April dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Global-E and Bitfarms report before the bell
+ Cisco, Red Cat, IREN, Nextracker, and DLocal report after the bell
+ Upstart will hold its AI Day event
+ The three-day Consensus 2025 crypto conference hosted by CoinDesk will take place in Toronto
+ The 2025 Sohn Investment Conference will be held in New York City
+ Harley-Davidson will hold its annual shareholder meeting amid activist pressure from H Partners
Yesterday, I asked, “What is the GOATed ginger ale?”
60.1% of you said “Canada Dry.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Canada Dry: “It's the DRAKE of ginger ale!”
Schweppes: “As long as it's mixed with captain morgan, it's the best”
Seagrams: “Simply the best because it's what my mother bought when I was a kid.”
Other: “Vernor's. It just tastes better with Jameson.”
Canada Dry: “Canada Dry for 99% of the population. Seagrams for alcoholics. The rest are for Walmart bargain hunters...”
Other: “Switch to ginger beer. Reeds, Q, fever tree, all better than any ginger ale”
Here’s today’s question…
Which are you taking for the rest of your life: unlimited free alcohol OR never get a hangover? |
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.
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This investment is speculative, illiquid, and involves a high degree of risk, including the possible loss of your entire investment. You may obtain a copy of the offering circular by visiting the SEC’s website.