TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

Can you say ‘dead cat bounce?’

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 9 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

If you’re reading this it’s too late…

Donny Duties’ reciprocal tariffs teed off at 12:01 AM EST.

And like you driving home after 18 holes and 11 transfusions, nobody is safe. I’ll just leave POTUS’s hit list right here.

Pretty much every US trade partner is staring down the barrel of thicc import taxes. But no nation will be bent over and shown the 50 states quite like China. The White House did its best Lily Philips impression, hanging a 104% tariff on the CCP. If you’re thinking, “boy that escalated quickly,” you’d be correct…

Just days after imposing an additional 34% tariff on China (on top of the 20% already in place), POTUS went all I see your 54% and raise you 50%.

“Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation...” - President Xi

Uncle Sam’s 50% retaliatory tariff is retaliation for China’s… retaliatory tariffs. It’s like the ‘Inception’ of trade levies (speaking of Christopher Nolan… Beijing is reportedly considering banning US films).

You’ll never guess how markets reacted…

Stonks were completely unhinged again yesterday. The S&P 500 was up over 4% at one point before closing down more than 1%. The last time markets went this manic-depressive was 1978… when dire wolves were still extinct.

Early in the session, investors traded Monday’s fear b*ner for one of those er*ctions lasting longer than 4 hours, thanks to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent’s comments that the administration was open to negotiating with terrorists trade partners. South Korea and Japan have reportedly already hit up Barron’s dad with “can u talk?” texts.

Unfortunately, rumors about the aforementioned 50% tariffs on China (keep in mind, DJT didn't make it official until late last night) sent markets death spiraling later in the day. China’s warning that it will “fight to the end” probably didn’t instill confidence either.

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+ Nature is healing. Once again, you can say ‘boys will be boys’ without getting canceled.

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said this about the public war of words between two of the President’s most trusted advisors: “Boys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.”

Elon Musk (perhaps you've heard of him?) called POTUS’ top trade advisor Peter Navarro a “moron” and “dumber than a sack of bricks.” To be fair, at least he didn’t call him a “pedo guy”…

So why’d Elon come at Petey Politics like a spider monkey? Navarro told CNBC, “American people understand, that Elon's a car manufacturer, but he's not a car manufacturer. He's a car assembler, in many cases.” He went on to say that simply assembling cars (vs. making all the parts in America) is bad for the US economy and even a threat to national security.

Of course, the real beef is pretty simple: Navarro is pro-trade war, whereas Elon is in favor of fewer tariffs (especially on those foreign car parts he assembles in the US…).

+ You guys aren’t going to believe this… but Harley-Davidson’s $HOG ( ▼ 4.3% ) German CEO, whose LinkedIn includes a long stint at Puma, is out. Jochen Zeitz’s 1000-year Reich lasted just 5. Despite his best efforts (and Al Bundy-esque skill set), the leader of HOG was unable to pump up sales as younger riders choose smaller, more practical bikes.

+ Ripple just pissed on Gary Gensler’s grave. Just weeks after the Shortseller Enrichment Commission dropped its case against Ripple (it stood accused of “conducting an illegal securities offering”) the sh*tcoin slingers made one of the biggest crypto acquisitions to date.

Ripple is buying crypto primer brokerage Hidden Road (a name that just screams “white collar crime”) for $1.25B. HR currently clears more than $3T for more than 300 institutional clients.

+ Was the name GirthyHog taken? Network software company FatPipe rose in its first day of trading yesterday. And if there has been a worse time to IPO in the past decade, I can’t think of it.

+ Good news for anyone whose PowerPoint job will be taken by AI but can’t cut it assembling iPhones at a Foxconn factory somewhere in Louisiana. There’s an even more blue-collar option: coal mining. POTUS sent shares of coal companies mooning after signing executive orders that should boost production of the fossil fuel.

+ US stocks “dropped Tuesday as a relief rally proved short-lived and investor anxiety returned ahead of President Donald Trump's next tariff deadline that will see a cumulative tariff of 104% slapped on China just after midnight.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “climbed again Tuesday after a weak Treasury auction. Traders also weighed the effect of President Donald Trump’s revamped tariff policy on the outlook for economic growth and inflation.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices edged higher Tuesday, recovering a small portion of recent losses as traders remained on edge over slowing demand amid a rapidly escalating U.S.-led trade war.” (Reuters)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Walgreens and Tilray dropped earnings before the bell

+ Cal-Maine Foods reported after hours

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Delta Airlines reports before the bell

+ Constellation Brands reports after hours

+ New country-specific tariffs will become effective

+ The three-day Google Cloud Next event will begin in Las Vegas

+ Walmart will hold an investment community meeting

+ The Federal Reserve will release the minutes of its last meeting

+ Nasdaq will release its short interest data report

Here’s today’s question…

Let’s talk about these dire wolves that just became un-extinct (kinda)…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

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Advertiser Disclosure

This is a paid advertisement for Boxabl’s Regulation A offering. Please read the offering circular here. This is a message from Boxabl.

*Reserving a Nasdaq ticker does not guarantee a future listing on Nasdaq or indicate that BOXABL meets any of Nasdaq's listing criteria to do so.