TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

What a time to be alive. Glad you’re on this long, strange trip with me.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

“Dad, what was April 9, 2025 like?”

On Wednesday, POTUS let every other nation out of the lockers he stuffed them in last week. That includes China… but only so he could bring President Xi to the boy’s room for a swirly.

Donny Duties rewarded (er, let everyone out for good behavior) every country on Earth for not retaliating against America’s reciprocal tariffs/not being China. Just hours after the Liberation Day tariffs took effect, POTUS hit everyone with a Zack Morris timeout.

All 90 nations that were hit with bonus reciprocal tariffs (so, above and beyond the standard 10%) will get a 90-day reprieve. They’ll still have to pay the baseline 10% tariffs (and come to the negotiation table), though.

One of these is not like the others…

While the White House was informing its trade partners that Christmas came early, it went scorched Earth on Beijing (again). Tariffs on China got jacked up to 125% “effective immediately.” That was retaliation for President Xi increasing import taxes on the US to 84%… and I’m pretty sure we’re just making up numbers at this point.

Markets reacted accordingly…

Let’s go to the tape…

Around 1 PM EST: The S&P 500 was up ~1.5%

1:18 PM EST: POTUS posted this to TRUTH Social: “I have authorized a 90 day PAUSE”

By 1:25 (after everyone confirmed that this wasn’t another Walter Bloomberg troll job), the S&P 500 jumped 4.25 percentage points. As in, the index went from +1.5% to +5.75% in the amount of time it takes you to disappoint your significant other in the bedroom.

When the dust cleared, the S&P 500 closed up 9.5% on the day.

And this is the part where I start telling you how f*cking epic this all was…

That marks the S&P 500’s biggest one-day gain since 2008 and third largest since WWII. The Dow and Nasdaq also had the kinda days that will have you looking like this when your kids ask you, “dad, what was April 9, 2025 like?”

And at least one record was totally shattered. Trading volume on the day was like Peter North after No-Nut November (read: highest trading volume in Wall Street history).

Investors are watching this fast-growing tech company

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Their disruptive tech, EarnPhone and Earn OS, has helped users earn and save an eye-popping $325M+, driving 32,418% revenue growth from 2019-2022 and a massive 45M+ consumer base. And having secured partnerships with Walmart and Best Buy, Mode’s not stopping there…

Like Uber turned vehicles into income-generating assets, Mode is turning smartphones into an easy passive income source. One important difference? You have a chance to invest early in Mode’s pre-IPO offering at just $0.26/share.

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+ “IOS… know what that stands for? Internet. On. Satellites.” - Russ Hanneman (… I’m pretty sure)

Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 1.31% ) is playing catch-up to Starlink. Last night (assuming it didn’t end like Roman Roy’s failure to launch and make me look really stupid for writing this), Amazon Kuiper launched its first batch of satellites into orbit. Kuiper has its sights set on putting 3k satellites into space to offer internet to people who hate Elon (so, like half the country). Meanwhile, the Coke to Amazon’s Pepsi (read: SpaceX/Starlink) already has 8k satellites in orbit and 5M customers. First rocket advantage.

But the timing for Amazon might be about right. Big ticket Starlink clients like Poland might be tired of getting b*tch slapped on X by Elon. In case you didn’t know, Poland has been paying for Starlink service for Ukraine during the war with Russia (because, like a good neighbor, Poland is there). But, Elon slammed Polish foreign minister Radoslaw Sikorski for complaining that Starlink was unreliable.

+ Now that the streaming wars are over (friendly reminder: Netflix $NFLX ( ▲ 0.43% ) won, which I guess makes Quibi Denmark if we’re going with WW2 references), it’s time to suffer through the AI wars.

Like the Apple of AI startups (read: late to the party), Anthropic just introduced the “Max” plan for its Claude chatbot at $200 per month for priority access and new models. The suckers paying Claude users will also get access to a soon-to-be released voice mode. Or they could just head over to OpenAI and get access to all of that right now…

+ This is the worst thing to happen to the weight loss industry since Tony Perkis Jr. took over Camp Hope. The heath and wellness company formerly known as WeightWatchers $WW ( ▲ 168.02% )  (think: WW) is reportedly considering filing for bankruptcy. Turns out, mainlining Ozempic is much easier than counting calories and treating your body like a temple. Shares plummeted 62% after the WSJ broke the news.

+ Meghan Markle really out here doing what she does best (think: making stuff about her). The Duchess of Sussex warned that the trade war will lead to a US recession… but she has the answer: Americans should buy her As Ever brand honeys and jams to feel better. No, this is not an Onion article.

+ They did the math. Apparently, if Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 0.44% ) moved iPhone production to the US, its costs would increase by 25% in labor alone and by 90% on imported parts. Your move, OpenAI/Jony Ive.

+ US stocks saw “their biggest one-day gains in years, with the S&P 500 recording its largest rise since 2008, while the dollar gained and Treasuries pared losses on Wednesday after U.S. President Donald Trump declared a temporary U.S. pause on tariffs.” (Reuters)

+ The 10-year yield, “which had jumped to a seven-week high, maintained higher levels after President Donald Trump said on Wednesday he authorized a 90-day pause for most of his new tariffs but was raising the tariff rate for China to 125%, effective immediately.” (Reuters)

+ Oil “prices climbed more than 4% on Wednesday, bouncing back from four-year lows earlier in the session, after U.S. President Donald Trump said he would further increase tariffs on China but pause the tariffs he announced last week for most other countries.” (Reuters)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Delta Airlines reported before the bell

+ Constellation Brands reported after hours

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Lovesac reports before the bell

+ Walmart will hold its annual shareholder meeting

+ TD Synnex will hold its Investor Day event

+ The Consumer Price Index report for March will drop

Yesterday, I asked, “Are you ok with humans bringing back extinct animals?”

66.8% of you said F*CK NO, have you seen Jurassic Park?

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• F*CK NO, have you seen Jurassic Park?: “I guess the carnage can't get much worse than the tariffs but still. I'd rather not. ”

• Yeah, it’s pretty awesome: “Bring everything back and see of they can survive this time. Survival of the Fittest going forward.”

• F*CK NO, have you seen Jurassic Park?: “Many species went extinct because of natural selection, let them rest in peace. ”

• Yeah, it’s pretty awesome: “I mean, let's be smart about this and leave the dinosaurs alone but Wooly Mammoths roaming around again would be pretty sweet.”

• F*CK NO, have you seen Jurassic Park?: “This is absolutely crazy. A so called non-profit, backed by billionaires. They want to bring back the wholly mammoth. Why don’t they use their resources to make the world a better place.”

Here’s today’s question…

Good news! Economists think it’s possible to bring iPhone production to the US, after all.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

Ad Disclosures

The rankings are based on submitted applications and public company database research, with winners selected based on their fiscal-year revenue growth percentage over a three-year period.

Mode Mobile recently received their ticker reservation with Nasdaq ($MODE), indicating an intent to IPO in the next 24 months. An intent to IPO is no guarantee that an actual IPO will occur.

Please read the offering circular and related risks at invest.modemobile.com. This is a paid advertisement for Mode Mobile’s Regulation A+ Offering.