- The Water Coolest
- Posts
- 💦 I'll cut you
Hey there weekday warriors,
Yesterday’s CPI print had J-Poww going all ‘I’ll cut you’ to interest rates.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 49 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
BTW, if you had trouble falling asleep last night, or woke up feeling like you didn’t get the rest you needed, you should check out Beam. Their Dream Powder drink mix works wonders. Thank me later.
+ US stocks “rose Wednesday in a bout of volatile trading, as investors weighed what the latest U.S. inflation data means for Federal Reserve policy. Tech shares led a rebound from steep session lows.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield “gained on Wednesday as Wall Street assessed a mixed consumer price index report and its implications for the Federal Reserve’s rate move next week.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “climbed more than 2% on Wednesday, driven by fears of lengthy production shutdowns in the U.S. offshore oil patch, which Hurricane Francine was barreling through on the way to landfall in Louisiana.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “extended losses as positive United States macro data failed to lift crypto markets.” (TradingView)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +8.0% 2) Visa -0.4% 3) Trump Media -10.4%
The market moves you need to know about…
– In case you were wondering who ‘won’ the debate, I’ll just leave this right here. Shares of Trump Media and Technology fell 10.4% the day after President Trump’s debate vs. VP Kamala Harris. As of late, shares of DJT have lived and died by Donny Politics’ campaign momentum…
+ Imagine not being able to find enough fat people on God’s green Earth. Back in July Roche released “positive” data related to its weight loss pill candidate. Just one (er, six) problem(s)… the study only had six participants. Shares dropped 6.0% after details of the study emerged. Meanwhile, competitors Eli Lilly and Novo Nordisk jumped 2.1% and 4.20%, respectively.
We spend about one-third of our lives sleeping… or trying to
One night of bad sleep can leave you feeling exhausted and unproductive. And probably makes you kind of a d*ck. Believe me, I have two kids under 3.
Over the long term, poor rest can lead to memory issues, trouble with concentration, weakened immunity, and the risk of high blood pressure.
Enter: Beam.
Fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up refreshed.
Just mix one scoop of Beam's Dream Powder with hot water or milk and drink before bed (BTW, I drink it cold, and it’s still good).
Beam's top-selling Dream flavor, Brownie Batter, is running low. But they’re giving weekday warriors access before it sells out.
Enjoy a guilt-free dessert and a solid night's rest. Right now, TWC readers receive up to 40% off and access to the limited supply of Brownie Batter.
Yes, this is a sponsored post. And, yes, I actually drink this stuff. And yes, it really works for better sleep.
I’ll cut you
Source: Giphy
Brace yourselves for ‘Why the price of eggs is skyrocketing’ headlines, ladies and gentlemen…
In August, the price of eggs climbed 4.8% according to yesterday’s Consumer Price Index report. You might recall that humanity lost its collective mind last time a dozen unfertilized reproductive cells were selling for the price of a GPU.
Elsewhere in the report, the Labor Department indicated that headline inflation was in line with predictions: +0.2% month over month and +2.5% vs. last August. Don’t freak out, but those are the lowest price increases we’ve seen since February 2021… back when GameStop was trading above $80.
The core inflation print was a little less cooperative…
The price data sans food and energy came in at +0.3% and +3.2% for the month and year, respectively. The problem? Month-over-month core inflation was slightly higher than the Street’s prediction.
So what?
Unsurprisingly, this had investors jumping to conclusion, like “the Fed can’t risk a 50 basis point cut now.”
Of course, they’re probably onto something. The Fed was likely already on the fence about whether they’d cut by 25 or 50 basis points. This almost certainly sealed the deal. Future’s markets agreed. They’re now pricing in an 85% chance of a 25 basis point cut.
Stocks didn’t know what to make of the news early in the session. Shares initially tumbled, before rising steadily throughout the afternoon.
+ Why do I have a feeling that historians are going to look back on this moment and say ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have given OpenAI all that money after all?’
According to sources familiar with the situation, the ChatGPT maker is looking to raise $6.5B at a $150B valuation. To put things in perspective, it was most recently valued at $86B.
All the usual suspects will be involved. Thrive Capital will lead the round, but Microsoft, Nvidia, and Apple are expected to beg Sam Altman for a little suckle from the teet.
And just in case $6.5B wasn’t enough to make AI sentient and wipe out the human race, banks are lining up to offer OpenAI a $5B revolving credit facility. Likely at favorable terms in hopes they can get in on OpenAI’s eventual IPO.
Per a memo earlier this year, any new funding will be used to “support the need for computing power and other operating expenses”… and definitely, 100%, in no way, compensate all the internet publishers it has been copy-pasting data from to train its LLM.
+ What’s the point of snitching if you still get jail time?
Caroline Ellison’s (the former head of Alameda Research) lawyers recommended that their client not serve any jail time for her role in the FTX sh*tstorm. They cited “time served".”
She already agreed to a plea deal. And you might recall that she flipped on her former lover/boss Sam Bankman Fried quicker than you can say “Nothing like regular amphetamine use to make you appreciate how dumb a lot of normal, non-medicated human experience is.”
What else?
+ US 30-Year Mortgage Rate Slides to Lowest Since February 2023. Ok, now do home prices…
+ Griffin Helps Bankroll Contract for New US Men’s Soccer Coach. To be fair, one man can only buy so many stegosauruses and first-editions of the Constitution.
+ Bill Gates shares the single-minded attitude he used to grow Microsoft. Does it involve drinking poop water?
+ Best Ways to Build Wealth After 40. Step #2: kick your deadbeat kids out.
+ One of the world’s largest consulting firms will spy on employee locations as it forces workers back into the office. This is what you get for selling your soul to the devil…
+ 9 Reasons this Card is Your Ticket to Your Dream Vacation. Drinks on a flight that you paid for with points just hit different. Change my mind.
🔥 This 29-year-old millionaire doesn’t own a home — here’s how he spends and invests his money instead. Spoiler: drugs and hookers.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday, August CPI data dropped.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ August PPI data is released
+ Kroger and Lovesac report before the bell
+ Adobe and RH drop earnings after the close
+ The European Central Bank is expected to cut rates by 25 basis points
Yesterday, I asked, “What is the goated Campbell's canned soup?”
Chicken noodle
Tomato
Chunky
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Write in: "Call me a snob but I am OUT on canned soup." Snob.
Write in: "You left out alphabet soup! Childhood favorite. And then tomato as long as it comes with a grilled cheese sandwich."
Write in: "Italian wedding. Those little meatballs are what dreams are made of." My Italian grandmother just rolled over in her grave…
Write in: "Manhattan Clam Chowder, nothing else matters." Bro. Gross.
Tomato: "Tomato soup is a condiment, pretending to be soup, that allows you to have a grilled cheese as an adult. And it's peak eating."
Here’s today’s question…
How many minutes is "late" to work? |
+ Did Gronk just single-handedly end the September sell-off? You be the judge…
🔥 This Dominos vs. Google stock chart has the internet’s brain in a pretzel…
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.