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Hey there weekday warrior,
Crisis averted. Zyn is safe (literally).
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS, markets are closed on Monday… and so is TWC. See you Tuesday.
Inzyncible
Source: Giphy
*JUUL punching air right now*
It appears the US FDA is tired of being stuffed in lockers by the cool kids. The US Food and Drug Administration just gave Zyn the green light (… to keep selling enormous quantities of its synthetic nicotine pouches to people who look like they played lacrosse at Duke).
That’s right, turns out your preferred brand of lip pillows was living in a bit of a legal gray area. Despite being on the market for years, the FDA just got around to officially authorizing its sale. It was the first brand to get the stamp of approval.
But to say the FDA simply allowed Zyn to exist would be an understatement. They basically endorsed Zynnabons as part of a balanced breakfast…
According to Matthew Farrelly, the director of the Office of Science in the FDA’s Center for Tobacco Products, “The data show that these nicotine pouch products meet that bar [are actually better than smoking] by benefiting adults who use cigarettes and/or smokeless tobacco products and completely switch to these products.”
So put down that nic stick (and the Red No. 3) and get yourself a 6 MG wintergreen, spit-free pouch because it’s got a “lower risk of cancer and other serious health conditions.” Those are his (a real Ph.D.) words, not mine…
Furthermore, there was no evidence that there has been an uptick in underage use of Zyn… and something tells me the FDA is currently being run by the University of Alabama Sigma Chi exec board. You might recall that using the same marketing tactics as P. Diddy was JUUL’s downfall.
Philip Morris (+1.0%), which owns Zyn, didn’t exactly moon on the news, though. Probably because shares are already up nearly 30% over the last year… thanks largely to the success of the founding father of synthetic nicotine pouches, Thomas Jefferzyn.
While Zyn is the first to gain approval from the FDA, this could open the floodgates, and make the space more crowded than spiked seltzer circa summer ‘24.
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Target (-0.9%) raised its Q4 sales forecast by 1.5%... but its profit outlook didn’t budge. If it seems like the math ain’t mathing, that’s because it isn’t. Despite a spike in holiday shopping, with record-high sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Target has been struggling to move products without offering steep discounts (read: doesn’t know how profit margins work).
And it appears Americans weren’t just shopping at Target. December retail sales came in as expected (+0.4% vs. November) yesterday, because consumers can’t stop, won’t stop.
+ Nintendo (+2.6%) just unveiled (and hyped up) the new Switch 2 console. But before we get our officially licensed Pikachu boxer briefs all full of baby batter, let's keep in mind that for every Nintendo system Nintendo that is a Goldeneye, they also give us a Turok. (think: on the one hand... Gameboy, DS, N64, Wii…. on the other… GameCube, 3DS, Wii U).
Nintendo dropped a Switch 2 teaser vid Thursday that showed off a bigger display and bigger controllers (ah yes, the Apple approach to product innovation). It’s been a long 8-year dry spell since the Switch premiered, which is a pretty long stretch… for a wider screen. Also, for anyone keeping score at home, that means we’ll have gotten two new Nintendo Consoles before we get a new GTA…
American Express (-0.2%) is going to have to pay up (to the tune of $238M) for deceptive marketing. Amex (double) misinformed customers that their expensive wire transfer fees were tax-deductible and that the “Membership Reward” points customers earned for completing said transfers were tax-free. The DOJ has been working on this one for about 10 years, DOGE help us all.
It’s been a tough week for sh*tty low-profile banks across the board. Earlier this week, The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau sued Capital One (-1.1%) for its very own deceptive marketing strategy (misleading consumers about their savings rates). Defi stans be like…
+ Bank of America (-0.9%) and Morgan Stanley (+4.0%) reported big swingin’ earnings just a day after Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, and Wells Fargo put up big numbers. BOA earnings were up 111% year over year, and Morgan Stanley clocked in a 145% YOY earnings gain. Investment banking fees pumped with dealmaking and trading volatility on the rise. Wall Street Trump dancing all week long.
+ Gen Z loves maximalist home decor — here's all the wacky styles they crave. Shiplap… save you a click.
🔥 7 Types of Homes Expected To Soar in Value by the End of 2025. I’ve got bad news if you live in a house where an ax murder occurred…
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
+ US stocks “closed lower Thursday, as the major indexes struggled to build on the previous day's surge amid another round of big bank earnings and a slide in tech stocks.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “slipped Thursday as inflation fears waned and comments from a Federal Reserve official raised hopes for multiple rate cuts this year.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices settled lower on Thursday with Yemen's Houthi militia expected to halt attacks on ships in the Red Sea, and investors weighing strong U.S. retail sales data. ” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “crossed the $100,000 threshold three times before retreating slightly on Thursday.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -1.9% 2) Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing +3.8% 3) Apple -4.04%
⏪ Yesterday we got earnings from Taiwan Semi, UnitedHealth, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley, and US Bank, plus December retail sales data.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Not a whole lot going on today…
Yesterday, I asked, “What's the worst (real) city in the US?”
SF won… easily. Followed by Baltimore and Detroit.
Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Chicago: “Chicago aka Crook County aka ChiRaq” ChiRaq will forever be the best nickname of a city, and it's not even close.
Cleveland: “My husband's from Cleveland.” Uhh.
Orlando: “there's no place I'd rather sweat my balls off less than Orlando. all of the disney adults make it inhospitable."
Portland, OR: “Portland, OR. Just a bunch of weirdos trying to out-weird each other. Like, why did someone just show me their butthole? I'm just trying to get to work.” Pics or it didn't happen.
Houston: "Come for the humidity, stay for the dysentery”
St. Louis: “St. Louis is strait ass!”
And here’s today’s question…
New Switch is dropping. So…
What's the best Nintendo console?You better not say "Virtual Boy" |
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.