TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

Today, we’re getting into Nvidia’s yuge Q1, Hailey Bieber’s three-comma sale, and a tariff showdown closer to home is brewing. But first...

In the May 29, 2019 edition of The Water Coolest, we covered Citigroup’s decision to “hard pass” on collabing with Apple to launch the Apple Card (the preferred credit card of people who eat pizza with a fork and knife). Citi’s rationale? Concerns that the deal wouldn’t be particularly lucrative.

You probably recall that Goldman ended up getting in bed with Apple… and it was an absolute sh*tshow that damn near cost CEO DJ D-Sol his job. Things were so bad that Goldman didn’t just look to end the partnership early in 2023, but it exited the consumer finance space entirely.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 19 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Jensen can’t keep getting away with this…

Listen, I’m not saying Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 1.24% ) is cooking the books. And I’m definitely not saying I should collect the Publisher’s Clearing House-sized whistleblower check if I’m right. But what I am saying is that if Jensen Huang were in the MLB, and he was putting up stat lines like this, the “random" drug testers would be knocking on his door…

Leave some for the rest of us…

Seriously, you guys, we are watching the 2001 Barry Bonds of capitalism.

Nvidia didn’t just beat on the top and bottom lines in Q1, it was an analyst expectations bloodbath. The company’s sales grew by 69% (nice) overall, and the data center biz grew sales by 73% YOY. Even its gaming division, which was once its biggest but is pretty much an afterthought at this point, saw sales expand 42%.

In case you were concerned Jensen was losing sight of the bottom line, have no fear… net income popped 26% vs. the same period last year.

They can’t keep it up… can they?

To paint a picture of just how epic NVDA’s current run is, consider this: its guidance for the current quarter came in just shy of the Street’s expectations ($45B vs. $45.9B expected)… but only because recent restrictions on shipments of chips to China lowered that projection by ~$8B.

Translation? Were it not for those H20 bans, the company that Intel hopes to be when it grows up would have blown away the Street’s estimates.

Shares did exactly what you’d expect.

Sharing homes made investors rich. Sharing data could be bigger.

Remember when people said "nobody will rent their homes to strangers"? Early Airbnb investors who ignored the skeptics saw $1k grow to $5M at the company’s IPO.

Airbnb grew to $100 billion by unlocking value in homes, and now Mode Mobile is doing the same with an asset owned by 7 billion people – smartphones.

Instead of renting spare rooms, Mode users monetize their screen time:

• 45M+ users earning from everyday activities (games, music, charging)

• Helped users save and earn over $325M+ 

And with their Nasdaq ticker ($MODE) secured, you now have a limited time to invest at just $0.30/share

*Ad disclosures below

+ Buckle up f*ckleheads. A three-panel court (which kinda makes it sound like a daytime courtroom reality show that comes on after Judge Judy reruns) ruled that Donny Politics doesn’t actually have the authority to implement his Liberation Day tariffs.

The decision means that Uncle Sam must immediately roll back all tariffs in question and stop collecting any duties. The White House immediately appealed the decision… and we can all agree this is going to be must-see TV, right?

US stock futures mooned on the news. Wait until investors realize foreign countries can implement tariffs on us, but we can’t fight back…

+ Elon’s time in DC is coming to an end, in an official capacity, at least. He bid farewell to the President and his role as head of DOGE. But not for the reason you think (because his rockets keep exploding). It had to do with his status as a “special government employee.” Technically, he can only serve for 130 days. TYFYS.

+ Just when you thought Justin Bieber couldn't get any more insufferable… his supermodel wife sells her beauty brand for $1B…

E.l.f. Beauty $ELF ( ▲ 1.61% ) is buying Hailey Bieber’s skincare juggernaut Rhode for $800M in cash and stock… and an additional $200M based on performance. Of course, judging by Rhode’s growth, which has been quicker than Hailey’s uncle’s trigger finger, “performing” won’t be an issue.

Eyes lip face’s (just saved you the “what does E.l.f. stand for” Google search) CEO shared some inside baseball: “In less than three years, they’ve [Rhode] gone from zero to $212 million in net sales, direct-to-consumer only, with only 10 products.”

+ The Fed minutes be like: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The notes from the Central Bank boondoggle earlier this month told us what we already know: “uncertainty about the economic outlook has increased further.” You might recall the Fed kept rates unchanged and pointed out it was in a holding pattern given the uncertainty caused by tariffs.

+ Surely the Elon’s detractors won’t zero in on the fact that he’s entered into an agreement with a dude accused of drug trafficking, fraud, and some other seriously sketchy sh*t in France. xAI has reportedly (Elon denied a contract has been inked) agreed to pay messaging app Telegram $300M to force the Grok chatbot down its ~1B users’ throats.

+ “I’m excited to announce…” LinkedIn post incoming. Stellantis $STLA ( ▲ 1.96% ) , the maker of Dodge, Jeep, and Chrysler, has finally chosen a new CEO… 6 months after it fired Carlos Tavares. Antonia Filosa, Stellantis’ current Americas COO, will take the wheel. If you’re wondering why it took so long to make an internal hire, it’s probably because Stellantis couldn’t afford to get it wrong. Sales have been declining since 2023 and fell 14% year over year in the most recent quarter. Woof.

+ There is NO shame in Zuck’s game. After copying pretty much every big tech innovation over the past two decades, Zuckerbot is going a bit more analog. Meta $META ( ▲ 1.91% ) will reportedly open up a bunch of retail stores (a la Apple Store) to allow users to get hands on with its products.

+ Make debt your b*tch. There's a much easier way to pay down crippling debt faster, you guys. Spoiler: it's using a no-interest credit card. Some of the top credit card experts identified one of their favorites that puts interest on ice until nearly 2027 AND offers up to 5% cash back on qualifying purchases. Start paying down debt faster with this top pick. [FYI, this is a partner post]

+ US stocks “slipped on Wednesday as investors parsed the latest earnings reports and Federal Reserve meeting minutes while awaiting Nvidia’s quarterly figures.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “advanced on Wednesday, with the 30-year bond rate touching above a key level as investors parsed the minutes from the Federal Reserve’s policy meeting that took place earlier this month.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “gained more than 1% on Wednesday on supply concerns as OPEC+ agreed to leave their output policy unchanged and as the U.S. barred Chevron from exporting Venezuelan crude.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “fell slightly on Wednesday, remaining near its recent record high, as investors closely monitored developments from the ongoing Bitcoin 2025 conference in Las Vegas.” (Investing.com)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Macy's, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Dick's Sporting Goods dropped earnings before the bell

+ Nvidia, Salesforce, e.l.f. Beauty, C3.ai, HP, Synopsys, SentinelOne, Pure Storage, and Veeva Systems reported after hours

+ The Federal Reserve released the minutes from the last meeting of the FOMC

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Best Buy, Royal Bank of Canada, Burlington Stores, Foot Locker, Li Auto, and Kohl’s report before the bell

+ Costco, Dell, Marvell, Zscaler, Ulta Beauty, UiPath, Elastic N.V., NetApp, and Ambarella report after hours

Yesterday, I asked, “When are we showering?”

54.2% of you said “In the morning.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• In the morning: “If your answer is anything else don't sit next to me. ”

• At night: “Why would you get into bed dirty?”

• Both: “I love my shower. It is my fortress of solitude.”

• In the morning: “Go to the gym, shower, go to the office. On the days I work from home, late morning/early afternoon. My dog doesn’t care how I look. ”

• At night: “You sick, sick people that go to bed dirty, you wash your sheets every day?”

• Both: “Need it to feel good in the morning, but also how can you possibly go to bed in a whole days filth at night?”

Here’s today’s question…

Let’s assume you’re in the office 5 days a week.

How lucky are we to be alive right now, you guys?

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

Ad Disclosures

*Mode Mobile recently received their ticker reservation with Nasdaq ($MODE), indicating an intent to IPO in the next 24 months. An intent to IPO is no guarantee that an actual IPO will occur.

*The Deloitte rankings are based on submitted applications and public company database research, with winners selected based on their fiscal-year revenue growth percentage over a three-year period.

*Please read the offering circular and related risks at invest.modemobile.com.