Hey there weekday warriors,

Listen, I’d like the planet to be around for my great-great-grandchildren as much as the next guy. But I also don’t really trust other humans and their grimy a** cups…

Beginning this week, Starbucks will let you use your own personal cup in-store… as long as it’s clean and less than 40 oz. (probably not a coincidence, that’s how big Stanley cups are…)

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

• The Fed be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Disney vs. Trian just got (more) interesting

• JOLTS data drops

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 8 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “ended the second session of the year down again in extended profit-taking on Wednesday after a strong finish to 2023, with minutes from the Federal Reserve's December meeting failing to shake off the funk hanging over markets.” (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “finished lower on Wednesday, after briefly topping the 4% mark in morning trading, as minutes from the Federal Reserve's December meeting raised uncertainty about the path of monetary policy in 2024." (Morningstar)

+ Oil “climbed on Wednesday, settling up about 3% after a disruption at Libya's top oilfield added to fears that mounting tensions in the Middle East could disrupt global oil supplies.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “sank Wednesday, reversing part of a recent rally that pushed the cryptocurrency to a 21-month high” (WSJ)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Marathon Digital +2.20% 2) Visa -0.34% 3) Tesla -4.01%.

“Do I really look like a guy with a plan?” - Jerome Powell

“The f*ck if I know…” - the Fed

The Fed minutes from December’s FOMC meeting reeked of Fed indecision. Despite the dot plot indicating 3 rate cuts, the actual conversations at last month’s get-together didn’t offer much in the way of when we can expect cuts (or even if they’ll actually happen).

According to the minutes, the Fed’s “actual policy path will depend on how the economy evolves.” Duh…

So what did we find out?

If you see some Central Bankers with a sh*t-eating grin on their face, it’s because they’re pretty jacked up about how far they’ve come in the fight against inflation. The minutes pointed to “clear progress.”

Unsurprisingly, the minutes also indicated that most of the Fed members believe its current tightening policy is like the Sopranos… it’s over.

Of course, that’s about all the Fed can agree on…

And that’s a big problem for markets…

Investors are currently pricing in 3 more rate cuts than the Fed is. And with each passing day that the Fed/FOMC members aren’t dovish af, investors feel the walls closing in.

Investor sentiment could shift quickly and wreak havoc on the markets if the Fed doesn’t get to slashing like it’s clearing the rainforest for some cash crops. Or at the very least, talking about cutting rates…

Case in point: markets got destroyed for a second day in a row following the less-than-ideal minutes. The S&P 500 fell 0.80% while the Nasdaq lost nearly 1.2%.

+ Mortgages, auto loans, credit cards: Expert predictions for interest rates in 2024 (Read)

+ ‘How To Get Rich’ Star Shares His Best Piece Of Wealth Advice For People In Their 20s (Read)

+ ICYMI... Keep this line off your resume, says ex-Disney recruiter: ‘There’s zero benefit’ (Read)

+ Mickey Mouse just went all “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight, old man.”

The Disney vs. Trian (Nelson Peltz’s fund) proxy fight just got a whole lot more intriguing. That’s because two other activist investors are backing Disney in the pissing match. ValueAct will “advise on strategy” and Blackwells offered up some Disney-approved board nominees (read: ones not named Nelson Peltz).

ICYMI, Trian has put forward Peltz and Disney’s former CFO as board nominees with the goal of cutting costs and pushing out creating a succession plan for CEO Bob Iger.

Shares of DIS were up ~1% on the day. (Read)

+ It’s a big week for jobs data. On Friday, we’ll get the December jobs report. And yesterday we got JOLTS data, which showed 8.79M job openings at the end of November. That’s lower than November’s 8.85M and below economist’s expectations.

While it isn’t a huge dropoff, it’s a step in the right direction. The Fed has been looking for the job market to cool off to take some pressure off of inflation. Because if your sorry a** is living in the streets, you can’t be buying stuff… (Read)

+ Your move, Elon. GM is doing prospective EV buyers a solid. Earlier this week, a bunch of GM EVs lost their $7,500 tax credit thanks to rule changes that went into effect Jan. 1. So Mary Barra and Co. decided they’ll offer a $7,500 rebate on cars that lost out.

Why was General Motors feeling so generous? Perhaps because, once again, it was the top car manufacturer in the US, having sold 2.6M vehicles. That was well above its closest competitor, Toyota (2.25M).

Still, shares were down ~2% on the day. Perhaps investors remembered all those Chevy Bolt fires? Or the catastrophe that is the Cruise autonomous vehicle startup? (Read)

+ You hate to see it. Xerox is laying off roughly 15% of its 20k employees. And you’re never going to believe why… to create “efficiencies across all geographies we serve.” It’s nice to know that the pain and suffering won’t be restricted to one region. Shares were down more than 12% on the day. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Conagra and Walgreens Boots Alliance report earnings

Yesterday, I asked What’s the best Chick-fil-A sauce?

Probably not terribly surprising, but Chick-fil-A sauce won. What was surprising was what came in second: the honey roasted BBQ (which inexplicably comes in different packaging).

Here’s today’s question…

Starbucks is about to start letting randos hand over their own cups to baristas. I can say with confidence that this may turn into the biggest controversy since Starbucks’ red Christmas cups sh*tshow. So…

Are you ok with your Starbucks (or go-to coffee spot) allowing customers to bring their own cup?

Reply directly to this email with your thoughts. I’ll share the results tomorrow.

Oh, and one more things…

Interested in sponsoring The Water Coolest? Fill out this form and I’ll be in touch. Or reach out directly to [email protected].

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.