- The Water Coolest
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- 💦 Killing the mood
Hey there weekday warriors,
Imagine being so bad at your job that you get paid to NOT do it anymore. Texas A&M Head Football Coach Jimbo Fisher got fired over the weekend (friendly reminder: just two weeks before the holidays). And will get a $75M buyout (spoiler: the largest in the history of college football). Jimbo is playing chess and everyone else is playing checkers…
Here’s what else we’re getting into…
Moody’s is killing the vibe
Edtech 2U gets schooled
An Elon biopic is coming
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 12 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks "rallied Friday, recovering the ground lost in the previous session, as Treasury yields stabilized." (CNBC)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield "was little changed on Friday as investors considered what could be ahead for inflation and monetary policy following comments from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell." (CNBC)
+ Oil "gained about 2% on Friday as Iraq voiced support for OPEC+'s oil cuts ahead of a meeting in two weeks and as some speculators covered massive short positions ahead of weekend uncertainty." (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin is hovering around $37k.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24-hours were: 1) Nvidia +2.95% 2) Tesla +2.22% 3) AMD +4.49%.
Killing the Mood
Moody’s leadership be like… (Source: Giphy)
“You trying to catch these hands?” - Janet Yellen to Moody’s
Moody’s sent a shot across the bow of the US of A on Friday. It cut the United States’ credit rating outlook to negative. And, this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get a one-way all-expense-paid trip to Gitmo…
To be clear, Moody’s didn’t cut the rating, just the outlook. Think: the pre-cum of a downgrade. Going into Friday, debt in the land of the free and the home of the massive defense budgets was rated Aaa with a “stable” outlook.
Ok, maybe they have a point…
Things in the US have been more unstable than that lone-wolf type at work who you try to stay friendly with… you know, just in case…
The Buzz Killington’s over at Moody’s cited the obvious… the US’ crippling debt load. The agency said what we’re all thinking: “Moody’s expects that the US’ fiscal deficits will remain very large, significantly weakening debt affordability.”
Moody’s also pointed to the looming government shutdown and political f*ckery (spoiler: the one we kicked down the road over the summer): “Continued political polarization within US Congress raises the risk that successive governments will not be able to reach consensus on a fiscal plan to slow the decline in debt affordability.”
Friendly reminder: the government is funded through the end of this week (November 17th) and it looks like an 11th-hour deal is the best-case scenario at the moment.
Both the Treasury and the White House clapped back at Moody’s. Well, technically, the Biden administration used it as an opportunity to throw Republicans under the bus because there are no days off in politicking.
Something YUGE is brewing at The Water Coolest…
The biggest product launch in the history of The Water Coolest is coming THIS WEEK.
I’m super f*cking excited to share it with you in just a few days. It’s something I’ve been wanting to build for years. And I’ve been working tirelessly on it since the day TWC went independent (again). Spoiler: all that survey feedback helped me get it just right.
And if you want to be the first to know all about it, you need to JOIN THE WAIT LIST NOW.
Joining the waitlist is totally free and takes like 3 seconds.
+ 3 podcast episodes to help you be more productive today—including 1 that’ll increase your productivity by 90% (Read)
+ ‘T-bill and chill’: Why Jack Bogle’s strategy of ‘lazy’ investing is making a comeback (Read)
+ 18-year-old got hired as a Google engineer—his dad shares his No. 1 parenting rule: I take a ‘hands off approach’ (Read)
+ ICYMI yesterday... Here Is The Exact Salary That Defines Success For Gen Z and Millennials (Read)
Clubhouse walked (read: raised from a16z at a $4B valuation) so Character.ai could run (think: raised $150M at $1B valuation from a16z earlier this year). And now Google is reportedly considering investing hundreds of millions of dollars in the company that allows users to create ultra-specific artificial intelligence chatbots like “Italian plumber from Super Mario 64.” (Read)
+ Americans need to stop drinking the Haterade. According to the U of M Consumer Sentiment Index readout, Americans are more bearish than Michael Burry literally any time he logs into Twitter. Not only did the index come in below expectations, but it was the fourth straight month of declines, and the lowest print since May. But wait, it gets worse… per the same survey, Americans’ expectations for long-term inflation (3.2%) hit a 12-year-high… (Read)
+ Define “learning disability.” Shares of edtech 2U, which helps build online programs for universities, fell 57% on Friday, and are now trading below $1. The company missed top and bottom-line expectations by a mile and slashed its revenue forecast for the year.
But it’s not just the lack of revenue that has got investors heading for the exits. It’s the type of revenue. A yuge chunk of its sales are one-time termination fees that colleges are ponying up to end their partnerships with 2U. For example, USC is going all “I’m gonna pay you $40M to f*ck off.” (Read)
+ An Elon biopic is on its way… if you’re into that kinda thing (and by that I mean sex scenes between Elon and Grimes *throws up in mouth a little bit*). A24 won a bidding war for the rights to the movie. And it will allegedly be directed by Darren Aronofsky, the filmmaker behind ‘Black Swan.’ (Read)
+ Pour one out for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “The Marvels” just had the worst opening weekend of any MCU movie ever. It pulled in just $47M… far below predictions of $80M. Ok, hear me out… Taylor Swift joins the MCU. (Read)
Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...
+ Tyson Foods and Tower Semi report
+ Archer Aviation (think: electric air taxis) debuts a new aircraft at the Dubai Air Show
Yesterday I asked What else should be available at McDonald’s?
The most popular answers were…
1) Alcohol (that Orange Hi-C and tequila would go hard)
2) McWeed
3) “Bring back those little pizzas.”
Here’s today’s question…
I was sitting around with the boys this weekend, and we started naming random athletes… for like 2 hours. So this is less of a question, but…
Name a random athlete.
Reply directly to this email and I’ll share the best answers tomorrow.
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
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This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.