Hey there weekday warriors,

Today we’re talking McDonald’s saving America one $5 Meal Deal at a time. And Google just went, “sike!”

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 17 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “ripped higher on Monday as investors assessed the political landscape following President Joe Biden's exit from the presidential race and braced for the start of megacap tech earnings.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “ticked higher on Monday as investors awaited key economic data slated for the week and markets considered the latest U.S. political developments." (CNBC)

+Oil “fell for a second consecutive session on Monday to their lowest level in over a month, as investors looked past U.S. President Joe Biden's decision to end his reelection bid and focused on rising stockpiles and signs of weak demand.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “edged slightly higher on Monday, steadying after a sharp rally over the weekend as President Joe Biden’s dropping of his reelection bid spurred increased uncertainty over the U.S. political outlook.” (Investing)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +4.7% 2) CrowdStrike -13.4% 3) Tesla +5.1%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ “At least we’re not CrowdStrike.” - pretty much the only sales pitch every other cybersecurity firm needs to make at this point

Shares of SentinelOne gained 6.7% on hopes that it could be the beneficiary of CrowdStrike’s epic f*ck up.

– Speaking of CrowdStrike. Shares of the company responsible for what is being called the biggest IT outage in human history fell 13.4%.

+ If nothing else, AMC CEO Adam Aron has become a master of delaying the inevitable. His latest feat of kicking the can down the road? Refinancing $2.5B worth of debt, which will extend its maturity to 2029. Shares jumped 5.6%.

McDoubling down

“We are back, baby!” - McDonald’s

During this divisive time in our nation’s history, there is one issue that unites us all: the Make McDonald’s Cheap Again movement.

McDonald’s (+0.8%) franchisees overwhelmingly agreed to extend the chain’s $5 Meal Deal offer beyond the initial 4-week period.

In case you missed it/you say things like “my body is a temple”, the $5 Meal Deal is the Golden Arch’s attempt to hamburgle the hearts and minds of Americans after years of serving us fast food at fast-casual prices.

For a five-spot, customers can score a McChicken (or McDouble), a four-piece chicken nugget, fries, and a drink. Spoiler: it costs less than all of those items individually…

My god. Okay, it's happening. Everybody stay calm.

The cheaper food is resonating with McDonald’s patrons. Because, obviously, it is.

McD’s US marketing chief, said “When our customers are ordering the $5 Meal Deal, they aren’t visiting the competition, and early performance shows this deal is meeting the objective of driving guests back to our restaurants.” Sucks to suck, Burger King.

This is a bigger deal than a kid taking a sh*t in the PlayPlace ball pit. McDonald’s has been on the ropes after alienating its core customer by jacking up prices (see: $18 Big Mac at the rest stop a mile from my house… FML).

+ “Sike!” - Google

Remember in 2020 when Google (+2.2%) said it planned to depreciate cookies (friendly reminder: the creepy tech that tracks you around the internet to serve you ultra-targeted ads… like, say, anal wart ointment)? And proceeded to push back the change multiple times while it figured out a replacement?

Welp, it appears it wasn’t able to find a better solution Because on Monday it announced that it was giving up and no longer plans to cancel 3rd party cookies.

Instead, Google will “introduce a new experience in Chrome that lets people make an informed choice that applies across their web browsing, and they’d be able to adjust that choice at any time.” Spoiler: You’ll be able to opt-out of cookies… but Google will make it damn near impossible to find.

It cited feedback from publishers and advertisers… and presumably, its shareholders who have really gotten used to all that straight cash Google’s ad biz prints.

+ Will private equity Barbie and Ken come with substance abuse problems and the inability to love their children?

PE shop L Catterton has reportedly approached Mattel (+15.1%) about buying the Barbie maker. The move could set off a bidding war, which would likely include Hasbro, according to some snitches with knowledge of the matter.

To be fair, a sale could make sense. The only way things could get any worse for Mattel is if Sid from Toy Story got loose in the factory. Toy sales have fallen off a cliff and despite the success of the Barbie movie, shares of Mattel are down more than 25% over the past year…

+ “I’m not f*cking leaving!” - NBA on TNT

Now it’s starting to make sense why Warner Bros. Discovery (-1.3%) needed to cut payroll (friendly reminder: it cut 1k jobs last week). You see, it’ll need a few billion dollars to pay for the NBA rights most people had thought it walked away from.

The NBA had entered into a deal with Amazon and Comcast (see: NBC) for the Warner Bros. Discovery games that aired on TNT. But, WBD had a trump card. Its contract gave it the right to match any other deal.

The decision could set off a massive legal battle if the NBA tries to weasel its way out of its agreement with WBD.

Oh, and…

+ Elon Musk gives update on when Tesla will use Optimus humanoid robots

+ Reddit’s NFL, NBA deals bring more sports highlights — and ads

+ Mortgage rate lock-in gap: some states have it worse in U.S. housing market. Are you happy now, boomers?

+ The salary you need to be considered middle class in the 25 largest U.S. cities. Spoiler: don’t move to SF or NYC…

+ Amazon Can’t Stop Shoppers from Using These 5 Genius Hacks. Bezos down horrendous…

🔥Chick-fil-A falls off perch as No. 1 fast food restaurant in US. I call bullsh*t on this list.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Yesterday, we were keeping an eye on Verizon, Truist, SAP, Nucor, and NXP earnings. Plus, all eyes were on the impact of President Biden’s decision to drop out of the 2024 race for the White House…

+ Verizon (-6.0%) missed on the top line, sending shares down on the day.

+ NXP (+5.3% // -7.7% after hours) took its lumps after hinting at continued weakness in its core biz (think: automotive chips)

+ President Biden’s decision to drop out of the 2024 Presidential race sent markets higher (in the short term at least)

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Coca-Cola, Danaher, GE, Philip Morris, Comcast, UPS, Lockheed Martin, Spotify, and GM report before the bell

+ Google, Tesla, Visa, Texas Instruments, Capital One, and Cal-Maine Foods drop earnings after the close

+ June existing home sales data drops

Yesterday, I asked, “If you could add a zero to one of your 'financial numbers,' which would it be?”

1. Annual income (by a mile)

2. Retirement fund

3. # of properties owned

Here’s today’s question…

I totally forgot that corporate America really does this to the worker bees…

malcolmcills

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Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.