TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

Today, we’re getting into AMC’s big Memorial Day, Salesforce’s latest acquisition, and Pinduoduo having a worse Tuesday after Memorial Day than you. But first...

In the May 28, 2024 edition of The Water Coolest, we covered the loss of one very good girl. Kabosu the Shiba Inu passed away at 18 years old in what has to be the biggest blow to the animal kingdom since Harambe was taken from us too soon. You might know her as the mascot of Dogecoin, thanks to that one meme. You know the one…

Little did we know at the time that the memecoin (that started as a joke and hit nearly $90B in market cap) would become the namesake of the Department of Government Efficiency. What a time to be alive…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 12 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Memorial Day Weekend was a movie

Death and taxes AMC selling common stock at market price, any time shares jump more than 10%…

Imagine telling 2021 you that shares of AMC $AMC ( 0.0% ) mooned on… wait for it… actual news (and not “because GameStop went up”).

Shares of AMC (the real stock, not those APE shares) jumped 23.7% after buying another gold mine on the day after the movie chain had a bigger Memorial Day Weekend than 17 first-year analysts who rented an Airbnb that sleeps 6 in the Hamptons.

CEO Adam Aron said, “This past weekend, AMC set new all-time records for admissions revenue, food & beverage revenue, and total revenue at our U.S. theaters.”

Y tho?

Adam should send an Edible Arrangement (or, at the very least, one of those Dune 2 popcorn buckets) over to the folks at Disney and Paramount. The debuts of Disney’s Lilo & Stitch and Paramount’s Mission: Impossible led to a $325M (long) weekend box office haul. That’s the best MDW since 2013 when Fast & Furious 6 dropped. That’s right, we’re putting up Fast 6, pre-rona boi numbers.

Zooming out

It has been a huge year for movie theaters so far. And the summer blockbuster season has only just begun. Domestic movie sales already topped $3B. That’s 24% above sales at this point last year. Mostly because studios are playing nothing but the hits. See: Minecraft, Sinners, and Final Destination.

When the market shakes, biotech steadies

While the Dow dives and tariffs rise, Cytonics is advancing a breakthrough OA treatment with the potential to reverse joint degradation—something no drug has ever done.

Join 6,000+ investors who’ve already backed our science. We're not waiting on Wall Street.

*Ad disclosures below

⏸️ Hold up. Tyler here. Remember that TWC stays 100% free because it’s ad-supported. As in, if sponsors go away, so does TWC. You can support TWC by supporting our sponsors. It’s easy: show Cytonics some love by checking them out.

+ “Ok, but I’m not going to call Marc Benioff ‘dad’.” - Informatica workers

Salesforce $CRM ( ▲ 2.76% ) just welcomed Informatica $INFA ( ▼ 0.12% ) to the “Ohana.” Apparently, the $8B in straight cash homie was enough for Informatica’s board to overlook the giant red flag flying atop Salesforce Tower (read: a company that calls its employees ‘family’… or the Hawaiian equivalent, in this case).

The data cloud management company will help expand Salesforce’s AI offerings… because it appears those Slack AI summaries just aren’t doing it for CRM’s customers. Informatica joins Benioff’s growing pile of yuge acquisitions. Think: Tableau for $15.7B in 2019 and Slack for $27.7B in 2021.

+ Pinduoduo stock just got the Temu treatment (think: low price, but still not low enough to justify the absolutely dogsh*t quality). To the surprise of literally no one, PDD’s $PDD ( ▲ 1.28% ) earnings report for Q1 was a train wreck (assuming the train was poorly assembled in China and cost less than $800). The company that ran because Wish.com walked, missed on the top and bottom lines… by a mile. Uncle Sam closing the de minimus tax loophole has cratered US sales. But slowing consumer spending and increased competition (sup, Alibaba) are hurting sales closer to home (read: China) as well.

+ 15-year-olds in Texas: "Dad, can I have permission to like a bikini pic of this IG THOT?" On Tuesday, Texas became the second state in the greatest country on Earth to sign a bill into law that requires age verification to download apps or make purchases in the Apple and Google app stores. Starting January 1st, every TX resident under 18 will need to ask mommy and daddy before doing hood rat stuff with their friends on the internet.

+ Hold up, states can just… do this?

+ Rumor has it that Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 1.64% )  is planning to shutter its current Game Center app and replace it with an equally sad excuse of a video game app. To put it in perspective, the new app is reportedly going to be “similar to the Vision Pro’s operating system.” Apple has never managed to be relevant among serious gamers or game studios, which is a real shame considering two-thirds of its App Store revenue comes from games or in-app purchases.

+ Andddd it’s gone. Good news for all the haters of Elon/innovation in America: for the third time in a row, SpaceX’s Starship launch failed spectacularly. The rocket exploded, and what was left of it fell into the Gulf of America SpaceX Debris…

+ Make debt your b*tch. There's a much easier way to pay down crippling debt faster, you guys. Spoiler: it's using a no-interest credit card. Some of the top credit card experts identified one of their favorites that puts interest on ice until nearly 2027 AND offers up to 5% cash back on qualifying purchases. Start paying down debt faster with this top pick. [FYI, this is a partner post]

+ US stocks “surged on Tuesday, buoyed by improved prospects for a US-EU trade agreement after President Trump delayed the implementation of 50% tariffs on imports from the European Union.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “slid on Tuesday as markets reopened after the holiday, buoyed by optimism surrounding U.S.-EU trade talks.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “traded marginally lower Tuesday, as investors mostly stayed on the sidelines ahead of a closely watched OPEC+ meeting that could provide key signals on future supply levels.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “edged marginally higher on Tuesday, trading in a narrow range after last week’s record high, as investors turned their focus to the start of the major 2025 Bitcoin conference in Las Vegas later in the day.” (Investing.com)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ PDD and AutoZone reported in the AM

+ Okta reported after the bell

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Macy's, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Dick's Sporting Goods drop earnings before the bell

+ Nvidia, Salesforce, e.l.f. Beauty, C3.ai, HP, Synopsys, SentinelOne, Pure Storage, and Veeva Systems report after hours… which means the fate of the global economy is once again in Jensen Huang’s hands

+ The Federal Reserve will release the minutes from the last meeting of the FOMC

Yesterday, I asked, “Are you letting your dog sleep in your bed?”

37.7% of you said “Yes (currently have a dog).”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• Yes (currently have a dog): “The dog is my homie, not an accessory. They get pillow access if they want it. ”

• No (currently have a dog): “Yes, I let her sleep in my bed but she won't. hurts my feelings ”

• Yes (don’t currently have a dog): “My two dogs passed. I loved sleeping with them. Now I have a crazy cat that won’t sleep with me. Very nearby just not in bed with me. I miss it. And my dogs. ”

• No (don’t currently have a dog): “Family dog sent me to the ER twice, so obviously no dog in my condo”

Here’s today’s question…

What kinda serial killer tips at Chipotle?

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

Ad Disclosures

This investment is speculative, illiquid, and involves a high degree of risk, including the possible loss of your entire investment. You may obtain a copy of the offering circular by visiting the SEC’s website.