Hey there weekday warriors,

I’m not a Disney shareholder, but if I were, I’d definitely take their side in the proxy fight vs. Nelson Peltz. And, yes, the only reason is because Disney is using a video starring Donald Duck's uncle, Professor Ludwig Von Drake to persuade investors to vote for Disney’s slate of board nominees. Side note: huge miss to not making Nelson Peltz be Scrooge McDuck.

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

• Disney reminds everyone who’s king

• Bill Ackman is a man of the people

• Uber turns a profit

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 7 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “rose on Wednesday as investors digested a fresh inflow of quarterly earnings, with the debate over timing of interest rate cuts still rumbling in the background.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “held steady on Wednesday as investors considered new commentary from Federal Reserve officials suggesting that the central bank would proceed with caution before cutting rates." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “rose for a third consecutive day on Wednesday, boosted by a larger-than-expected fall in U.S. fuel stocks, and rising tensions in the Middle East.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “surged Wednesday over $44,000 to a fresh four-week high amid increased BTC accumulation by large holders and new all-time highs in U.S. equity indices.” (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +2.75% 2) PayPal -0.74% AH: -8.05% 3) Arm +5.52% AH: -+22.05%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Paramount can’t catch a break. Not only was it left off the group chat discussing the new ESPN/Fox/Warner Bros. sports streaming app… but rumor has it, that Warner Bros. has no real interest in buying it. PARA fell 8.1% on the day.

– Imagine bribing investors with $25B in new buybacks, and shares still plummeting. Shares of Alibaba dropped 5.8% after the company missed top-line estimates.

+ Palantir rose another 7.9% a day after it jumped 30%+. Investors can’t get enough of PLTR following a next-level earnings report and unveiling plans to lean even further into AI.

+ Arm rocketed 19.8% after reporting a huge beat on the top and bottom lines, and sharing a promising outlook driven by, what else, AI.

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Are you not entertained?

Ok, sure, The Marvels kinda sucked, but Disney (+6.17% after hours) was dropping hit after hit during its earnings call yesterday…

Keep in mind, this is all in addition to the sports streaming service it plans to launch with Fox and Warner Bros. Discovery…

Arguably the biggest reveal from Disney was… that Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour movie will air exclusively on Disney+ beginning March 15. What? You thought I was going to lead with the stand-alone ESPN App?

Speaking of sports streaming apps…

The biggest question everyone had the following Disney, Fox, and Warner Bros. announcement has been answered. During its conference call, DIS said we’ll get a standalone ESPN app in Fall 2025. That means ~1 year after the Big 3 app launches.

And for its final trick…

Disney also said that it’s taking a $1.5B stake in Epic Games, the company that makes Fortnite. The House of Mouse’s biggest investment in gaming to date will “bring together Disney’s beloved brands and franchises with the hugely popular Fortnite in a transformational new games and entertainment universe.” Translation? So. Many. Disney. Skins.

Oh, and DIS reported a beat on the bottom line and said it expects 2024 earnings to come ~20% higher than 2023. Disney is basically the Drake of the big media game (think: some guys have it all).

The big picture… Sure, all of that stuff is cool… but you know what’s even cooler? DIS has been cutting costs like Sports Illustrated that one time it found out about ChatGPT. The company thinks it will exceed its goal of eliminating $7.5B in expenses by the end of this year. That should scare Netflix and every other media company.

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+ “Give me your tired, your poor…” - Bill Ackman

When he isn’t fighting the good fight against Ivy League universities and Business Insider, Bill Ackman is busy being a man of the people. The billionaire hedgie is launching a closed-end fund that will invest “in 12 to 24 large-cap, investment grade, “durable growth” companies in North America.” There won’t be a minimum, and Bill will do us all a solid and waive the management fee for the first year.

Why should I care? This is probably the closest you’ll ever get to putting your money in a hedge fund. Of course, Bill will probably have some analyst (the one from Fordham, not the MIT kid) managing it. Not to mention, the lineup probably won’t look that different from the portfolio you already built on Robinhood. Most of Bill’s picks are retail favorites like Alphabet and Chipotle.

+ Travis Kalanick could never. Uber (+0.26%) just turned its first annual operating profit. It only took $30B in collective operating losses since 2016 to get here. Uber has put on a clinic post-rona boi…

It trimmed the fat (think: employees and billion-dollar investments like Drizly and its autonomous driving group), focused on operational efficiency, and launched a successful ad biz. It also managed to win back drivers during a legendary worker shortage.

The big picture… Uber’s biggest competitor hasn’t been so lucky. Lyft (-5.82%) hasn’t posted an operating profit and appears to be at least a few years behind Uber with its turnaround plan. A new CEO (its Dara Khosrowshahi, if you will) took over last July.

+ Things you don’t want the company you’re invested in compared to: WeWork. A notable short seller compared the hotel and “social club” Soho House (-19.0%) to the failed co-working company Adam Neumann is trying to buy back. And believes it will meet the same fate (spoiler: bankruptcy). It initiated coverage with a $0 price target. Savage. (Read)

+ Better late than never, I guess. Target (+1.59%) has plans to “disrupt” retail with a new paid membership program that would likely offer deals and discounts. If this sounds familiar, it’s because Amazon invented this (see: Prime) in 2005. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Capri Holdings, ConocoPhillips, Philip Morris, Duke Energy, Expedia, Take-Two Interactive, Tapestry, Pinterest, and Kenvue report

My prediction of tomorrow’s TWC headlines, today…

~ Crystal ballin’… “Florida Man dies while strapped into Apple Vision Pro”

It’s only a matter of time. People are out here flying planes with Vision Pros on. And it’s a Florida man because, of course, it is.

Yesterday, I asked What should the new ESPN/Fox/Warner Bros. sports streaming bundle be called?

• Ballsack

• The Ocho

• Spornhub

• Megalodon (actually pretty awesome)

• “I don't know what the new streaming bundle should be called, but whatever PFT Commenter wants to call it would probably be a great name.” (Agreed)

• Cable (the winner)

Here’s today’s question…

Why do you love The Water Coolest?

Ok, I’m asking partially because I need some testimonials for a new website build-out. But mostly because I need the validation. Reply directly to this email.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional