Hey there weekday warriors,

NBA journeyman Mike Muscala updates his LinkedIn profile every time he signs with a new team (9x and counting). What’s your excuse for not building a personal brand?

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

• NYCB’s roller coaster

• J-Poww says “we’ll see”

• Apple vs. Epic heats up

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 16 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “popped on Wednesday, with techs vaulting back from a steep sell-off as investors digested Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell's stance that interest rate cuts are still likely this year.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “slipped on Wednesday as investors digested testimony about monetary policy from Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell, saying the central bank is not quite ready to cut rates." (CNBC)

+ Oil “edged up about 1% on Wednesday on a smaller-than-expected build in U.S. crude inventories, a big withdrawal from distillate and gasoline stocks, and remarks by the U.S. Federal Reserve chief that he still expects interest rate cuts this year.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin is climbing back towards its ATH again…

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +3.1% 2) New York Commercial Bank +7.4% 3) C3.ai +3.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ MicroStrategy mooned 18.5% after announcing plans to raise $680M via a debt offering to… you guessed it… buy more bitcoin.

– Footlocker: great uniforms, terrible financials. FL fell 29.3% after it reported a brutal holiday quarter, shared a terrible outlook, and said it’s falling behind on its turnaround plan.

+ JD.com gained 16.1% after beating analyst’s top and bottom line expectations for Q4. The $3B buyback probably helped too.

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Help me, I’m poor

New York Community Bank (+7.4%… but shares were down as much as 45% at one point) was like one credit downgrade from having to turn tricks behind a Wendy’s for cash yesterday…

Trading of NYCB was “halted for pending news” midday Wednesday. The news? The bank was looking for outside investment to prop up its balance sheet… which should have come as a surprise to literally no one who has been following the situation.

There goes my hero…

Luckily, the bank didn’t have to wait long for its white knight. An unlikely hero emerged: former Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.

Mnuchin’s Liberty Strategic Capital joined forces with Hudson Bay Capital and Reverence Capital Partners to inject $1B directly into NYCB’s lifeless body.

In return, the 3 partners will get a sh*t ton of equity (that will likely be worthless by the end of the week). But that’s not all. Mnuchin and 3 others landed board seats. One of those individuals is Joseph Otting, the former comptroller of the currency. Joey Currency will also take over as CEO.

Just in time…

This comes just a few days after the bank got Eiffel towered by Moody’s and Fitch ratings services (spoiler: NYCB’s debt was downgraded to junk). That move came on the heels of NYCB reporting that its Q4 loss was actually $2.4B larger, replacing its CEO, and pointing out that its internal controls were developed by community college dropouts (… that were Poli Sci majors).

Of course, this entire clusterf*ck stems from its decision in January to increase its allowance for loan losses and cut its dividend by 70% to bolster its balance sheet. NYCB’s biggest concern, of course, was defaults on its massive commercial real estate loan portfolio.

What to keep an eye on… So far, it appears that New York Commercial Bank is the only bank barely keeping its head above water. But, here’s the thing… the source of the problem isn’t unique to NYCB. Commercial real estate is a dumpster fire right now (see: everyone working from home). And the Fed keeping interest rates higher for longer is not helping.

Don’t think for a second that analysts and investors aren’t trying to poke holes in every similar institution’s balance sheet in hopes of crying “contagion.” Unfortunately for banks with similar loan portfolios, bank panics can spread like gonorrhea at a gang bang.

+ 2 phrases to use to be a more successful employee or manager—and 2 to avoid, according to leadership coaches, psychologists (Read)

+ Why Meta's CTO loves 'heartbeat' emails that are 5-10 sentences long (Read)

+ Maybe you've heard you don't need a college diploma to land a gig in today's job market. Don't believe it. (Read)

~ ICYMI... Feeling overwhelmed at work? Here’s how to cope with it (Read)

+ J-Poww will literally wait and see instead of going to therapy…

During his testimony in front of the House Financial Services Committee, Jay Powell went all “we’ll see.” He indicated that the Fed wouldn’t cut rates until it has “gained greater confidence that inflation is moving sustainably toward 2 percent.” That will largely be driven by economic data… and the vibes.

Even though he doesn’t have an exact ETA, the head of the Central Bank does think cuts will happen during the year of our lord 2024. So we’ve got that going for us…

+ Not that it matters because the ADP jobs report is basically the Spirit Airlines of employment data…

But, according to the payroll platform, the US added 140k jobs in February. That was below the 150k estimates by economists.

Another positive sign (on the inflation front, not for you poor b*stard looking for a job) was that annual pay increased by 5.1% for those who stayed in their jobs. That is the slowest growth since 2021.

Tomorrow we’ll get the government’s official job data (spoiler: the one J-Poww and the rest of the Fed keep an eye on when f*cking up making monetary policy decisions).

+ The head of Facebook (+1.2%), Tom Alison (not Tom from MySpace, I checked) said the company is building out AI algorithms that will power its entire video ecosystem. And by that, I assume he means asking ChatGPT to build an algorithm as addictive as TikTok’s.

+ The SEC (Shortseller Enrichment Commission) adopted a rule that would force public companies to report climate-related risks… and here come the lawsuits. At least 10 states have allegedly already lawyered up.

+ Apple (-0.5%) just pwned Epic (the maker of Fortnite) in the ongoing Battle Royale between the two big tech players. Apple blocked Fortnite’s attempt to launch its own marketplace on iPhones and iPads. New rules in the EU will require Apple to allow other app stores in its ecosystem. But Apple contends that the Fortnite maker isn’t eligible because of an earlier ruling that proved Epic violated its terms. I aspire to be so petty about anything in my life.

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Kroger, Bilibili, Costco, Broadcom, Gap, DocuSign, and Big Lots report. DocuSign’s going to have some explaining to do if it doesn’t post some impressive numbers after its take-private deal fell through…

+ J-Poww talks to the Senate Banking Committee, a day after his testimony in front of the House Financial Services Committee. Expect more of the same (think: no cuts).

+ The European Central Bank makes a rate decision

+ Rivian is unveiling a new car… although it’s not entirely clear why

Yesterday I asked “You joining Target Circle 360?”

72.0% of you said “no.” 13.1% said “no… but my significant other probably will.”

Here’s today’s question…

Oh, and one more thing…

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This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional