- The Water Coolest
- Posts
- š¦ OpenAI is playing God
š¦ OpenAI is playing God
And Sam Altman's brutal SPAC debut
Hey there weekday warriors,
Today weāre speculating about todayās OpenAI event, breaking down Sam Altmanās SPAC merger, and a whole lot more (that isnāt about Sam Altman). Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks āstruggled to gain much traction after data pointed to an economy that is slowing amid stubborn inflation, posing a challenge to the outlook of Federal Reserve policy.ā (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield was āhigher on Friday as traders digested downbeat consumer sentiment data, which indicated a significant uptick in inflation expectations." (CNBC)
+ Oil āfell by nearly $1 a barrel on Friday as comments from U.S. central bank officials indicated higher-for-longer interest rates, which could hinder demand from the world's largest crude consumers.ā (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin was relatively flat over the weekend.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Oklo -53.6% 2) C3.ai -1.7% 3) Nvidia +1.2%
The market moves you need to know aboutā¦
+ Turns out slinging $19 salads to people who donated to the GoFundMe for those UNC frat guys who protected the American flag is a helluva business model. Salad seller Sweetgreen rose 33.9% on Friday after reporting earnings. Sure, the beat and raise were nice, but what really had analysts ready to run through a brick wall was the company rolling out steak at its restaurants.
ā Unity, which makes software for game developers, got wasted on Friday. Shares fell 10.2% after an earnings report thatās the stuff of its incoming CEOās nightmares (poor b*stard starts this week).
Playing God
(Source: Giphy)
Sam Altman be like āI am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds.ā
Remember when Amazon could make an entire sector its b*tch just by teasing a new product line?
Well, now itās OpenAIās turn to put entire industries on notice. On Friday morning, OpenAI tweeted that it will host a live-streamed event on Monday (see: today) at 1 PM EST to unveil some updates.
Almost immediately, shares of Google stumbled. And before you go all, āit was only 1%,ā letās keep in mind that represents $20B in market cap.
Why though?
The fear was that OpenAI is about to roll out its highly anticipated Google search competitor. Think: Bing, but it doesnāt suck.
But before the selloff became a bloodbath, Sam Altman did Google a solid (this participation trophy generation really is soft as baby sh*t) by clarifying heās not about to drink their milkshake.
He tweeted: ānot gpt-5, not a search engine, but weāve been hard at work on some new stuff we think people will love! feels like magic to me.ā
So either Sam is about to hit Google with the most savage āsike!ā of all timeā¦ or it really is something else.
But what?
Well, according to The Information, it could be an AI voice assistant that would roll audio, text, and image recognition into one product. So Siri but actually usefulā¦
In other newsā¦
Rumor has it that OpenAI is this close to inking a deal with Apple to bring ChatGPT to Apple iOS 18 and the iPhone.
Of course, this is almost certainly not OpenAIās big reveal. Tim Cook would use an Android before he let Sam Altman steal his glory.
+ Not even Sam Altman can fix SPACsā¦
On Friday, Samās special purpose acquisition company, AltC (well, played, @sama) merged with the nuclear fission company Oklo (-53.6%)ā¦ which he is also an investor in.
And it was a bigger sh*tshow than Chernobyl. Shares melted down nearly 54% during its first day of trading. The company, which has yet to get approval to build one of its mini nuclear reactors (let alone make a dollar of revenue), got a cash injection of nearly $300M on the day. Or as Sam Altman probably calls itā¦ moving money from one bank account to another.
It probably shouldnāt be that surprising, considering the SPAC had been super volatile ahead of the merger. And something tells me Sam A. has the mouth breathers on Wall St. Bets to thank
+ Who hurt you, Americans?
The University of Michigan Survey of Consumers sentiment index read was a dumpster fire. The sentiment measure hit 67.4, which means literally nothing on its ownā¦ until you realize the index fell 12.7% month over month. Plus, it was well below the Streetās consensus of 76.
But wait, it gets worseā¦ U of M also asks Average Joes what they think about inflation. Inflation expectations over one and five-year time horizons both jumped to their highest point since November.
+ āShut up and take my money.ā - Americans, in all likelihood
Last month, McDonaldās (+2.6%) reported an earnings miss and warned that consumers are beginning to pull back across the board. And, well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Rumor has it that the Golden Arches is planning to roll out a $5 value meal in hopes of putting a**ses in seats. Itās expected that the meal would include a McChicken or a McDouble, along with fries, and a drink.
+ RIP to one of the GOATS of investing.
Jim Simons, a brilliant mathematician, and the billionaire founder of Renaissance Technologies, passed away at the age of 86 (ā¦ which is a f*cking miracle considering how much this dude smoked).
And Jimmy Smokes put up absolutely staggering numbers. Ren Techās Medallion Fund averaged 66% annual returns between 1988 and 2018. Un-f*cking-believable.
+ OnlyF*ns model with three homes says itās āunderstandableā for landlords to raise rent (Read)
+ NBA Champion Dwyane Wade says it took years to learn how to manage his millions: āI had never really handled more than $500 at a timeā (Read)
+ Warren Buffett's right-hand man at Berkshire Hathaway once revealed the 'magic number' you need to save to build wealth (Read)
On Friday, we were keeping an eye on the Consumer Sentiment Index and some Fed chatter.
+ Federal Reserve Governor Michelle Bowman said she doesnāt expect any rate cuts this year. Meanwhile, Chicago Fed President Austan Goolsbee wasnāt as worried about inflationā¦ but still didnāt offer a timeline for rate cuts.
+ Check out more on the U of M Consumer Sentiment Index above.
Here's what weāre keeping an eye on today...
+ TeraWulf reports this AM
+ OpenAI makes its ābig announcementā at 1 PM EST
+ Cleveland Federal Reserve Bank President Loretta Mester will be part of a panel as investors seek hints about future rate changes
Yesterday, I asked, āAt what age do you stop being cool?ā
52.5% of you said never. The second choice? 35. F*cking brutal, considering thatās how old I am.
Hereās todayās questionā¦
Since I donāt trust the Americans that the U of M asks to participate in the consumer sentiment indexā¦
Do you feel better or worse about the economy than you did in April? |
Oh, andā¦
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, itās the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional