Today, we’re getting into Apple (and Meta) playing catch-up in the AI race, bombs over Baghdad Fordow, and Reddit’s new login option. But first...

In the June 23, 2022 edition of The Water Coolest, we covered the beginning (…er middle?) of the end for Juul. Following a 2-year investigation, the FDA would issue a Marketing Denial Order, effectively banning the nic stick that walked so Zyn could run.

In June of last year, Uncle Sam rescinded the order… but didn’t exactly approve the glorified USB drives. That left Juul in a bit of a legal gray area… which they exploited, obviously. Still, the damage was done…

You might remember that Altria took a 35% stake in Juul in 2018 for $12.8B. That stake was valued at just $250M in March 2023 when it essentially wrote it off. Woof.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 33 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who spends entirely too much time on Reddit (and is going to hate its latest move…). If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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Let’s use a sports analogy to explain the current state of the AI race, shall we? Specifically, the NFL Draft.

Here’s the current scouting reports…

Nvidia is the clear number one pick out of Alabama. An absolute stud coming off a Heisman season.

Microsoft is Travis Hunter. Great on both sides of the ball.

OpenAI has tons of upside. Athletic as hell. Easy top 10 pick.

Google is coming off an injury, but has NFL pedigree.

Apple and Meta? They’re the Johnny Manziel of the draft. Sure, they’ve put on dazzling performances in the past, but they’re a locker room liability. They just got pulled over doing 105 mph in a 35 mph zone, and there are pictures floating around of Tim Apple with a ‘pink powder’ on a yacht. Put simply, they are Laremy Tunsil on draft night.

How can we be so sure Apple and Meta’s draft stock is plummeting?

Because they are playing catch-up in a major way. On Friday, Bloomberg reported that Meta $META ( ▲ 1.04% ) tried to buy Perplexity (…in addition to literally every other AI company with a Stanford dropout CEO and Y Combinator in their Twitter bio) and Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 0.04% ) is considering a bid for the AI search engine.

Perplexity rebuffed Zuck’s advances, which forced Meta to settle for Scale AI and a boatload of other talent.

But Apple might be willing to make Perplexity an offer they can’t refuse…

Nobody is more at risk of falling behind than Apple. For f*ck’s sake, they’ve got shareholders accusing them of lying about their progress on the artificial intelligence front.

On Friday, a group of butt hurt AAPL holders lawyered up, claiming that the company might have overpromised and underdelivered on integrating AI into its ecosystem. You might recall that it’s pushed back Apple Intelligence releases multiple times…

20 billion other reasons to buy Perplexity…

Uncle Sam could force Apple’s hand, too.

The company that added that U2 album to our iTunes without consent (people don’t forget) is currently fighting antitrust charges. One of the biggest concerns is that the US government could force Apple to end its partnership with Alphabet, which makes Google the exclusive search engine of the iPhone. That deal is worth $20B per year to Apple.

Should the feds hand down the death penalty, Apple would be looking to plug a fat hole in its P&L. One solution? Building, or better yet, buying one that isn’t the Apple Maps of search engines (looking at you, Perplexity).

You can pay 0% interest for up to 21 months with some of the highest-rated credit cards in the game.

The experts at Finance Buzz shared their top card picks for 2025…

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+ Idk about you, but I’m a proponent of all future tactical bunker busting to occur around 8 PM EST when I’m 3 gin and tonics deep…

Perhaps you heard that US forces bombed 3 of Iran’s nuclear development sites Saturday. There are still a lot of questions, like whether this was a fatal blow or merely a flesh wound for Iran’s nuclear program, how Tehran will retaliate, and more importantly, how the US will react to all of the above.

Crypto fell ~5% in the aftermath of the attack, and you probably shouldn’t be shocked to hear stonk futures opened in the red. Meanwhile, oil popped on news that all hell could break loose in the Middle East at any moment…

+ I’ll take ‘Things That Definitely Won’t Destroy The Current Trade Truce Between The US and China’ for $800, Alex…

Last week, Commerce Department official Jeffrey Kessler reportedly told Taiwan Semi $TSM ( ▲ 2.04% ) and Samsung that the Trump administration was considering canceling the waivers that allow them to send chip tech to plants in China.

Probably no surprise here, but this sent shares of chip stocks dipping.

+ “Who knows, might f*ck around and cut interest rate.” - Chris Waller

It appears that slashing rates is on Chris Waller’s summer bucket list (… along with “making love at midnight, in the dunes of the Cape.”) The Fed Governor said this on Friday: “I think we’re in the position that we could do this as early as July.”

Waller reassured us during the interview that he ran the numbers, and tariffs aren’t going to boost inflation after all…

+ Remember that time Reddit users lost their collective mind because the company started charging for API integrations? This move might have them going all Luigi Mangione…

Reddit $RDDT ( ▼ 0.65% ) is apparently considering adopting World ID’s retina scanning tech to verify its anonymous users. And why stop there? Why not just buy 23andMe and keep users’ DNA on file?

If World ID sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the controversial tech developed by Sam Altman. Its broader goal (creating a universal basic income) and privacy concerns have gotten it banned in some countries.

+ Friendly reminder: Jeff Bezos has a better life than you. I’ll just leave this pictures of the foam party on his yacht right here.

+ US stocks “closed the session mixed on Friday as investors navigated a flurry of developments across multiple fronts. A Fed governor floated the possibility of interest rate cuts by July, and President Trump put off a decision on whether he would authorize a US strike in Iran.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “fell on Friday after Federal Reserve Governor Christopher Waller said in an interview on CNBC that inflation was softening to the point where the central bank could cut interest rates at its next meeting in July.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled down on Friday as the U.S. imposed new Iran-related sanctions, marking a diplomatic approach that fed hopes of a negotiated agreement, a day after President Donald Trump said he might take two weeks to decide U.S. involvement in the Israel-Iran conflict.” (Reuters)

⏪ On Friday…

+ Accenture, Kroger, and Darden Restaurants reported before the bell

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ The Existing Home Sales report will be released by the National Association of Realtors

Friday, I asked, “Do you have a side hustle?”

72.7% of you “ain’t got time for that.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Worth it…

Oh, and one more thing…

Made in America & Sent from my BlackBerry Storm 2. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.