Hey there weekday warriors,

(Heads up, if you already know the yuge news about the future of The Water Coolest, you can skip this part...)

By now you've probably seen the headlines and the posts about some changes at Barstool. And, well, things are changing on my end too...

After nearly two years at Barstool, The Water Coolest is going independent (again). And I'll be in the driver's seat, which means not a damn thing is going to change (except, the logo and some legal language... obviously).

"So, do I have to do anything?" - you, probably

Yep. We'll be sending from thewatercoolest.com domain (again). So, to ensure you always get the emails, you should tell your email provider that you're cool with getting emails from [email protected].

Here's how to do it...

1. Add [email protected] to your address book/tell your email provider we're safe (here are instructions for every email provider).

2. That's it.

I appreciate you coming along for the ride. And if you have any questions, you can reach out directly at [email protected].

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

Tyler

PS, Have some questions? Concerns? Been hoping to collab? Just want to chat? Drop me a note >

+ US stocks "closed higher to snap a three-day losing streak on Wednesday as data showing the pace of private job growth slowed to a 32-month low eased fears somewhat that the Federal Reserve may not need to hike again before year-end, halting the recent rise in Treasury yields." (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year yield "inched down from multiyear highs on Wednesday after new jobs data showed tentative signs of a weakening labor market." (Investors)

+ Oil "settled down more than $5 on Wednesday as fuel demand destruction and a bleaker macroeconomic picture took center stage in the day's trade." (Reuters)

+ The ADP jobs report indicated that the US added just 89k jobs last month. That's well below estimates of 150k+, and a good sign for those of you rooting for your portfolios... and against your fellow (jobless) Americans. (Read more)

Return on equity

New idea that Lyft can steal from Uber just dropped, you guys...

Yesterday, Uber announced the biggest thing to happen to the package return game since Kohl's started accepting Amazon exchanges and returns. The ride-share company with a food delivery side-hustle is rolling out a new service that will handle the last-mile return process​. Because the average Americans' sloth knows no bounds (guilt as charged)...

For $5 Uber will come to your house and pickup a package that needs to be dropped off at the post office, FedEx or UPS store. All 7 people who were tricked into buying Uber One will pay just $3.

The tech platform (that's definitely, 100% not a taxi company) must've paid McKinsey seven-figures for this idea. Because the TAM for people who hate returning stuff is girthy. More than 16% of retail sales are returned, and nearly half of consumers told the National Retail Federation they'd rather contract an STI (one of the painful ones) wait in rush hour traffic than make a return via mail​.

The move makes sense...

... since the ride-sharing service recently launched Connect, which is a glorified courier service (see: drug mule​). This is all part of Uber's plan to diversify from its core biz of underpaying poor people to drive drunk people around.

This isn't the only trick Dara K. has up his sleeve. Uber is making power moves in the advertising space. Earlier this year Uber announced​ that it'd start using all that info it collects about you to begin serving in-app ads before, during, and after trips.

Shares of Uber rose slightly on the day.

+ Millennials on Better Track for Retirement Than Boomers and Gen X (Read)

+ This AI company wants to help you control your dreams (Read)

+ This AI company wants to help you control your dreams (Read)

+ ICYMI yesterday... Powerball jackpot hits $1.2 billion. What’s the best payout option? Experts weigh lump sum versus annuity (Read)

+ It appears that the powers that be at FIFA just couldn't agree on which bribes to take for World Cup rights. So they took them all. The 2030 World Cup, which marks the 100-year anniversary of the tourney, will be hosted by Morocco, Portugal, and Spain. Oh, and the opening games will happen in Uruguay, Argentina, and Paraguay to honor the first-ever WC, which took place in South America.

For those of you keeping score at home, for the first time ever, soccer's biggest tournament will be held on three different continents. That means American fans will have to travel thousands of miles just to attain the same level of disappointment. (Read)

What else?

+ Big pharma has finally gone too far. We had a new epidemic in this country: the gelatinous 'My 600 Pound Life' cast members that frequent Walmart for high calories at every day low prices are, get this... getting healthy. And Ozempic and Wegovy are to blame. Walmart's CEO of US Ops said the brand is seeing "a slight pullback in overall basket" thanks to the weight loss wonder drugs. Kellanova (Kellogg's snacking division) pointed to similar headwinds. (Read)

+ *Clorox CEO drinks large glass of his core product* Following a previously reported cyberattack (presumably related to someone pulling a Jeffrey Toobin on their work computer) the bleach and Pine-Sol maker said it expects sales to fall as much as 28% for the quarter ended September 30th. And apparently, the hack is still impacting production. Shares of Clorox fell 3% after hours and are down 14% in the last month. (Read)

+ Wall Street Bets users haven't been this aroused since AMC announced APE shares. BlackBerry (which still exists...) is planning to split its cybersecurity and Internet of Things business. It plans to IPO its IoT biz next year. BB jumped more than 4% after hours. (Read)

+ Not sure if MSCHF's latest drop or if I am being trolled. For some reason, space startup Axiom has tapped Prada (yes, that Prada) to collab on designing spacesuits for NASA. I, for one, cannot wait to see Gucci moon sleds. (Read​)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Constellation Brands, Conagra, and Levi Strauss report

Yesterday, I asked What's the greatest deal a brand has ever offered?

There is only one right answer: the $15 Starbury shoes at Steve & Barry's.

Here's today's question...

The BlackBerry (which, for the record, doesn't make phones anymore) news got me thinking...

What was the best phone of all time?

The Razr comes to mind.

Respond directly to this email and I'll share the best answers tomorrow.