Hey there weekday warriors,

Today we’re talking Roaring Kitty’s new favorite stock. And Nike’s brutal day.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 24 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “were little changed on Thursday as investors assessed fresh economic data ahead of an inflation reading key to Federal Reserve policy.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield was “lower Thursday as investors looked to economic data for hints about the outlook for the economy and monetary policy." (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled higher on Thursday on worries about global crude supply disruptions as geopolitical pressure in the Middle East and Europe mounted, while a surprise increase in U.S. crude and gasoline inventories gave prices a ceiling.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “fell slightly on Thursday, seeing little relief after a major rout over the past week as fears of a massive sale event stemming from defunct exchange Mt. Gox kept traders averse towards the token.” (Investing.com)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -1.9% 2) Micron -7.1% 3) Nike +0.4%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Webtoon jumped 9.5% in its first day on the public markets… after pricing at the top of its range.

– Hims & Hers tumbled 7.1% after the woke mob realized its ticker symbol is HIMS and not HERS following a report about how damn easy it is to get a Wegovy script. You see, that’s really, really bad news for a company that has been touting its cheaper compounded version of the weight loss drugs.

+ Blackberry didn’t hear no bell. The former meme stock continues to fight the good fight. Shares rose 10.8% after the Crackberry maker reported an earnings beat and hinted that a return to profitability is so close it can taste it.

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No one man should have all that power

Keith Gill is like herpes: he just won’t go away, and pops up when you least expect it…

KG emerged from hibernation to post a cryptic tweet that sent GameStop Chewy (-0.3%) to the moon.

Shares of Amazon for dog food mooned 34% at one point in trading… and it certainly wasn’t because of the $500M share repurchase it announced Wednesday.

Confused?

Join the club.

Roaring Kitty posted this on Twitter…

To the untrained eye, the poorly made image appears to be the lovechild of a dog emoji and that insufferable K9 from Duck Hunt.

But to the crayon eaters, it is a social media Bat Signal that meant one thing: go long Chewy.

Their rationale?

The shade of blue matches Chewy’s logo. And the image itself is ‘close enough’ to the glorified Shopify store’s mascot.

And ICYMI Chewy was founded by Ryan Cohen… who is the current CEO of GameStop. You might recall that Keith Gill is a Ryan Cohen ride-or-die. In fact, he spoke highly of the GME CEO on his recent (disappointing) YouTube livestream.

All good things must come to an end…

But by the end of the trading day, even Roaring Kitty's biggest fanboys backed off the theory. Shares actually ended the day in the red…

+ Shares of Nike (+0.1% // -12.3% after hours) got rekt after investors realized the company is going to have to sign Bronny James to a huge shoe deal if it hopes to keep LeBron happy after another brutal earnings report…

The top line miss was just the beginning.

You see, the Swoosh outlined an absolute nightmare scenario. It’s expecting sales to fall 10% in the current quarter. For context, analysts were expecting just 3.2%.

Now, Nike doesn’t like to point fingers… but if it had to, it would definitely be China’s fault. Oh, and customers around the world who are becoming increasingly weary of spending recklessly. Apparently the “it” in Just Do It stands for “blame everyone except the man in the mirror.”

As you may have gathered the brutal upcoming quarter will weigh on full-year results. Nike leadership said its annual revenue will likely drop “mid-single digits” (which is code for 7%). The Street was hoping for sales to be (ever-so-slightly) positive.

+ Bad day to be a streaming service trying to get lucrative NFL rights…

The League’s gotta find ~$14.3B in new revenue. That’s because the $4.7B in damages a court ordered it to pay can be tripled under federal antitrust laws (… because f*ck em, that’s why).

A jury ordered the NFL to pay nearly $5B in damages to more than 2.4M residential and 48k commercial DirecTV customers.

That same jury found that the football league violated antitrust laws by distributing out-of-market games on a premium subscription service. DirecTV was probably like, “Premium you really mean it?”

+ Walgreens shareholders: “This is going to ruin the tour.”

WBA fell 22% after hosting the ‘Biden’s debate’ of earnings calls.

Results for the most recent quarter came in light, with the pharmacy chain missing earnings expectations. But that was the least of its worries.

It slashed profit expectations for 2024 to between $2.80 and $2.95 per share, down from $3.20 to $3.35.

All this comes just a few days after it said it was closing a boatload of stores and shuttering its walk-in clinic biz.

+ How Walmart-owned Sam’s Club is trying to take on Costco’s private label Kirkland (Read)

+ Roger Federer’s Ivy League speech goes viral, reaches over 1.7 million views: Here’s the big takeaway (Read)

+ Why AriZona Iced Tea CEO won’t raise 99-cent price (Read)

⏪ Yesterday we got earnings from Walgreens and Nike. Check out all the details above.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on (one thing)…

+ Core PCE (inflation) data drops

Plus…

+ The Russell indexes rebalance after the close

Yesterday, I asked, “What's the better use of $5? ($5 worth of fractional McDonald’s shares OR Subway’s $5 Footlong circa 2015)”

51.4% of you went with $5 worth of fractional McDonald’s shares.

Here’s today’s question (last $5 one, I swear)…

Before you go…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.