Hey there weekday warrior,

Today, we’re getting into Zuck’s latest obsession, the Winklevii going public, and a yuge jobs report. But first...

In the June 9, 2018 edition of The Water Coolest, we just kinda made 6/9 jokes discussed that Warren Buffett, Jamie Dimon, and Jeff Bezos had chosen David Feinberg to lead Haven Health. You might recall earlier in ‘18, Berkshire Hathaway, JPMorgan Chase, and Amazon said they would collab to disrupt employee healthcare. The announcement sent shares of insurers tumbling at the time.

Feinberg ended up not taking the job, which was probably a smart career move, considering that by 2021, Haven closed its doors. Why? Well, the three companies’ individual initiatives kept getting in the way, and the US healthcare system was just too much of a nightmare to navigate.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 33 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Scale at all costs

The US government to Meta: “You really need to stop buying up any potential competition, and, in fact, we might reverse some of your previous acquisitions…”

Zuck: “Hold my beer…”

It appears that Zuck is going to unleash a Peter North-sized load of capital on two twenty-somethings in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Rumor has it that Meta $META ( ▼ 1.51% ) is considering a $10B cash injection into Scale AI. No, not a $10B valuation. A $10B investment.

Scale AI was recently contemplating a $25B tender offer and last raised at a $10B valuation.

The 11-figure check will be one of the single-largest tech investments of all time… and Softbank would like a word. It would also be a rare investment from Meta, which has taken the “I can do it all by myself, a**hole” approach to AI.

What is a Scale AI, and why have I never heard of it?

Turns out, Scale didn’t just add “AI” to its name and make its logo some derivation of a literal butthole. It’s become a vital cog in the AI machine. Scale AI has become the GOAT of polishing raw data and making it useful for use in training AI models.

Scale AI offers both automated and “human-in-the-loop” labeling and organizing of fat stacks of data. Zuck be like, “You had me at ‘human exploitation’.”

The company has already attracted big investments from Microsoft and Meta, helping its female co-founder dethrone Taylor Swift as the youngest self-made billionaire of all time.

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+ Remember when ADP jobs data showed that hiring had fallen off a cliff, and we were all doomed? So that was a f*cking lie.

On Friday, the official government employment data for May 2025 said the economy added 139k jobs for the month. That was well above estimates of 125k, but a slight drop-off from April’s 147k.

It appears that the rumors of our economic demise have been greatly exaggerated (… for now).

+ “I'm 6'5", 220, and there's two of me.” - the Winklevii

Sure, the Winklevoss twins will never recover from Armie Hammer portraying them in The Social Network, but all this windfall will certainly help (… even if it is fiat). Cameron and Tyler’s crypto exchange Gemini filed confidentially for an IPO on Friday. Do you think they run Facebook ads?

Probably just a coincidence that stablecoin Circle just had an IPO for the ages, and the Trump administration has thrown its support behind the crypto community.

+ Speaking of companies that had no business going so hard in their public debuts…

Healthcare startup Omada put on a clinic Friday when it IPOed. The virtual chronic care company (oh, so they sling knock off Ozempic on IG?) popped 21% on its first day, helping it eclipse a $1B market cap.

+ Imagine having your pick of European summer hotspots and landing on London…

POTUS is sending Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, and US Trade Rep Jamieson Greer to the UK to negotiate with their Chinese counterparts. The trade talks come just a few days after Presidents Trump and Xi hopped on a quick call.

I bet we’d have a deal done by 3 PM the first day if the two sides met in Ibiza…

+ On the bright side, DocuSign will save a ton on filing paperwork if when it files for bankruptcy. Shares of DocuSign $DOCU ( ▼ 2.57% )  got rekt on Friday… after reporting a beat on the top and bottom line. The problem? The company, whose product could just as easily be replaced by MS Paint, shared a pretty bleak outlook.

DOCU slashed expected billings for the full year. In their defense, the company’s CEO pointed out that its shift to an AI-centric platform was expected to hurt renewals for the remainder of the year of our lord 2025.

+ US stocks “rallied on Friday, with the S&P 500 breaching the 6,000 level following a moderate beat on the monthly jobs report and rising investor hopes of a cooldown in the acrimonious feud between President Trump and Elon Musk.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “spiked higher Friday on the back of hotter-than-expected U.S. jobs data, as investors breathed a sigh of relief that the U.S. economy remains on solid footing.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “rose more than $1 a barrel on Friday, posting its first weekly gain in three weeks after a favorable U.S. jobs report and resumed trade talks between the U.S. and China, raising hopes for growth in the world’s two largest economies.” (Reuters)

⏪ On Friday…

+ The May jobs report was released

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Casey’s reports after hours

+ Chime Financial is expected to price its IPO

+ Apple will hold its WWDC event in Cupertino, California

+ Cisco holds its flagship annual conference

Friday, I asked, “Whats's your go-to athleisure brand?”

38.1% of you said “Nike/adidas/Under Armour.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• Nike/adidas/Under Armour: “I’m a 53 year-old-male. Outside of Lululemon (which is for girls, right?), I’ve never heard of any of these other brands.”

• Lululemon: “Anyone saying Nike, Adidas and Under Armour is still living in their mom’s house and shopping with her for these items at Costco on the weekends.

• Vuori: “Vuori is the superior brand to Lululemon due to it's return policy, better quality, and *slightly cheaper product line. You can wear an item into the store, return it and use the funds to purchase a newer item or even just a different color.”

• Nike/adidas/Under Armour: “Crocs should be on here”

• Nike/adidas/Under Armour: “Spending $100 on a pair of shorts is not going to make my dad bod look any better than the $30 Nike shorts from Academy.”

Here’s today’s question…

HUGE week for end-of-school celebrations here in the northeast (I know you heathens in the south ended months ago)…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.