TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

It appears that Google has hired Dr. Emmett Lathrop Brown, and it’s probably time to start freaking out.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 37 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ US stocks “fell on Tuesday as investors trod carefully on the eve of a closely watched consumer inflation report seen as key to the path of interest rates.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “rose on Tuesday as investors await fresh inflation data due later this week.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “rose on Tuesday as markets looked to rising demand in China, the world's largest buyer, and possible tight supply in Europe this coming winter and away from the overthrow of Syria's president.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “fell on Tuesday, extending losses and headlining declines among broader cryptocurrencies as risk sentiment soured amid increased geopolitical tensions and uncertainty over U.S. interest rates.” (Investing.com)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -2.6% 2) AMD -2.3% 3) Tesla +2.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

– “No, no revenue… why would you go after revenue?” Sirius XM, the real-life “ROI: Radio. On. Internet” biz just went full Russ Hanneman. The company that needs to force Howard Stern to bring back the Wack Pack regularly adjusted revenue expectations even lower for 2025, sending the share price down 12.2%. It also outlined a new strategic focus on automotive subscriptions and plans to cut back $200M in costs in 2025.

+ Alaska Airlines shares took flight, jumping 13.1% on revised financial guidance along with a laundry list of W’s. Following their $1.9B acquisition of Hawaiian Airlines back in September, ALK is rolling out plans for new routes, including nonstops from Seattle, their home base (sucks to suck, Anchorage), to Tokyo and Seoul. But wait, there’s more… Alaska Air raised Q4 earnings estimates from $0.20-0.40/share to $0.40-0.50/share and revealed plans for up to a $1B share buyback.

Are you overlooking this retail payment tech?

Buy now pay later is having a moment. But its cousin, lease to buy has flown a bit more under the radar.

It's pretty simple... a consumer buys a good and pays it off with a weekly installment plan.

FlexShopper (NASDAQ: FPAY) is one of these unique retail and financing plays.

And while its biggest competitors are burdened by brick-and-mortar stores, $FPAY operates online only.

This has allowed $FPAY to focus on building proprietary credit rating tech that can assess consumers in minutes.

Interested in learning more about FlexShopper?

This is promotional content. The Water Coolest has been compensated by FlexShopper for this content. This is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, or a recommendation to buy or sell any securities. Please see full disclosure below.**

Talk nerdy to me, Google

*Every crypto-turned-AI startup announces a pivot to quantum computing*

Google (+5.3%) just made what has to be the nerdiest announcement of all time. It unveiled its new quantum computing chip Willow, which takes less than 5 minutes to solve a problem that would take a “leading supercomputer” about 10 septillion years to solve.

Allow me to explain just how fast that is...

Here's what Google Quantum AI founder Hartmut Neven had to say in a blog post about the computer's speed: "This mind-boggling number exceeds known timescales in physics and vastly exceeds the age of the universe. It lends credence to the notion that quantum computation occurs in many parallel universes, in line with the idea that we live in a multiverse, a prediction first made by David Deutsch."

*brain explodes*

That's right, a dude at Google casually dropped on a Tuesday afternoon that parallel universes exist. No word if his career is about to go the way of that guy who claimed Google’s AI was sentient.

Ok, but why?

Willow’s most important use case will be proving we live in a simulation powering the type of AI that will likely end humans’ run as the dominant species on Earth.

This is a big f*cking deal and means Google is the leader in the clubhouse in the quantum computing game. Something that can't be said about its AI efforts.

Despite the claims, quantum computers are incredibly error-prone given the massive amounts of data they need to crunch. And even if Neven is right, it could be decades before we see the fruits of his labor.

+ “Corporations that use fiat currency as a store of value, we call them poor.” - Michael Saylor

Bitcoin evangelist Michael Saylor has been trying to convince Microsoft shareholders that Bitcoin is going to the moon. But those virgins just aren’t biting. The Microstrategy (+3.2%) “Executive Chairman” presented a proposal at an October Microsoft (-0.6%) shareholder meeting, pitching Bitcoin as the future for the company.

Saylor envisioned Microsoft converting their cash flows, dividends, buybacks, and debt all into Bitcoin. The proposal flopped in the shareholder vote. Fingers crossed they’ve got more time to fix Teams now…

+ Lina Khan didn’t hear no bell…

On the same day President-elect Trump named her replacement, the current FTC chair scored two major W’s in her battle against capitalism…

First, a federal judge c*ckblocked Kroger (+5.1%) from acquiring Albertsons (-2.2%) for ~$25B. The FTC argued that the supermarket merger would eliminate competition *Piggly Wiggly slow claps*. And just in case it had a little bit of fight left in it, a Washington state judge hit the two with a permanent injunction from merging, citing, you guessed it, “competition.”

In other M&A news, President Biden will reportedly kill Nippon Steel’s proposed takeover of US Steel (-9.6%). Turns out a foreign company seizing the means of production is a national security threat. The Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS) is currently reviewing the deal, but the final decision will be POTUS’.

+ “We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy” - GM

After lighting nearly $10B on fire injecting over $10B into its robotaxi business, GM (+0.06%) will shutter its Cruise division. The carmaker plans to fold the tech and some of Cruise’s 2.3k employees (cross your fingers, nerds) into creating autonomous systems for personal vehicles.

General Motors going all ‘I don’t want to play with you anymore’ prompted Cruise founder Kyle Vogt to air out some feels on X: “In case it was unclear before, it is clear now: GM are a bunch of dummies.” Tell us what you really think, Kyle. To be fair, competitors like Waymo and Tesla have been gaining serious ground in the robotaxi race, despite GM being early to the US market since acquiring Cruise in 2016.

+ Forget the dealership: You can now buy a Hyundai on Amazon. No thanks, I’d rather buy a 2002 Ford Focus on Temu.

+ OpenAI CEO Sam Altman: You could get paid one day for the AI training data we use. But today is NOT that day.

🔥 Capital gains tax on real estate: How much you'll pay when you sell a home. Friendly reminder: you only pay taxes if the government knows about the transaction.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Yesterday we heard from GameStop after the close

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Macy’s reports this AM

+ Adobe drops earnings after the close

+ CPI (inflation) data drops

Yesterday, I asked, “Only one brand portfolio stays (Hershey or Mondelez). The other vanishes from the face of the Earth. Which are you KEEPING?”

Hershey (Reese's, Hershey's (duh), Heath, KitKat, Milkduds, etc.) won with 60.1% of the vote. And can we all agree they should just change the name to the Reese’s Company, right?

Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…

• Hershey: “Chips Ahoy are an abomination of a "cookie" get that sh*t out of here.”

• Mondelez: "Reese's will be missed, but those other bars ain't what they used to be. Cookies all the way."

• Mondelez: “Sour patch anything surpasses any and all Hershey products”

• Hershey: “If I don't get the seasonal Reese's 4 to 5 times a year, what's worth living for?”

• Mondelez: "Hardest question yet” You guys think this is all fun and games, but my goal is to challenge you in new and unique ways every day - a mental David Goggins if you will.

• Mondelez: "Anybody voting to keep Hershey is either over the age of 60 or that one creepshow at the office who tells everybody on Halloween that his favorite candy is milk duds” Milk Duds are underrated...

• Hershey: “You had me on Reese's”

And here’s today’s question…

+ The perfect Christmas song doesn’t exi—

🔥 Someone finally figured out why the powers that be cursed the human race with hangovers

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

** Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter about FlexShopper Inc is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, or a recommendation to buy or sell any securities. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own independent research or seek advice from a licensed financial professional before making any investment decisions. If you want to learn more about FlexShopper, visit their investor page for more information: https://investors.flexshopper.com/

The Water Coolest Limited Liability Company has been compensated by Cashu Technologies Pty Ltd on behalf of FlexShopper Inc for this promotional content. While we have taken care to present accurate information, we make no guarantees as to the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of the information provided. Any investment decision you make based on this video is at your own risk, and The Water Coolest Limited Liability Company assumes no liability for any losses or damages that may result.

For more details regarding the partnership between The Water Coolest Limited Liability Company and Cashu Technologies Pty Ltd, visit: https://www.cashuapp.com/disclaimers/fairfax