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š¦ Teslaughtered
And happy belated Ether ETF day to those who celebrate
Hey there weekday warriors,
Today weāre dissecting a yuge earnings day (see: Tesla and Google).
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks āslipped on Tuesday as investors weighed early reports on a marquee earnings day, with Big Tech results from Alphabet and Tesla in focus after hours.ā (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield fell āfrom roughly two-week highs, as Harris collected enough support from delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination." (CNBC)
+ Oil āfell about 2% to a six-week low on Tuesday on rising expectations of a ceasefire in Gaza and growing concerns about demand in China.ā (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin āslipped on Tuesday as a weekend rebound ran dry amid growing uncertainty over the U.S. presidential race, with traders now awaiting an upcoming address by Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. ā (Investing)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla -2.0% // -7.7% after hours 2) Nvidia -0.7% 3) CrowdStrike +1.8%
The market moves you need to know aboutā¦
ā UPS just had a record-breaking dayā¦ and I mean that in the worst way possible. Shares fell 12.0% after it missed the Streetās expectations and slashed guidance.
ā GM beat on the top and bottom line and hiked guidance for several full-year metrics. Andddd shares still dropped 6.4% on the day. Something about investors not expecting the good times to last.
ā The power of āThe Officeā is undeniable. Peacock grew subscribers 38% year over year to 33M (or as Netflix likes to call itā¦ āa rounding errorā) but Comcast still managed to miss the Streetās top-line expectations. Shares tumbled 2.5% on the day.
Teslaughtered
Source: Giphy
Itās called creative accounting, look it upā¦
The good news is that Teslaās (-2.0% // -7.7% after hours) revenue increased 2% year over year and beat expectations. The bad news? Automotive revenue fell 7%.
Oh, and $890M of that was from regulatory credit. Friendly reminder: investors like that government EV credit revenue about as much as theyāre going to like Teslaās $5B investment in Elonās side hustleā¦
Should Tesla invest $5B into @xai, assuming the valuation is set by several credible outside investors?
(Board approval & shareholder vote are needed, so this is just to test the waters)
ā Elon Musk (@elonmusk)
12:32 AM ā¢ Jul 24, 2024
From bad to worse
Despite TSLA cutting ~10% of its workforce and beating estimates on deliveries, the EV maker missed the Streetās profit expectations. And it wasnāt particularly close.
So whereād Elon go wrong?
Elon was out here slinging discounts like they were child-support checks. As competition heats up (spoiler: Tesla is losing market share) and interest in EVs wanes, Elon has been forced to offer steep price cuts to move units.
The future is brightā¦
ā¦ just not for the EV biz.
Elon didnāt exactly have a quick fix for the current sh*tstorm, but he did offer an update on Robotaxis and Optimus.
He (officially) announced that the Robotaxi launch event would be moved to October. And had this to say when asked about a timeline for the first Full Self Driving taxi (like, real full self-driving): āI would be shocked if we cannot do it next year.ā
As for Optimusā¦ according to Lon Corleone, it should be available in 2026. Note: that is Elon math.
+ Just in case you were wondering why Google (+0.1% // -2.1% after hours) decided it wouldnāt kill off cookies after allā¦
The search giant just made $84.7B in the most recent quarter by following you around the internet, and jamming ads down your throat.
The company that took Google+ from us (people donāt forget) reported after the bell and did exactly what youād expect it to doā¦ beat on the top and bottom line. Search and cloud were the main drivers behind the solid quarter. How original.
GOOGLās cloud biz topped $10B for the first time ever in the quarter. Meanwhile, YouTube missed expectations as it struggles with competition from the likes of TikTok.
+ Happy belated Ether ETF launch day to those who celebrateā¦
For everyone who ever thought, āIād sure like to buy a crypto ETF, but Iād really like to invest in one without a mysterious founder and shady origins,ā Iāve got great news. Now you can buy an ETF that holds a crypto created by a guy who looks exactly like the guy who youād expect to launch a cryptocurrency.
A handful of ETH ETFs began trading on Tuesday AM, which seemed inevitable after the girthy inflows to Bitcoin ETFs earlier this year.
Ether was down on the day and hasnāt seen the same level of blind enthusiasm as BTC ahead of its ETF debut. That could be because Ether is already up 50% year to dateā¦
+ Daniel Ek just copied Zuckās homework, and he didnāt even bother to change any of the answersā¦
Ek has been getting his āyear of efficiencyā on at Spotify (+11.9%). And, unsurprisingly, hiking prices and laying off countless employees has done wonders for the bottom line.
The music streamer that made Pandora its b*tch, posted a record profit and shared thicc guidance driven by, initiatives like āgetting Alex Cooper off of the books.ā Shares mooned, despite top line and revenue growth simply meeting expectations.
Oh, andā¦
+ Apple likely to release foldable iPhone as early as 2026. Only 4 years too lateā¦
+ Spotify CEO says consumers 'are really asking us' for a more expensive premium tier. Bro, no one said thatā¦
+ Hack your Amazon shopping experience (they canāt stop you). Lauren Sanchez gonna be big mad when she finds out about this.
+ Investing experts: Lock in a guaranteed 5% return before the Fed slashes interest rates. Your chance to settle for mediocre returns is running out.
š„Chick-fil-A falls off perch as No. 1 fast food restaurant in US. I call bullsh*t on this list.
š„ The salary you need to be considered middle class in the 25 largest U.S. cities. Spoiler: donāt move to SF or NYCā¦
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
āŖ Yesterday, we were keeping an eye on Coca-Cola, Danaher, GE, Philip Morris, Comcast, UPS, Lockheed Martin, Spotify, and GM reporting before the bell and Google, Tesla, Visa, Texas Instruments, Capital One, and Cal-Maine Foods dropping earnings after the close.
ā© Today weāre keeping an eye onā¦
+ Thermo Fisher, AT&T, Boston Scientific, Fiserv, and General Dynamics report before the bell
+ IBM, ServiceNow, KLA, Waste Management, Chipotle, and Ford drop earnings after the close
+ S&P drops its services and manufacturing PMI data
+ New home sales data
Yesterday, I asked, āAre you taking $1M in cash or a $5M Amazon gift card?ā
$1M cash won with 70.9% of the vote.
Some of you showed your workā¦
Cash: "I'll buy $1MM worth of bitcoin and be laughing in a few years."
Cash: āUntil my rent can be paid on Amazon I'm sticking with the cashā
Amazon gift card: āWould blow through that pretty fast though.ā
Hereās todayās questionā¦
Are you taking insider information on stocks for 1 year or on sports gambling for the rest of your life?Let's assume you'll get away with it in both scenarios. |
+ āYeah, Iām LinkedIn endorsed for holding business accessoriesāā¦
Oh, and one more thingā¦
What did you think about today's newsletter? |
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, itās the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.