Don’t feel too bad if you can’t afford a Tesla. Especially if you live in Chicago. Tesla’s (and, to be fair, other EVs) have reportedly been handling the cold about as well as Elon handles SEC oversight. There have been complaints about Teslas being unable to hold a charge. And, apparently, supercharging stations have become Tesla graveyards…

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 9 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “closed lower Tuesday as investors digested a slew of earnings and a jump in Treasury yields after Fed Governor Christopher Waller downplayed the need for speed on rate cuts.” (Reuters)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “rose on Tuesday to kick off a shortened trading week after Fed commentary indicated the central bank make lower rates at a slower rate than the market had anticipated." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “were little changed on Tuesday, pressured as the dollar jumped to its highest in a month but supported by jitters about the impact to energy supplies from escalating tensions in the Middle East.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “continues to rebound even as the spot BTC ETFs fail to meet investors’ expectations.” (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Spirit -47.09% 2) AMD +8.31% 3) Tesla +0.47%.

Just a horrendous few weeks for companies named Spirit in the airline industry…

Spirit Aerosystems built the fuselage with a “leaky plug” that led to the Alaska Airlines mid-air blowout…

Then, yesterday, a judge reviewing JetBlue’s acquisition of Spirit Airlines (no relation to Spirit Aerosystems… or Spirit Halloween) went all “you’ll get nothing and like it.”

The Federal judge blocked JetBlue’s $3.8B acquisition of Spirit, agreeing with the DOJ that the deal was of the anticompetitive nature. Because Uncle Sam will not sit around and let JetBlue rob us of ultra-cheap fares and piss poor customer experience.

Spirit shares did their best Boeing impression following the news. The stock was down ~50%. That is not a typo. JetBlue jumped almost 5%, because, you know, crisis averted.

JetBlue and Spirit will likely appeal the decision, which could prove difficult to overturn. In SAVE and JBLU’s defense… the four major airlines (most of which were formed via mergers) control 80% of the US air travel market. Together, JetBlue and Spirit would have less than 10% market share…

WTF?

The Biden administration has been tough on American companies that broke out their deal sleds. Big tech mergers have met opposition over the past few years. And the Jet Blue-Spirit decision certainly doesn’t bode well for Alaska Airline’s $1.9B acquisition of Hawaiian Airlines.

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+ Ever wondered how members of Congress cash in after they retire? Look no further than Tom Suozzi's financial disclosures (Read)

+ This was the average US home price from the ‘40s through the ‘80s – How much did one cost in the decade you were born? (Read)

+ ICYMI... US residents must make this much to afford a home in 2024, realtor claims: ‘The old American dream died’ (Read)

+ “I’ve won… but at what cost?” - Apple and Epic, probably

Yesterday, the final boss of the judicial system (read: US Supreme Court) decided it won’t hear Epic or Apple’s respective appeals, which, for the record, are related to the same case. You might recall that the two have been suing (and countersuing) each other (and appealing) for the better part of 3 years.

Epic fired the first shots, claiming Apple’s 30% “Apple tax” (read: what developers pay Apple for the honor and privilege of being listed in the App Store) violates antitrust laws. Turns out it doesn’t. And the Supreme Court decision means the initial ruling from 2021 will stand. A judge said that the iPhone maker didn’t break any antitrust laws, but it should allow app makers to offer users the option to pay outside the Apple ecosystem, and as such, avoid the 30% fee.

And, well, that means both Apple and Epic are taking L’s… which is probably why both were appealing the decision to the Supreme Court. Epic thought the ruling didn’t go far enough in making Apple its b*tch. And Apple dislikes very much that it’s being robbed of the (egregious) fees it believes are its God-given right.

AAPL fell more than 2% on the news but recovered to close down ~1%. (Read)

+ I’ll just leave this right here… “Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper. Junior, double, triple, Whopper.” (because if I am going to have this stuck in my head all day, so are you…)

Restaurant Brands International, the owner of Burger King, is ponying up $1B for… wait for it… ~1k Burger King locations. Stay with me. BK is buying out one of its largest franchisees (Carrols’) as part of a turnaround plan.

It plans to remodel around 600 of Carrols’ BK Lounges in hopes of flipping them to new, more local franchisees in 5 to 7 years.

Shares of Restaurant Brands were down 3.3% on the day. (Read)

+ Goldman is back on its bullsh*t. DJ D-Sol got a much-needed win when GS dropped better-than-expected earnings on Tuesday before the bell. And get this, its profit actually climbed (51% to be exact) vs. last year. That’s something the other major US banks can’t say. Goldman managed to get away with paying the FDIC just $529M… much less than the billion-dollar charges its more consumer-facing foes were hit with. Shares rose 0.7% on the day. (Read)

What else?

+ Today in things that are 0% surprising… Boeing fell another 8%. Shares fell out of the sky after news dropped that Boeing brought on an independent advisor to have a look at quality control. Spoiler: you are watching Boeing CEO David Calhoun put on a master class in spin zoning. (Read)

+ The Pirate Ship just lost its captain. Barstool Sports CEO Erika Ayers Badan announced that she’s stepping aside. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Charles Schwab, US Bancorp, and Alcoa report

+ December retail sales report drops

+ Seriously, don’t forget to eat your bugs… the World Economic Forum continues all week

Yesterday, I asked Who is the worst person in the viral Cloudflare layoff video? (Brittany? HR?)

Pretty much all of you agree that HR is the culprit here.

Here’s today’s question…

I was lucky enough to work for Erika Ayers Badan. She was an incredible leader and boss. So…

Reply directly to this email and I’ll share the results tomorrow.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional