Hey there weekday warriors,

What’s that? You think the leadership at your company is incompetent? I can assure you it is nowhere near as bad as the C-Suite over at the National Association of Realtors.

Let’s take a look back at the year that was, shall we? The NAR's president resigned in August 2023 after claims of sexual harassment. Then, in November, the Association’s CEO resigned after a bunch of brokers conspired to earn thiccer commissions. And before you say “I’m sure it wasn’t that big of a deal,” the NAR paid out $1.18B for its part in the scheme.

And yesterday, current president Tracy Kasper resigned after she received a “threat to disclose a past personal, non-financial matter unless she compromised her position at NAR.” Read: she was blackmailed.

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

• Tiger Woods breaks up with Nike

• The Apple Vision Pro is coming… even though no one asked for it

• Boeing crashes

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 11 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

PS, there’s an important EXIT INTERVIEW today. I’m bringing back the referral program and need your feedback. If you haven’t already, I would appreciate it if you scrolled allll the way to the bottom to answer (it’s multiple-choice).

+ US stocks “gained Monday, with the tech-heavy Nasdaq leading the way ahead of earnings season and the release of crucial inflation data that could influence future Federal Reserve thinking over potential interest rate cuts.” (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “slipped on Monday as investors looked to key economic data slated for this week, including fresh inflation insights that could affect the direction of interest rates." (CNBC)

+ Oil “fell over 3% on Monday on sharp price cuts by top exporter Saudi Arabia and a rise in OPEC output that offset supply concerns generated by escalating geopolitical tension in the Middle East.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rose Monday, touching levels above $47,000.” (WSJ)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Boeing -8.03% 2) Nvidia +6.43% 3) Marathon Digital +7.71%.

Mulligan

I think it’s safe to say commitment to one partner isn’t in Tiger Woods’ DNA…

After 27 years, Tiger is breaking up with Nike.

He went all ‘it’s not me, it’s you’ via social media (he presumably gave Phil Knight a heads-up beforehand).

Not long after, the sports apparel giant won the internet with an IG post that had a lot of grown a** men asking “is someone cutting onions in here?”

The nearly three-decade-long deal was lucrative af for both parties. It’s estimated that Tiger pocketed more than half a billion dollars.

And some marketing consultant CNBC DM’ed on LinkedIn claims that for every 72 holes of televised golf Tiger completed, Nike earned between $2M and $4M worth of exposure. Just imagine how lucrative his car crash was…

To be fair, the separation wasn’t a total shock...

There had been rumblings about Tiger’s departure from Nike for some time.

Not to mention, Nike was about as good at moving golf apparel as Tiger was at being faithful to a literal supermodel. The Swoosh actually stopped making golf equipment back in 2016. And you might remember that Tiger wore FootJoy shoes at the 2023 Masters. So, yeah, there were signs…

What’s next?

It’s all but guaranteed that the GOAT will sign another lucrative endorsement deal. It’s just not entirely clear which company is willing to pony up.

On Running (think: Roger Federer’s brand that everyone at Equinox wears) is rumored to be in the… well, running. Although the co-CEO of On denied the rumors.

Or, he could sign with TaylorMade. The two already have an agreement in place for equipment.

My money is on him inking a deal with Perkins…

"I want to learn a new language in 2024."

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+ Take Warren Buffett's Advice: Don't Buy Any Stock in 2024 Unless It Passes This Test (Read)

+ Why your boss may tell you to work harder soon (Read)

+ ICYMI... Americans are racking up more ‘phantom debt’ — why that’s a problem (Read)

+ Here’s a good way to get stuffed in a locker: tell people your Apple Vision Pro headset has prescription lenses.

We finally got a launch date for the $3.5k Apple Vision Pro AR/VR headset (which will come with a $150 prescription lens option): February 2. Pre-orders will begin on January 19th. So, ask your moms for an advance on your allowance, virgins.

Shares were up today, but it probably didn’t have a whole to do with Apple’s launch of yet another product that wasn’t a car. UBS expects Vision Pro’s sales to top out at $1.5B, meaning revenue will be of the immaterial variety. (Read)

+ Arguably the only person who had a worse weekend than Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun was the Alabama man who got high and decided to jump into the aquarium at Bass Pro Shops… completely naked. In his defense, he was really, really high…

Of course, Dave’s could have been a lot worse considering a Boeing jet’s entire side panel blew out mid-flight. Nobody was injured but as you might have expected, shares of Boeing plummeted like a Boeing 737 MAX 8 (shoutout to the modern-day Howard Hughes who called me out for leading weekday warriors to believe MAX 8's and 9's are the same yesterday). Shares finished the day down ~8%.

The plane maker sent instructions to airlines (something tells me it forgot the attachment) on how to inspect grounded 737 MAX 9's. And I'd have to guess it immediately regretted that decision when news broke that United found loose bolts on the same type of "door plug" that popped out of the Alaska Airlines flight Friday. (Read)

+ It’s Nvidia’s world, and we’re just living in it. Just in time for CES, Nvidia unveiled new generative AI chips… for personal PCs. Shares mooned nearly 6.5% on the news because, of course, they did. Just wait until everyone finds out you can just use ChatGPT for free… (Read)

+ There are corporate bloodbaths… then there’s whatever the hell is going on at Unity Software. Unity, the preferred game development software of real-life grandma’s boys, just laid off about 1,800 employees, or 25% of its workforce. The move comes just a few months after Unity pissed off users with a major pricing overhaul. That may or may not have been the nail in CEO John Riccitiello’s coffin. He “retired” just a month after the sh*tshow.

Shares rose nearly 4% after hours. (Read)

+ Rumor has it that Hewlett Packard Enterprise is this close to buying Juniper Networks for $13B. Shares of Juniper jumped more than 25% in after-hours trading. This might come as a shock, but HPE is interested in Juniper’s AI business. (Read)

+ JetBlue’s CEO is stepping down. And, get this… it has nothing to do with a hole in the side of one of his airplanes. Robin Hayes said, “the extraordinary challenges and pressure of this job have taken their toll.” Current COO Joanna Geraghty will take over in February. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Albertsons and Tilray report

+ Intel, Walmart, and Mobileye’s CEOs will give keynotes at CES

Last day to share your thoughts…

There is no better time than now to bring back The Water Coolest referral program. It’s pretty simple, really: I bribe you to tell friends and colleagues about the newsletter.

You win. And The Water Coolest wins.

The only real question is… what should the referral reward be?

I could give away TWC swag. OR I could give you cold hard cash. My thought process is that instead of paying Zuckerberg (I think I have made it very clear how I feel about lizard boi) money to run Facebook or Instagram ads, I could give you guys the money to spread the word.

So…

Oh, and one more thing…

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Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional