Hey there weekday warriors,

Happy Mariah Carey season to those who celebrate. Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ is already sitting at #21 on Spotify’s most-played list. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s a quicker ascent than last year… when it peaked at #3.

Here’s what else we’re getting into…

• ExxonMobil is disrupting itself

• More Amazon layoffs

• The FDIC is a clusterf*ck, apparently

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 7 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks "were mixed after the close on Monday, as gains in the Consumer Goods, Oil & Gas and Healthcare sectors led shares higher while losses in the Utilities, Technology and Financials sectors led shares lower." (Investing)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield "rose Monday, as investors considered the state of the economy after a cut to the U.S. outlook from Moody’s." (CNBC)

+ Oil "rose by more than 1% on Monday after OPEC's monthly market report eased worries about waning demand and a U.S. probe into suspected violations of Russian oil sanctions raised concerns about potential supply disruptions." (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “wiped its weekend gains and dropped to $36,880 ahead of US inflation data.” (FX Street)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24-hours were: 1) Nvidia +0.59% 2) Tesla +4.22% 3) Visa -0.24%.

US lithium independence

ExxonMobil out here padding its ESG score…

The oil major, that put Dawn dish soap on the map for its ability to remove crude from baby ducks, is trying to clean up its image.

It’s plan? Mining lithium for EV batteries in the US (which is a real shame given how much cheaper child laborers are in Third World countries). And now it’s starting to make sense why Exxon snatched up 120k acres in Bumf*ck Arkansas. The region is called, I sh*t you not, the Smackover Formation.

The new enterprise will be named Mobil Lithium in a nod to Mobil’s roots in the automotive industry.

Ok, but how much?

Exxon plans to move size.

By 2030 XOM hopes to extract and refine enough lithium to produce more 1M EVs per year. As in the same amount of total EVs sold in the US in 2023.

I mean, it makes sense…

The US is sitting on some of the largest battery-grade lithium deposits in the world. And we wonder why people hate us. Oh, and did I mention that demand for Li is expected to 6x by 2030? Plus, XOM’s PR team is going to have an absolute field day with this...

Shares of Exxon rose a little more than 1% on the day. But, I’ve got bad news card-carrying members of Greenpeace. It probably had more to do with all that fossil fuel that’s one internal combustion away from burning a yuge hole in our atmosphere.

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+ Oreo fans claim company is skimping on creme filling in latest ‘shrinkflation’ scam (Read)

+ Typical US Homebuyer Earns $107,000 and Increasingly, She Is a Single Woman (Read)

+ ‘Money dysmorphia’ could be keeping you from building wealth, expert says (Read)

+ ICYMI yesterday... 3 podcast episodes to help you be more productive today—including 1 that’ll increase your productivity by 90% (Read)

+ I don’t know who needs to hear this, but… stop applying to jobs at Amazon that aren’t in the e-comm or AWS lines of business. Your job security in one of these non-core groups is roughly equivalent to that of an Amazon fulfillment center employee who takes bathroom breaks.

Just a week after layoffs in the Prime Music and podcast groups, Amazon laid off 180 employees in its games division. Hand up, today I learned that “free” games are a Prime perk. (Read)

+ WeWork is getting its Hertz on. The co-working company is in the stage of bankruptcy where retail mouth breathers latch onto shares traded over-the-counter in hopes of meme stock glory.

Exhibit A: on Friday, WeWork shares jumped 23%. Then proceeded to fall nearly 21% before the open yesterday. And closed the day up nearly 6%. I probably don’t need to tell you this, but… typically shareholders are wiped out in a bankruptcy. (Read)

+ “You’ll get nothing and like it.” - Elon Musk to Cybertruck owners

Tesla EV buyers have started noticing something strange in their buyer’s agreements: fine print that limits resale of the Cybertruck. According to the document, “you will not sell or otherwise attempt to sell the Vehicle within the first year following your Vehicle’s delivery date.” Of course, Tesla will allow you to resell it to them…

So what happens if you breach the agreement? A Tesla in FSD mows down your family at high rates of speed. You’ll have to pony up $50k in damages. On the bright side, this should prop up the used Cybertruck market. (Read)

+ Welp, it’s becoming a bit more clear why banks were collapsing like it was 2008 earlier this year. According to a WSJ report, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) employees have been busy creating a more misogynistic and toxic workplace than Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.

There are allegations of male colleagues sending d*ck pics to female colleagues, sex between bosses and direct reports, and mandatory in-office alcohol consumption. Basically, it was Stratton Oakmont. Unsurprisingly, within hours of the news breaking, the FDIC Chair said it had hired an independent firm to begin an investigation. (Read)

+ Henrik Fisker, the CEO of EV maker Fisker, is doing his best Trevor Milton impression. During the company’s earnings call, he insisted, “We have not been able to follow through with deliveries fast enough. People have paid and are waiting for their cars, and some of them are really getting annoyed.” During that same earnings call, the carmaker said it was slashing its production from 20k to 13k in 2023. Investors called bullsh*t, sending shares down nearly 15%. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Home Depot, Sea Limited, and On Holding report

+ ESPN Bet goes live

+ October CPI data drops

Yesterday I asked told you to Name a random athlete.

This was one of the most popular questions of all time. Still working through my inbox.

Some of my favorites (so far)…

1) Kevin Pittsnoggle

2) Scott Spizieo

3) Aaron Hernandez

4) Nancy Kerrigan

5) Lenny Dykstra

Here’s today’s question…

Some consumers are complaining that Oreo is reducing the amount of creme filling in its cookies. So…

What foods are the biggest offenders of shrinking sizes over the years?

Reply directly to this email and I’ll share the best answers tomorrow.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of a God-fearing family man with sh*t-for-brains. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.