TOGETHER WITH

Hey there weekday warrior,

Today, we’re getting into the Warner Bros. Discovery divorce, a sad excuse of an Apple WWDC, and the end of an era at Moelis.

In the June 10, 2022 edition of The Water Coolest, we covered the LIV Tour’s first event… and the PGA’s petty af response. Just hours after the Saudi-backed league’s first tournament got underway, the PGA announced that all defectors had been suspended.

Almost exactly a year later, the PGA and LIV shocked the world (including all of their golfers) by announcing a merger backed by the Saudi Public Investment Fund. There was a self-imposed deadline of December 31, 2023, that has come and gone. But both sides are reportedly still working towards a deal.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 19 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Warner Bros. won't stay together for the kids

Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav just hit his cable networks with “sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

The problem? A metric f*ck ton of debt (~$35B)…

You see, Zaslav and his board concocted a (diabolical) scheme to rid itself of its debt and its dying assets in one fell swoop: split Warner Bros. Discovery $WBD ( ▼ 1.28% ) into two publicly traded companies.

One will house its fast-growing streaming biz. The other? Its “legacy” business (which is the media equivalent of seeing “charming” in a Zillow listing), which includes its cable networks… and nearly all of its debt. A fixer-upper, if you will…

Zaslav will get the streaming assets (think: HBO Max) and the movie studio (read: Warner Bros.) in the divorce (obviously). Meanwhile, “Global” will be the home to CNN, TNT, and Discovery.

The two companies will begin trading separately in 2026, which should give marketing just enough time to think of some really stupid name for the new cable network being put up for adoption.

The spinoff cable network, which David Zaslav wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole, will own 20% of the streaming business. That cash flow will allow it to pay down debt/get its affairs in order as it dies a slow, painful death under the weight of its crippling liabilities.

And, in case it wasn’t abundantly clear that this was simply a financial transaction, look no further than the fact that WBD’s CFO Gunnar Wiedenfels will run the company that operates TNT, TBS, and CNN… and holds all that debt.

Wait, I feel like I’ve seen this movie…

You have. Kinda…

Comcast recently announced it’s splitting its cable companies (sup, CNBC) and streaming (think: Peacock) biz. Its cable network will be spun off into a separate publicly traded company called Versant… which I’m pretty sure is French for rotting corpse left to decay on a deserted island.

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+ “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” - Apple fans that were really hoping for something special at WWDC this year

Apple’s $AAPL ( ▼ 1.38% ) most anticipated event of the year was giving major Android vibes. Don’t believe me? Just look at Apple’s stock price during the first few minutes of the event…

Of course, if you squinted hard enough, the event had a few redeeming announcements…

• “Liquid Glass” is the biggest aesthetic update to iOS since 2013. It’ll give your iPhone a “shiny, reflective, and transparent visual interface”… and I’m pretty sure I already hate it. This just screams, “we need to erase Jony Ive’s legacy now that he’s joined forces with Sam Altman.”

• Speaking of iPhone operating systems… the company will change its OS naming scheme. From here on out, operating systems across the board (think: iPhone, iPad, watch, Vision Pro… for all 7 remaining users) will use the year in their names. So the 2026 iPhone update will be iOS 26. Can we get AI models in on this version control?

• Apple TV can become a karaoke machine. Imagine if you told Steve Jobs in the 70s this would be his legacy…

• Visual Intelligence got an upgrade. VI allows your camera to ID real-world objects. Unfortunately, this, and some lackluster ChatGPT updates, were the biggest AI “upgrades” announced… hence AAPL’s tumbling share price.

• Real time translation is coming to phone calls, messages and FaceTime thanks to AI, which, is pretty damn cool… but something Google has been doing for a minute.

• The iPhone is finally getting phone and text screening features that, you guessed it, Google rolled out years ago…

+ Walmart in 2023: *sues Capital One to get out of its credit card partnership early*

Capital One: *accuses Walmart of exiting the deal so it could partner with its in-house fintech, OnePay*

Fast-forward two years, and it turns out Capital One $COF ( ▼ 2.45% ) was right. Walmart $WMT ( ▼ 0.41% ) will be launching branded credit cards with One Pay, the fintech it formed as part of a joint venture. OnePay has been making moves to offer traditional banking services to an underserved market (read: people of Walmart).

+ We used to be a country, a proper country…

+ No one man should have all that power. Listen, TWC is not (usually) in the business of covering insider activity (unless it’s of the illegal variety), but it’s not every day a director’s purchase moves a stonk like this.

Shares of Topgolf Callaway popped nearly 15% on news that a board member bought $2M worth of the beaten-down shares. The director in question also happens to sit on the board of BlackRock at a time when there have been rumors swirling about a Topgolf and Callaway breakup. Do with that information what you will…

+ I think we can all agree that at least one good thing will have come out of the LA ICE riots: there are a few less Lime scooters on the streets. The eyesores became collateral damage after 3 Waymos were set ablaze by rioters in Los Angeles yesterday. Presumably because they were nearby, and since everyone, regardless of their stance on immigration, can all agree that Lime scooters kinda suck, the e-scooters were tossed into the raging car fires.

+ RIP Ken Moelis. He’s not dead or anything. But his time as CEO of the investment bank that bears his name is coming to an end. He’ll stay on as Exec Chair of Moelis $MC ( ▼ 4.96% ) and plans to focus more of his time on dealmaking. It doesn’t appear that markets are too concerned he’s going anywhere soon, as shares only fell 1% on the day.

+ US stocks “edged higher on Monday as hopes of easing tensions between the US and China rose after the first day of renewed trade talks between the two countries wrapped up on an upbeat note.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “slipped Monday as investors awaited news from trade talks between Washington and Beijing in London.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “held steady Monday as investors remained cautious ahead of key U.S.-China trade talks in London later in the day.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rose Monday, despite investors staying cautious ahead of high-stakes U.S.-China trade talks later in the day and a closely watched U.S. inflation report due later this week.“ (Investing.com)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Casey’s reported after hours

+ Chime Financial priced its IPO

+ Apple held its WWDC event in Cupertino, California

+ Cisco held its flagship annual conference

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ J. M. Smucker reports before the bell

+ GameStop and GitLab report after the bell

+ O'Reilly Auto will begin trading on a post-split basis following the 15-for-1 stock split

+ Datadog will hold its flagship two-day Dash 2025 event

Yesterday, I asked, “What's the best day of school?”

42.5% of you said “Last day before summer (high school).”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

• Last day before summer (high school): “Have survived finals and optimistically certain solid grades report. Driving around with friends, windows down, music playing, cherry cokes, and pizza. Yes. I am a baby boomer. Great memories!”

• Last day before summer (elementary school): “Last elementary day before summer bc you’re still a kid and it was exciting. It was like getting out of prison.”

• Last day before summer (high school): “Our last day consisted of a giant kickball tournament that was absolutely electric.”

• Last day before summer (elementary school): “No bills, no responsibilities. no job, no wife. Just baseball practice and chillin with the homies all summer.”

• Last day before summer (high school): “Starting 2 months of chasing tail, drinking beer, and getting high all while working at a Cape Cod watering hole. Happiest day of my life.”

• First day of school (you’re a dweeb if you pick this): “jokes on you. first day of high school is when I learned I had a major glow up over the summer.” Like I said. Dweeb.

Here’s today’s question…

More summer questions…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my BlackBerry Storm 2. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.