Hey there weekday warriors,

You’re not going to believe this, but Ticketmaster managed to fail yet another major test…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 33 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ US stocks “struggled Thursday as investors dumped risk assets and concerns mounted over the outlook for the U.S. economy ahead of Friday’s keynote labor report.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “ticked lower on Thursday as Wall Street assessed the latest employment data and looked ahead to Friday’s August nonfarm payrolls report.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “held at a 14-month low on Thursday as worries about demand in the U.S. and China and a likely rise in supplies out of Libya offset a big withdrawal from U.S. inventories and a delay to output increases by OPEC+ producers.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin’s continues to struggle…

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +0.9% 2) Broadcom -0.8% // -6.6% after hours 3) AST SpaceMobile -14.0%

The market moves you need to know about…

– It’s not entirely clear why, but Verizon is buying Frontier Communications for ~$20B in an all-cash deal. Shares of Frontier lost 9.5% after jumping on Wednesday when rumors began swirling that a deal was in the works.

+ Shares of Smartsheet popped 4.2% on rumors that a PE consortium (read: circle jerk) including Vista and Blackstone was considering acquiring the workplace collab software maker.

– Moderna out here trying to get its 2021 on again. News that Moderna’s mpox vaccine looks promising weighed on Bavarian Nordic, the current leader in the (mpox vax) clubhouse. Bavarian Nordic, which trades in Europe, fell 12.8%, while Moderna rose 1.3%.

– “We’re not mad, we’re disappointed” - Broadcom investors. Despite posting yuge AI infrastructure growth… AVGO shared a Q4 forecast that let down the Street. Shares fell 6.7% after hours.

Hate it or love it…

Broadcom: Do you hate it or love it over the next 12 months? Vote below (I’ll share the results tomorrow)…

🐻 Hate it // 🐂 Love it

Yesterday was an absolute dogfight. 53.1% of you Hate C3.ai over the next 12 months.

What’s the Story (Morning Glory)?

“It’ll be different this time.” - spouses who take back their cheating spouse… and music fans hoping to get tickets to a concert via Ticketmaster

Narrator: “It was not different this time.”

Ticketmaster (-1.1%) royally (since it was in the UK) f*cked up the Oasis reunion tour ticketing process… and literally no one is surprised.

But now the U.K.’s Competition and Markets Authority is sniffing around, claiming Ticketmaster’s dynamic pricing might have been an “unfair commercial practice.” Wait until they hear about Uber…

Allegedly (and by that I mean definitely), Ticketmaster was forcing fans to wait as long as 10 hours to purchase tickets online. And when a customer was lucky enough to get the opportunity to buy tix, the face value of tickets had more than doubled in some cases. Because, you know, “dynamic pricing.”

But what really has the UK CMA’s knickers in a bunch is that the ticketing platform, which is run a lot like a terrorist organization, pressured users to make purchasing decisions quickly.

“Don’t look back in anger…”

You might recall that Ticketmaster botched sales of T-Swift’s Eras Tour. Massive demand brought the platform to its knees and pandemonium ensued.

In the aftermath of the debacle, the DOJ started paying attention. And, in May, Uncle Sam filed suit against Ticketmaster and Live Nation, seeking to break up the two on antitrust concerns. Or at the very least collect some fat fines.

Friendly reminder: Ticketmaster and Live Nation merged back in 2010. The DOJ claims that the ticketing platform and venue owner/manager collude to jack up ticket prices and crowd out competitors in both markets. And since there is no real competition, there is no reason to invest in ticketing technology.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall…

+ Ok, don’t freak out, but Thursday’s jobs report just screamed ‘the economy is totally and irrevocably f*cked…'

On the bright side, it was the ADP August jobs report, which has proven to be about as accurate as Elon’s predictions about self-driving cars.

According to the data, the US added just 99k jobs, well below the consensus of 140k.

All eyes will be on today’s Bureau of Labor Statistics “official” jobs report (which should also be taken with a grain of salt, apparently). Analysts believe this payroll print could be the deciding factor between a 25 and 50 basis point rate cut later this month. No pressure.

+ It’s easy to forget that Elon Musk still runs a major car company…

Most recent headlines have been about his political endeavors/ambitions, like, say, preparing for his role of ‘Audit Czar.’ The man who once made a 4/20 joke to impress a girl, that led to SEC sanctions, is reportedly ready to lead a new government efficiency commission. What a time to be alive…

But when he isn’t busy doing God’s work, Elon is still shoving full self-driving down everyone’s throat in the name of creating shareholder value. Shares of Tesla (+4.9%) popped on news that the company would be rolling out FSD in China and Europe in Q1 2025.

What else?

+ Larry Ellison Will Control Paramount After Deal, Filing Says. David Ellison really just went all “because my dad told me to.”

+ Newsmax files for an IPO in late 2024 or early 2025.

+ Amazon nears major deal to broadcast NBA, MLB and NHL games on Prime streaming: sources. Will this be a conflict once Jeffrey Commerce buys the Celtics?

+ These are the top 10 highest-paying college majors — two have six-figure starting salaries. Bad news Art History majors…

+ Amazon Prime offers more than just speedy delivery. Don't miss these 10 hidden perks that can enhance your membership. Holy sh*t, you guys, did you know they have a whole a** streaming service?!

+ High-yield savings accounts are about to get a whole lot less attractive. Friendly reminder: the smart money expects a rate cut in September…

+ Nearly half of us are burned out at work — and these five jobs are the biggest culprits. Wait until consultants hear that their jobs were voted ‘least taxing’…

+ Gold has long been viewed as a safe haven in times of market volatility, but you can’t simply invest in physical assets in your traditional IRA - here's how to add gold to your portfolio. Step 1: Buy mining supplies…

+ Rising NFL valuations mean massive returns for owners. Here’s how good the investment is. Your daily reminder of just how poor you are.

🔥 Charlie Munger Warned About Inflation and Told Us How to Protect Against It – 'Most People are Going to Suffer.’ Spoiler: it had nothing to do with crypto…

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Yesterday, Nio reported ahead of the open. Broadcom, DocuSign, UiPath, Smartsheet, and Smith & Wesson dropped earnings after the bell. Plus, we got ADP employment data.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ The August US Jobs report is shaping up to be one of the most important data points of the year

Yesterday, I asked, “What’s the best type of golf?”

Honestly shocking that regular golf only got 75.8% of the vote. Mini came in second, for the record.

Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…

• Regular: "Only regular golf has beverage carts... and beverage cart girls" Bonk.

• Pitch & putt: “It’s the meat and potatoes of golf and takes way less time. The only problem is most courses like this aren’t in the best condition, but who cares it’s casual it’s fun you're working on the short game and gambling gets wild when everyone has a wedge.” Spoken like a true degen.

• Regular: "Those mouth breathers who vote "disc golf" should be banned from TWC." I have reported them to the authorities.

• Regular: "As a washed up ex-college athlete, there is no better way to blow my back out on a beautiful Saturday morning"

• Regular: "But only 9 holes." 9 hole is the move… spend the back 9 in the clubhouse.

• Disc: "Cheap, takes only 1-2 hrs, no time or patience for real golf..."

• Mini: "Sometimes smaller actually is better." Shocking, I know, but there are a few women who read TWC...

Here’s today’s question…

What band/musician’s tickets are worth a 10-hour wait on Ticketmaster.com (just so you can pay 2x face value?)

Reply directly to this email.

+ If this isn’t your goal in life, what even is the point?

🔥 I’m not sure any video captures the monotony and sheer terror of corporate America better…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.