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Today, we’re getting into Zuck’s newest (massive) ad product, the US Steel-Nippon merger is a done deal, and the Trump phone. But first...

In the June 17, 2019 edition of The Water Coolest, we covered Zuck’s decision to launch a Facebook stablecoin called Libra. A consortium of companies and VCs was reportedly ready to invest $10M (of real money) to get the Zuck Buck off the ground. Libra would let FB users pay for stuff on the ‘book (read: Marketplace and Farmville) and across the interweb.

So, what happened? Lawmakers lost their collective minds. Something about privacy and antitrust concerns. Pushback from governments across the globe effectively killed the initiative by the end of 2019. But the currency got a rebrand (as Diem) in 2020 before Zuck finally threw in the towel.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 18 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Zuck has got a fever, and the only prescription is more ad dollars…

After all, those $14.8B AI investments (we see you, Scale AI) don’t pay for themselves.

11 years after it acquired WhatsApp for $19B, Meta $META ( ▼ 1.93% ) has decided to turn the messaging app’s money printer on.

How? Ads, of course.

Americans be like “WhatTheF*ck is a WhatsApp?”

Ever wonder why your friend who studied abroad in college (and made it their entire personality) won’t stop trying to switch your group chat to WhatsApp? Turns out the encrypted messaging app is more popular in Europe than not working all summer and cigarettes for breakfast.

That’s right, just when you thought Europeans couldn’t get any more insufferable, you find out that they think they’re too good for a phone’s native text messaging app.

Of course, Telegram-for-people-who-aren’t-part-of-an-international-crime-ring is also pretty popular in parts of Asia, Africa, and South America. Don’t believe me? There are nearly 3B WhatsApp users worldwide. Zuck claims 100M users in the US… but I call bullsh*t considering I don’t know one of them.

So, yeah, it’s kind of a big deal…

Meta already monetizes WhatsApp to the tune of $500M to $1B annually (it doesn’t actually break the business out) by charging businesses for tools and services to reach customers (oh, so you mean advertising?)

But now, the floodgates have opened. Zuck will let brands bombard users in the Updates and Channel features of the app, where brands already interact with fans. Think: you won’t get incredibly targeted ads for Sydney Sweeney bathwater soap in your private “encrypted” group chat (… but you just know Zuck considered it).

The Next Episode

It appears that lizard bois’ glow up (see: gold chain and that broccoli haircut your intern has) isn’t the only makeover. He called WhatsApp part of Meta’s next chapter. Which makes sense considering a combined 17 people use Threads and Horizon World.

Of course, all of this is contingent on the US not forcing Zuck to unwind the WhatsApp acquisition. You might recall that Uncle Sam is considering the breakup of Zuck’s empire, citing antitrust f*ckery.

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+ What’s the matter, babe? You’ve barely watched your reruns of The Apprentice on your Trump Phone that we paid for with Melania Coin…

The Trump Organization just dropped a $499 smartphone dubbed the T1 and a phone plan that will run you $47.45 per month. The phone will have a gold case and American flag etching (obviously).

Shares of Apple plumm—… lol jk.

+ “You’ll get nothing and like it.” - Donny Politics

Shares of US Steel popped on Monday after #47 inked an exec order on Friday, finalizing the merger “partnership” between US Steel and Japan’s Nippon Steel. But not before POTUS got his art of the deal on. You see, closing was contingent on both sides giving the land of the free and the home of the brave a “golden share” of the company.

DJT did his best activist investor impression (take notes, Carl Icahn). The US secured multiple board seats and veto power over pretty much everything Nippon might do to get its ‘Japan Steel’ on. Think: veto power on naming rights, any HQ moves, and transfer of jobs outside of the US.

+ Andy Jassy out here making dreams come true. Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 1.33% ) went all Make-A-Wish, throwing Roku $ROKU ( ▼ 0.54% ) a bone by way of a new partnership on its Connected TV ad inventory. The two will team up to sling ad inventory across Amazon Prime Video, the Roku Channel, and streamers on Roku and Fire TV. Shares of Roku popped more than 10% on the news.

+ 2022 called, and it wants its go-public strategy back…

Crypto bro Justin Sun is getting his Chamath Palihapitiya on. Justin is taking his crypto company, TRON public via a SPAC. Remember those?

TRON will raise north of $200M as part of the grift merger with SRM Entertainment. Unlike most ‘acquirers’ in reverse merger deals during SPAC mania, SRM is a real company, with a real business. The Nasdaq-listed company makes theme park toys for companies like Disney and Universal Studios.

Of course, none of this should come as a surprise to anyone familiar with Sun. Sun was charged with financial fraud by the SEC and is still under investigation. He’s also made headlines by winning lunch with Warren Buffett and being the largest holder of Trump Coin.

+ US stocks “rebounded on Monday as investors were optimistic that the conflict between Israel and Iran may remain contained. The spike in oil prices due to the escalating conflict also eased.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “ticked higher Monday as global markets continue to react to deadly air strikes being exchanged between Israel and Iran.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices slipped $1 per barrel on Monday in volatile trading after reports that Iran is seeking an end to hostilities with Israel, raising the possibility of a truce and easing fears of a disruption to crude supplies from the region.” (Reuters)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Lennar reported after the bell

+ Amazon held its AWS re:Inforce conference in Philadelphia

+ The Paris Air Show began. Oof. Brutal timing.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ The US Census Bureau will drop the May Retail Sales report

Yesterday, I asked, “How was Father's Day celebrated in your house?”

27.3% of you said “Watched the US Open in peace.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Trump T1 Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

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