💩 Zero Zucks given

And RIP Venu

Author

Tyler Morin
January 13, 2025

In partnership with

Hey there weekday warrior,

Zuck’s midlife crisis is the gift that keeps on giving.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 19 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

+ US stocks “plunged on Friday as investors digested the final jobs report of 2024. The data blew past expectations on hiring, raising more uncertainty about the path of interest rates this year.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “jumped to [its] highest level since November 2023 after the latest jobs data came in stronger than economists had forecast.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices rallied nearly 3% to their highest in three months on Friday as traders braced for supply disruptions from the broadest U.S. sanctions package targeting Russian oil and gas revenue.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “[was] pretty quiet over the weekend, with BTC barely holding above the $94,000 level.” (NewsBTC)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) C3.ai -2.6% 2) Advanced Micro Devices -4.7% 3) Meta +0.8%

The market moves you need to know about


+ Power moves only. Constellation Energy shares shot up 25.1% on Friday after announcing plans to acquire geothermal and natural gas company Calpine for $26.6B. It probably didn’t hurt that Constellation also hiked its expectations.

+ Delta Air Lines shares soared 9% after dunking on Q4 expectations. Delta reported a beat on the top and bottom lines, with earnings of $1.85 per share on $14.4B in revenue. Delta also rolled out strong guidance for the year ahead. Bonus: it wasn’t the airline responsible for kicking Khabib Nurmagomedov off a flight.

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Zero Zucks given

Zuckerbot is going full Luigi Mangione on wokeness. His latest victim? DEI initiatives at the ‘book. Just a few days after giving Meta’s (+0.8%) fact-checker the Brian Thompson treatment, Zuck announced the end of programs that aimed at hiring diverse candidates and training employees on equity and inclusion.

Chief Diversity Officer Maxine Williams is sliding into a new role focused on “accessibility and engagement”
 whatever the f*ck that actually means.

*Columbia Pictures replaces Jesse Eisenberg with Dwayne Johnson for ‘The Social Network 2’*

Also on Friday, Mark showed up on the Joe Rogan Experience looking like a dude who smells like an ELFBAR and says things like “the Chainsmokers are my favorite band.”

And just in case you thought there was still a chance the Metaverse was going to have safe spaces, Zuck shared that he thinks DEI “culturally neutered” corporate America. Oh, and he canceled “toxic masculinity”


“It’s one thing to say we want to be kind of like welcoming and make a good environment for everyone and I think it’s another to basically say that ‘masculinity is bad,’ and I just think we kind of swung culturally to that part of the – the kind of – the spectrum.”

And it appears that Meta HQ is about to get its Stratton Oakmont on: “I think having a culture that celebrates the aggression a bit more has its own merits that are really positive.”

Lead by example

But Zuck isn’t just talking the talk, he’s walking the walk. Dude threw some major shade at Tim Apple. Mark said what we’re all thinking about Apple: “I feel like they haven’t really invented anything great in a while. It’s like Steve Jobs invented the iPhone and now they’re just kind of sitting on it 20 years later.”

Shots fired.

TS

+ â€œLook what you did, you little jerks!” - me (who is butthurt his 4-figure Robinhood account fell 3%) to the people who got jobs so they can afford their kids’ insulin

Stocks fell Friday after the December jobs report snuffed out any remaining hope for more Fed rate cuts in 2025. US payrolls grew by 256k (reminder: economists were expecting 155k) and unemployment ticked down to 4.1%. Want even more bad news? Traders now expect only 1 rate cut in 2025.

+ RIP, Venu Sports.

Disney (-1.0%), Fox (-1.5%), and Warner Bros. Discovery (-3.5%) just said f*ck it and pulled the plug on Venu Sports, the $3.5B play to bundle all their sports rights into one streaming platform.

Bob Iger’s gotta be big mad considering last week Disney bribed announced a “merger” with Fubo TV (-4.4%). As part of the deal, Fubo dropped its antitrust lawsuit against Venu Sports.

But DIS just learned why you don’t negotiate with terrorists. You see, DirecTV and Dish saw Fubo’s deal and went all “f*ck you, pay me” and challenged Fubo for bailing on the lawsuit. Now, the trio behind is taking its monopoly and going home.

+ Take the money or double it and give it to the next streamer?

The UFC is looking to roughly double its media deal, seeking $1B annually from prospective buyers. ESPN, which currently pays $450M a year for the rights, enters an exclusive negotiation window with UFC parent company TKO Group Holdings (-1.5%) this month. 

Newest Meta (+0.8%) board member and UFC CEO Dana White says he’s thrilled with ESPN
 which is exactly what you say when you’re trying to get double the cash for the same product. But the UFC isn’t short on suitors. If ESPN won’t pay up, TKO CEO Ari Emanuel and President Mark Shapiro believe they may get rizzed up by Amazon, Netflix, YouTube, and Warner Bros. Discovery.

+ Not that it matters, but
 Nordstrom (-0.3%) just raised its full-year sales forecast after a killer holiday shopping season. Website and brick-and-mortar net sales jumped 4.9% year over year. Despite the sales spike, Nordstrom isn’t raising its profit outlook for 2025.

Nordstrom’s days as a public company are numbered anyway. Last month, the Nordstrom founding family and Mexican retailer El Puerto de Liverpool dropped $6.25B to take everyone’s favorite mall parking lot provider private. Shareholders are cashing out at $24.25 a pop. Fashion fades, but buyouts are forever.

+ IRS announces the start of the 2025 tax season. Happy tax season to all those who celebrate.

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

FWD

âȘ Friday, Delta, Walgreens, Tilray, and Constellation Brands reported in the AM. Plus, the Supreme Court began hearing TikTok’s case.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on


+ Pretty slow Monday, you guys


EXIT

Yesterday, I asked, “What is the first thing you're using your Tesla Optimus for?”

Yardwork won easily. Laundry came in second. But I know you guys are lying because "You know..." finished 4th.

Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)


  • Other: "Grocery shopping...the evil place no one wants to go but has to. Instacart is highway robbery!”

  • Other: “Replace all the employees in my manufacturing plant.... sign me up!”

  • Other: “Help me find the goddamn remote... there it is”

  • Other: “Seeing this is something my wife doesn't do.... clean the house”

  • Other: “If they're that good, I'd like to have my brain transplanted into one. Having an old man's body sucks.”

And here’s today’s question


If you could ask one question during a job interview and they had to answer truthfully, what would you ask?

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Oh, and one more thing


What did you think about today's newsletter?

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FINE

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.