Hey there weekday warriors,

Zuck defeats a bunch of Karens in court. And Bitcoin can’t stop, won’t stop.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 37 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

+ US markets “climbed to another round of records on Friday, as the Dow and S&P 500 wrapped up their best week in a year after Donald Trump’s election win.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “fell for a second day Friday, set to finish the week lower even after a big pop triggered by Donald Trump’s presidential win.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled more than 2% lower on Friday as traders grew less fearful of prolonged supply disruptions from a hurricane in the U.S. Gulf of Mexico, while China's latest economic-stimulus packages failed to impress some oil traders.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “traded above $80,000 over the weekend, extending a run for the leading cryptocurrency, which got a lift from last week’s election victory by Donald Trump. ” (Investopedia)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla +8.1% 2) C3.ai +0.1% 3) Nvidia -0.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Tell me there is substantial doubt about your ability to continue as a going concern… without telling me. Jet.AI just completed a 1-for-225 reverse stock split which sounds like a good way to get the SEC to raid HQ. Shares cratered 25.2% on the day.

+ Boy, don’t we look stupid for not listening to Mark Minervini when he recommended Upstart… even though he had no idea what they do. Shares of the [*Googles ‘what does Upstart do’*] soared 46.0% after reporting a huge Q3 and eye-watering guidance.

Zuck’s social dilemma

A bunch of parents: *watch ‘The Social Dilemma’ one tie*

Those same parents to Zuck: “You better lawyer up a**hole…”

On Friday a judge let Zuck off the hook after a bunch of parents claimed he was responsible for social media addiction in kids. Zuckerbot was found not personally liable in 25… presumably because he’s not a real person and US law does not have jurisdiction over the lizard people.

The butthurt parents, who refuse to take personal responsibility for being deadbeats, claim that Zuck personally knew how destructive and addictive social media could be to their children. And that Mr. Steal Your Data had misled the public about just how much Facebook (-0.4%) and Instagram were like heroin to 7-year-olds.

Unfortunately for the plaintiffs, the evidence didn’t back up the claims. Oh, and it turns out that simply having corporate oversight isn’t enough to establish liability. Jeffrey Skilling gotta be like “wtf bro?”

The decision bodes well for Zuckerberg who faces 100s of similar suits brought by kids, school districts, and states. Bad day to be a digital ambulance chaser.

Although the judge said Zuck didn’t do anything to violate youngsters (which I’m pretty sure is what they said about Epstein the first time too…), Meta is not off the hook.

Google, Snap, and TikTok are dealing with similar legal issues. Who’s going to tell them Google+ closed down 5 years ago? And have they considered suing AOL for the impact of Instant Messenger on their yet-to-be-born offspring?

+ Live look at Bitcoin bulls at Thanksgiving dinner…

Bitcoin topped $80k $81k for the first time over the weekend… and someone needs to check in on the guy who spent 10k Bitcoins on two pizzas. The OG cryptocurrency mooned after Donny Politics’ win on Tuesday. Investors are anticipating a more crypto-friendly administration (… obviously).

+ “And for that reason I’m out…” - Bill Ackman

With the election behind us, Bill Ackman has plenty of time on his hands to do what he does best: play God with companies he owns stakes in.

On Saturday Dollar Bill tweeted that he plans to push Universal Music Group to list on a US exchange. UMG, which Ackman’s Pershing Square holds a 10% stake in, is currently listed in Amsterdam… for some reason.

Pershing had been hoping to make the move for a while, but it was Friday night’s attacks on Israeli soccer fans in Amsterdam that pushed Ackman to demand the change. UMG has indicated it has no intention of moving and claims Ackman can’t make them.

It might not have a choice though. As part of a unique deal UMG made with the devil, Ackman can force the music label’s hand… as long as Pershing agrees to sell $500M worth of stock as part of the new listing.

Your move, Bill…

+ Sick and tired of hearing about Elon? Too damn bad. It’s Elon’s world, and we’re just living in it.

Tesla’s (+8.1%) stonk continues to only go up in the aftermath of the election… and Elon’s presumptive roles as the head of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). After jumping another 8% on Friday, TSLA hit a $1T market cap… and Elon’s net worth topped $300B (for the first time in 3 years).

+ The President-elect gave his most recent Truth Social post the ALL CAPS treatment, which I’m pretty sure makes it legally binding.

His message? The only thing more secure than the southern border during his administration is his stake in DJT (+15.2%). #45 said he’s not selling his stake in the social media company, sending shares up 15% on the day.

+ Venting at work is good—gossiping isn’t, says leadership expert: ‘Now you’re a part of the problem’. This sounds like it was written by someone who gets talked about behind their back…

+ Yields on cash are still ‘well ahead of inflation,’ expert says. Here’s where to put your money now.

+ Mortgage rates could remain stubbornly high after Trump win — here’s why.

🔥 8 U.S. cities where people are moving to live cheaply: They’d ‘rather pack their bags than pay a higher rent,’ expert says. Why rent when you can buy in Detroit for $3.3k?

FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.

⏪ Friday, Sony, Paramount, and Canopy Growth reported before the bell.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Monday.com reports this morning

+ Grab drops earnings after the close

+ US bond markets are closed for Veterans Day

Friday, I asked, “You either have to move houses/apartments every single month OR have to take public transportation (or walk) from now on. Which are you choosing?”

77.6% of you are taking public transportation.

Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…

• Public transport: “Watching a homeless guy take a poop on the subway while simultaneously masturbating is less painful than moving” I think that's called a #3.

• Public transport: "NYC ftw m***** f******”

• Moving: "No one should have Spirit as their only source of flight."

• Public transport: "Moving every month sounds like my personal hell"

• Moving: "Only the poors do public transportation, Tyler."

And here’s today’s question…

+ When she blocks you on every other platform…

🔥 Not everything needs the Manningcast treatment, you guys…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.